How can I be rid of all romantic desire?

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It's just one thing after another...I hit it off with a gal, only to have her ghost me after five or so dates. Another one is completely unclear in whether she likes me or not. And just today I bumped into a really cute woman who is a friend of my coworkers. But of COURSE she has a long term boyfriend. Either they're all taken or they use me to find they want someone else, or they enjoy playing games with me. And I'm sick of it.

Sick of having this biological urge, this desire for love and affection. Sick of wanting companionship and love, and how painful the process is of finding it. Sick of the rejection. Sick of the lies and the games. I want out of this game.

How can I rid myself of romantic urges, and desire for love? I wish there was a pill I could take. I exercise to exhaustion every day, I work hard, I fill my spare time with hobbies, but it does no good, I still think about women and wanting to be in a relationship. But I don't want to want. I want to be free so I can just live life.

Have any of you had better luck repressing these damned desires?

I used to have the same problem for years, but am now happily celibate.

I think the simplest option is to treat it like any other dangerous addiction: go cold turkey. Delete all profiles from dating sites and avoid any adult websites. Also unwanted wood can be dealt with by holding your breath and digging your fingernails into your thumb. Keep a record of how many days you have stayed clean - and keep reminding yourself that a wobble will cause your streak to go back to zero.

Remind yourself also of all the fundamental problems with relationships - it is a house of cards, it involves great change and upheaval, and you never know what the other person is truly thinking.

Finally there are certain educational films that can reinforce the desire to remain single - such as Fatal Attraction or The Wife he Met Online.

Hope these can help.

If your avatar is showing the right age, then you are just in the area that's most frustrating dating for men, as there is very little serious women to date. Its a good time to slow down and take a break. Also consider dating other age groups.

What you are missing probably is social contact. Make some friends, men or women and spend time with them. Join a meetup group or something.

Dating is always hideous and frustrating - regardless of age.

Heh, I've been there. I've even spoken to a doctor about Depo shots to remove the hormonal element of my "urges".

I agree with some of the above sentiments to a degree... maybe it's time to stop trying to find a mate. You can either pursue short-term, sexual relationships (speaking from experience, make it clear on day one that this isn't going to go past intercourse), and/or you can carry on with your life and maybe you'll happen to meet someone who maybe has experience with someone/people on the spectrum and can understand in ways other women don't. I dated a wonderful woman shortly after I moved to this state whom I later found out worked with non-verbal autistics. I had no intention of dating anyone because I had every intention of moving again as soon as I could afford to do so. You never know what you can find when you're not looking. Sometimes it turns out you've been looking in the wrong places the whole time.

Maybe use that time to deepen your understanding of yourself and/or others or pursue other interests?

You can't.

I put all of my time into my job and make a lot of money, that's the only way I can deal with it. Find a passion, hobby, or career and focus on that.

Let's face it, some human are asexual by nature, and unless that's the case, I believe trying to suppress your sexuality is only going to lead to some serious cognitive dissonance which can manifest in any number of ways. We're sexual creatures, and I say this without judgment, I feel we should celebrate (responsibly) the things that make us human. We only get one turn on this planet, make it count. Everyone needs an outlet of sorts. I compose music or paint. Channel those urges elsewhere when you need to into something healthy. Read and learn about useful things. I can recommend The Art of Seduction by Robert Greene and/or Irresistible Attraction: Secrets of Personal Magnetism by Kevin Hogan.

I don't think there is a man alive who hasn't experienced frustration, at least one with Asperger's. Hell, I'm in a long term relationship for going on four years and one of our biggest issues is that physical relations is just so awkward for me. I practically need a neon sign. When I'm single, it's even worse because the element of understanding is not present, and I can't pick up when a woman is interested in me as a partner, sexual or otherwise. I don't pick up on flirting. Dating is a nightmare, and the first coital event, forget it. So many unknown variables: do I stay, do I leave, was this a one time thing, did I do ok... it all leads to reaching for the anxiety meds (figuratively speaking, usually). I even worked in the entertainment industry for a while in many different capacities, for a while as a magician. Want to know how to make a beautiful woman disappear? "Hi, I'm Richard, I'm a magician".

Why didn't I move forward with Depo shots? I wasn't diagnosed back then, but I knew something was different about me. I spent 20 years studying to figure out how to be like everyone else and be able to socialize, date, have relations, have friends, et cetera. All I got out of it was a clinical understanding of humanity that serves me well, but it didn't change the fact that I have Asperger's.

I decided that whatever made me different, it's not me. It's not who I am, and I decided that I was not going to let it dictate my life for me. Sometimes having this sucks, it just really, really sucks, and sometimes I celebrate the fact that I am me and wouldn't have it any other way.

Option 1: Clinical depression. It can kill your libido and desire to interact with other people. But I do not know how to induce it, and it has a lot of other negative consequences.

Option 2: Have one or more bad romantic relationships. During my late teens and early twenties, I would date pretty much any woman who expressed an interest in me. This led to some awful relationships, from which I have never fully recovered.

Romantic desire will go in time.
Worse thing anyone can do is suppress it, so just accept it and then try and deal with it.
I hope you do find someone one day, everyone desires love especially us Aspies, it's just harder and takes a bit longer then average to find the right someone.

Only if you accept or extend date invites to ONLY awful people (ie no nice ones to break up the monotony).

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If you wish to be free from romantic desire, ignore the urge to ask girls out or accept invites for dates from girls. You'll hopefully eventually get used to it!

You can only get rid of it by having romantic connections with people. If you cannot get a real gf/bf, get an imaginary instead. The latter does work for some (possibly many) Aspies, and if you happen to find a real gf/bf, you can just skip to the real thing.

OP, you shouldn't rid yourself of all romantic desire because you may need it one day.

But how do you get to the second one without passing through the first one?

BTW, is that your tattoo IRL because it's awesome!

how does one make up a gf?

You select somebody you like, obsess about her, and then she will be your made up gf.

A tip is that it's best to select somebody you won't be likely to see with other guys, but still see regularly.

Some people might not even need a real role-model. Another way could be to select some celebrity.

I should have chosen my words more carefully, I used a regional colloquialism. My apologies. What I had intended to imply was an even greater degree of apprehension/anxiety regarding the first sexual event relative to dating in general. We ultimately decide how we handle it.

I wish that was my tattoo. I was looking for a creative design related to ASD to get, and that one came up. I thought it was rather keen.