Perhaps a stupid question

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Would an aspie man use a woman to hang around him, just like a neurotypical would, to boost his ego even if he didn't like the woman romantically?

Last edited by angela8 on 10 Sep 2020, 9:18 am, edited 1 time in total.

I'd be surprised, but I have been surprised about what aspies are capable of doing a billion times.

Are you saying you are an NT?

A sufficiently high-functioning individual might (a narcissist would be more likely to than an Aspie, though). But it's more likely the person isn't communicating their feelings in a way their partner understands.

Can't speculate any further, since I haven't met either party.

This is a List of Positive Aspie Traits in General

* They are usually loyal and dependable. Competing to get ahead is less important than solving problems and meeting challenges. Conscientiousness, faithfulness and devotion to duty matter more than ambition, especially if that ambition would cause others to suffer.
* Adults with Aspergers pursue ideas they believe in without being deterred by what others say. They are not easily swayed by others’ opinions, nor do they give up because someone tries to convince them otherwise.
* They are good at recognizing patterns and in classifying things. They are comfortable with order, precision and categorization, which make them successful in following rules, allocating resources and solving problems.
* They tend to be sincere, positive and genuine, which make them loyal and dependable friends. * Speaking their minds regardless of the social context is true of many adults with Aspergers. They are much more interested in someone’s skills and expertise than whether that person is viewed favorably by others.
* Adults with Aspergers are especially good at noting and recalling details. They are helpful at work that requires knowledge of facts, details, and memory. They are often exceptional at the recall of details forgotten or disregarded by others. They have a passion for gathering and cataloging information on a topic of interest.
* An acute sensitivity to specific sensory experiences and stimuli, including touch, vision, and smell is common and having such unusual sensory experiences gives them a different perspective on the world.
* Adults with Aspergers tend to be trusting of others, even charmingly naïve. They are compassionate and caring, and many maintain the belief in the possibility of positive relationships.
* They are often direct, speak their mind and are honest. Many have a strong sense of social justice.
* Because they don’t mind being alone, they are often willing to engage in solitary work that others avoid, which puts them in the position of making tremendous contributions at work and school.
* They are able to comprehend multiple levels of meanings of words and ideas and can form connections that others miss.
* They are persistent, and when they set their minds to something or make a promise they can usually be trusted to follow through.
* A relationship with someone who has Aspergers tends to be free from bias and discrimination based on race, gender, age or other differences. They judge people based on their behavior not the color of their skin, socioeconomic status or political influence.
* They are not inclined to be bullies, con artists or social manipulators.
* “Most of the major advances in science and the arts have been made by people with Asperger’s”

So in general, the answer is NO, Aspies tend not to be social manipulators. But then again you might have run into an NT disguised as an Aspie. A wolf in sheep's clothing.

Perhaps?

I wouldn’t do that!

That would be really stupid.

You can still be autistic and narcissistic. One doesn't cancel the other out. Narcissism is learned behaviour. Autism is delayed brain development.

I have known very autistic people who have had narcissistic parents and they have copied the awful parents behaviour.

It's definitely not unheard of. Narcissism is one of those traits that appears to be programmed into a person’s behavioral repertoire after birth, not before.

Don't think for a second because someone says they're autistic they are innocent from stuff because I have known plenty of autistic people to be absolute bastards as much as I've known them to be lovely people.

Some NTs would do this and some would not.

Some aspies would do this and some would not.

Hope this helps.

Nope.
All rubbish.
Don't believe a word from this man.
<joke>

Agreed.
But I still think there are more NT bastards than aspie ones.

We all know *YOU* would.

Just look at you. <sigh>
You'd make a trash can look adorable, by comparison.
You'd have to get your ego-boost from somewhere.

Yep! My daughter's male friend in high school did just that. They first met in special education when they were little. As they grew, he found a "purpose" for my daughter. My daughter just wanted a friend. Even just one would do and it didn't matter whether the friend was male or female. When kids are mainstreamed, they often see themselves as outsiders and long to be with those seen as popular. So, the people that are "actually" there for them are meaningless yet purposeful for getting them "in" with the popular crown. I had to literally force my daughter to "unfriend" this boy - too much trouble with other girls in that stinking high school. He just stood around like he was a damned peacock.
In the end, he got his. Adulthood got even with him.

Sometimes I think that Narcissists are 1/2 psychopath. I honestly think that they are born this way. The training comes on after birth because one or both parents are like this too. The are born this way and the skills are sharpened by being raised by the same sort. Like a kid being born with musical talent and has a mother who is already an accomplished musician. I think it goes like this from small to greater: ADHD, Borderline PD, narcissism, sociopathy and then full-blown psychopathy. It's just a thought. There is a good book out: "Do You Know Who I Am?" by Dr. Ramini Dervasula She has Youtubes also.

I find autistics to be copycats because they don't know how to be. If you raise an autistic with a toxic crowd early in life,You will get the worst one out of the bunch. But on the other hand, I had met an actual psychopath with Down's Syndrome. It turned my whole thinking upside down. You could see he had trisomy but his whole demeanor was "driven". It was unnerving. Completely over-confident and NOBODY, yes sir, NOBODY was going to tell him how to be. Nobody dared.

It could be about having what everybody else has and not really "knowing" that woman and wanting connection by really knowing her. It's possible that the aspie has learned that from other NT men. I remember my child's SpE teacher saying to watch others and imitate them. I could've punched this woman's face right in because the majority of the kids in my child's school were horrific. Don't trust teachers too, too much.

It's a very interesting concept, I believe there have been studies done on narcissism, in particular, to see if it was genetic and there was some speculation of it actually being real but it's hard to say because the parent could be a covert narcissist and they just picked the traits up from them because kids brains are like sponges and soak it all up.

I agree with what you are saying about having an autistic person being brought up in a toxic environment though, we kind of will just form into the toxicity around because we think that's normal and how you are supposed to act then becomes second nature to basically just be a bastard in life.