Do women in sexual relationships...

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...with no commitment devalue themselves for monogamous long term relationships?
Or, to put it another way, I am in a casual sexual relationship with a guy I have known for a decade. But at the same time, I like this one guy at work.
So, will the guy at work even consider me if I have a casual sexual partner now (obviously I wouldn't be with casual guy if I was in a relationship with someone else.)
Or, to put it another way, am I a slut and, if so, does this make me a bad person?

If you end the casual relationship if anything happens with the new guy then there's no need for you to even tell the new guy about the casual relationship.

That's true and I would. I just feel like a hypocrite because I am interested in a guy while still being with someone else, mostly because it's familiar.

If you aren't in a committed relationship with the current guy, then you are not a hypocrite. You aren't doing anything wrong. You just found someone who you think you would have a better connection with.

I think many males would not devalue a woman who has had casual sex before. I think most men would actually like the sexual openness of such a woman. I know I would.

Cool.

I don't believe a woman in more "ephemeral" relationships devalue themselves. They are seeking satisfaction--just like men seek satisfaction.

I've known virgins who really were not virtuous at all; in a word, their morals were quite questionable. I've known women who have "been" around" who, through learning about life, have become paragons of virtue and morals.

Well, virtue and morality are important to everyone, even if they don't know it.

Regarding satisfaction ... meh ... sex seems more a mere bodily function to me as I get older. I don't think it has much to do with actual compatibility.

For me to be able to PHYSICALLY make love with someone, there has to be, at the VERY least, some sort of compatibility. It has lots to do with it as far as I'm concerned.

Have you ever had sex with someone you hated? I have. It is strange. Like you and your body are separate.

Last sunday I had it with a girl that I met for a second time, with no commitment intention at all.

but.....gawd, this was so embarrassing, I really found it very hard to get erection - it was a horrible and a major strike on my ego lol. The first time it wasn't that bad.

Even tho I get it normally in mornings or when I fantasize or when I watch something erotic....weird. Maybe it's that lack of experience and my very delayed loss of virginity or maybe lack of great attraction, I hope it's just that.

I am mainly worried about pre-diabetes now (it causes impotence) even tho I have no other symptoms but both my father and brother have diabetes.

ok that's adult topic lol

Grumpy Cat Dr. Ruth here. You should have that checked out. You're a little young for that to happen or keep happening. About the diabetes, if it's in the family you should have it checked - you don't want to have certain things that have to eventually be whacked off - like feet and legs I mean.

Perhaps you should ask yourself whether you're interested in the kind of men who judge women unfavorably for their prior sex lives.

I've often found that sexual success only comes with the objectification of one's partner. But that could just be me.

Good point.

If I don't like a woman, I can't obtain an erection in her presence.

I've never tried, but I imagine her with a disgusted look on her face, as though saying---or actually saying, for all I know, "So what? Is that tiny, sorry thingy all you've got? Do you seriously think I've taken the trouble to go on a pointless and boring date with you, and came here with you for that?", and it seems definitely off-putting.