What is so important about sex?

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Seriously, what is so great about it? Why does everyone feel that they need to have it? I have never understood this. Everyone acts like there is something wrong with you if you are still a virgin at a certain age. I feel that sex does more harm than good. There are so many risks to sex such as diseases, rejection, rape, and making a baby. There are so many people who have children and complain about them. It is their own fault that they have an unwanted child to take of. If you engage in sexual activity, then suffer the consequences. I heard a 22 year old female call up on a radio show and she was scared to death that she caught an STD because she found out that her boyfriend had slept with multiple women. If you are that scared, then why did you sleep with him? Why are people willing to take the chances without suffering the consequences later? That few minutes of pleasure could ruin your life forever. You could be stuck paying and taking care of an unwanted child for the rest of your life all because you couldn't say no to sex or use protection. The costs tend to outway the benefits when having sex. You are saving yourself a lot of trouble by not having sex. People get depressed if they are not having sex and I just don't understand that. I am 21, still a virgin, and will more likely be one for the rest of my life. I don't feel like I am missing out on anything by not having sex. I don't want to get married or have kids so there is no point in me to ever have sex. Plus, I am not interested in women, and even if I did want sex badly, it would never happen for me anyway because I could never find it and no one would want to do that with me.

There's nothing wrong with being a virgin at any age. There's nothing wrong with being asexual. Yes, many people will try to use that against you, because many people try to use any difference that they can to make themselves feel superior. It's not about sex. I'ts about status. They do the same thing if they love football and you don't understand it. Just be proud of who you are and confident about what's important to you. If people have a problem with that, it says more about them than it does about you.

I will add this though. I see in your comments about the dangers and risks with sex much of the same attitude of those who would shame you for not wanting it. There's nothing wrong with being asexual. But there's nothing wrong with being sexual either. Yes, there are risks. But there are risks to everything in life. There's a difference between accepting those risks and overlooking them. It's not up to you to decide whether the benefits outweigh those risks for other people, and judge them for the choices they make for their own lives.

I am not trying to put down anyone for wanting to have sex, I just don't understand why everyone wants to have it. If you are having it then good for you and if you are not having it, then what is the big deal? People go to extremes to have sex. Some people act like being a virgin will kill them. Sex is not like food and water. You need food and water to live, but you don't need sex to live. And no, I am not asexual. I wish I was, though. I am mostly attracted to males. But I am never going to have sex with anybody, whether it would be male or female so there is no point in me trying. I can control my hormones. I just don't want to make any mistakes and have to suffer the consequences. If you are that horny, then why not just masterbate? That is what I do to keep my hormones under control.

Nothing is important with sex. Other than sex for reproduction.

It's not that sex is really "important"--except for the preservation of our species.

It's that it is Orgasmically Pleasurable!

Why do people ride roller coasters, or play video games, or go to sporting events, or eat cookies? It's pleasurable. Some people don't like those things, so they don't do them. Some people like them more or less than others, so they do them more or less than other people. It's the same way with sex.

I, as an individual, don't need sex to live. But we, as a species, do. So no, it's not as important as food and water for most people. It's not so important that everyone has to do it. But, from an evolutionary standpoint, it's important enough that most people probably need to do it. So most people have a pretty deep biological drive for it. And satisfying that drive, even if it's not its intended purposes, can be really enjoyable. Just like eating ice cream can be a lot more enjoyable than just eating what you need to meet your nutritional needs. Again, if you don't derive that enjoyment, there's nothing wrong with you, and you shouldn't allow others to try and make you feel like there is.

Yeah, sex does come with risks, and if you're not comfortable with those risks it's probably not a good idea to be doing it. For most people, birth control and a partner that they trust mitigates the risks enough that they feel comfortable with the decision to be sexually active. Most of those people probably masturbate too, but sex can be a lot more intense and/or satisfying for many people than masturbation, so they tend to prefer sex when it's an option. It can also involve a lot of trust and vulnerability with your partner, partly because of those risks, so it also serves the dual purpose of facilitating intimacy within a relationship.

Again, it's a very personal choice. So don't let anyone let you feel like there's something wrong if those things don't make it worthwhile to you.

Exactly. Sex with a guy that I am incredibly attracted to is just incredibly delicious. A magical experience at it's best.
There were only two guys that I have been crazily attracted to in my life. With the first one I did foreplay and experimented, but didn't have sex until years later when I wasn't THAT attracted to him anymore, so it wasn't that magical anymore. I really really REALLY hope that I will meet a guy that I fall head over heals with and find super attractive (and that it's mutual). I have to admit that I am starting to miss the intimacy I fantasize about that hot, smart guy that I was in a course with. He's the second guy I am/was super attracted to. DAMN if I could get him we would have such nice sex

Last edited by Cafeaulait on 18 Nov 2014, 4:23 pm, edited 1 time in total.

He would see what an amazing body I have; how good I look without clothes; my slimness; my curves. Yes, I would blow his mind. The sex would be amazing and an an and and ...

But the truth is that I am alone, on my bed, worrying about a therapy session I have to give this thursday.

Sex is the best and most powerful drug in the world. With all the risks you have mentioned, why do people do it? Why do they even take the risk of death having it? Because it feels so dam good, especially with someone you like, emotionally of physically.
In France we also call an orgasm "La petite mort' what translates into The little death.

Sex is not some mysterious activity or like a virus. Its predictable as the sum of specific variables.

The formula for sex is:

Lf x 678.9 - (y7 + z2 + xc) x 26.8215 = x2 - y2 - z2 + p x 11 x (t + .45211)

The question is whether sex occurs as a result of the variables or the variables occur as the result of sex.

It is not necessarily a stand alone number, but can also be a sub-set of the much larger formula of life.

Hence I calculate sex's importance to be approx. 67%

To answer your basic question about the importance of sex, let's get the obvious out of the way: its needed to form children inside a mother's womb. You already knew that of course, so let's move on...

Yes, there are tons of worries involved, when you're dealing with two people who have made bad choices...but that's also true of other areas in life. Just as there's no 100% foolproof way to fire a gun without accidentally hurting somebody, there's always the chance of unwanted pregnancy when sexual intercourse occurs. On average, most forms of birth control are about 97% effective, and that's if you use them properly every time. STDs aren't a concern though, if two people remain virgins until engaging each other sexually, then remain faithful after that. Popular culture says that varied sexual experiences make someone an adult instead of a child, but that's pure nonsense. Maturity isn't linked to the biological capacity for sex, even on a physical level. Puberty simply enables both genders to produce and sustain offspring.

Additionally, sex also serves as a "bonding method" for couples, and that's not just some religious concept, either. The body contains a chemical called oxytocin, which is released into the blood during times of pain and pleasure. The more intense the experience, the higher the oxytocin level...but when people have multiple partners, their consistency with producing oxytocin lowers, which reduces the mental and emotional bonds. That's also why a heartbreak often lasts longer and feels worse, when people in relationships have had sex versus remaining celibate.

Sometimes you feel you phisically need it - due to libido, it's mainly comes from hormones (testosterone for males). At least I do feel it every day but I can't find girl and failed to lower libido level.

It's more fun than most things.

Geez, you turned me on.

As has been covered; procreation, pleasure.

Have you considered that you may be asexual?

As for self or societal pressures to have sex, the answer is.. it's not important.

I remember when I was a virgin and for a while it felt like it was such an EXTREMELY important thing, that I was missing out on something big, that I might never have sex, that I was falling behind my peer group etc and it was incredibly stressful. Meanwhile, my best friend who was sexually active at the time was like "Meh, it's no big deal, it's just sex.." and couldn't understand why I cared so much about it. But I did care, and it was important.. up until I was sexually active myself at which point it was good & fun and all, but then like a switch my mind flipped and I was like "Oh.. I see. It's really Not that big of deal." I mean, it is, but it really isn't. It WAS certainly a BIG deal when I wasn't having it.. but then over time I came to understand my friend's "Meh" position about t it.

Now, fast forward 15 years or so since those stressful conversations when I really let it bother me back in the end of my high school days and I've had more sex than a retired porn star. Sex to me today truly is "Meh." I'd rather read a book and go to sleep early to be honest. Part of that is because of very basic microeconomics.. sex has been so easily obtained that I don't even really want it anymore at the moment. There are other reasons for my lack of interest in it now, which can basically be summed up as I'm growing up at 32 and would rather have a relationship with someone where sex is meaningful vs. a serious of deep and meaningless one night stand relationships. Having the right friends, influences, and situations in my life has recently changed my perspective on this big time - again, like a switch has flipped in my head. At the moment I'm enjoying chatting and flirting with potential dates, and soon will enjoy a bit of a dating life getting to know someone, and eventually perhaps I'll have sex that actually means something to me vs. simply for the pure fun of it.

From someone who once felt it was THE most important thing I needed to do in my life, to having then done a lot of it, to now not being interested in it unless there's some sort of emotional connection involved.. that's my take on it throughout the cycle and I hope what others can take away from that is that your perspective on it can certainly change and evolve throughout your life in rather significant ways.

I'll take The Kinks over sex any night.