Feeling Lost. Havent had a significant other in many years.

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There comes a time when a man looks at his life and wonders about things. I have had absolutely no luck finding a significant other in my later years in life. In fact I've had a lot of negative overreactions from women. In Highschool, college and at the begining of Photography School I had very positive reactions from women. I had them asking me out quite a bit. Now it is entirely the opposite.They are very quick to judge me and they judge to the harshest extent. Do I belong here? Should I go back to Nova Scotia? If I don't belong in either places then where do I belong?

Most Girls I have dated have either been mean or nasty towards me. I was in a 4 year relationship back in Nova Scotia that was very rocky. I was lucky to meet a few nice girls on the internet though. I've been told I make women feel very uncomfortable. Why such hatred? In 11 years I've come so close but have not had a significant other.

Ive had girls flirt with me. Ive had girls who have boyfriends try to pick me up. No takers in many years though. Came close to having a relationship a few months ago but she said she wasnt ready.

You're looking at this problem backwards. If you make women feel uncomfortable you need to identify the root cause for that problem and resolve it.

As long as you insist on framing their discomfort as hate, like they're doing something wrong for feeling uncomfortable, you really aren't emotionally mature enough to consider dating. It's not their fault that they look for red flags or that they trust their guts.

some of us, many of us in fact, exist on a frequency or vibrational level that is compatible with nobody else or almost nobody else [i.e. the right person existed a century ago or will exist a century hence, but not in the present lifetime]. some are slightly luckier and there may be one other person within a few years of their age resident in the same country but likely thousands of miles apart.

Neither have I but I am working on changing that!

I have never been married but I have dated and had boyfriends

In order to achieve my goals of marriage and a career I MUST untether from my brother first!

That is the challenge

How can I get to the point of marriage without upsetting my brother?!?

I am ready for a long-term relationship and I feel I have to prove all those naysayers like Anita wrong about me never getting married because of my disability!! !

I will prove it IS possible!

^^^if you don't mind, what is it about your brother that so dominates your life?

I like this.

Who initiated the conversation and why?

He is clingy and if I get married or move out on my own that means I will have to break away from him

What I need to do is figure out a way to safely untether from him without risking resentment or anger!

My therapist is helping me with this

he has no real power over you. only power that he has is what you grant him, and you can change that should you determine to do so. now if you wish to be his caretaker, i can't say anything about that, but i can say you deserve to be able to have your own life to live.

I cant remember who initiated it but we dated for about 3 or 4 months. She herself had some issues but that didnt matter to me as I liked her as a person. She said that the idea of a serious relationship overwelmed her and that she just wasnt ready. She told me that I was hands down the nicest guy she ever dated and the nicest guy she met. We still talk sometimes. She asked me how my parents are doing not long ago.

Do you know why you tend to make women uncomfortable? Have any of them given you more information than that?

That was unlucky. I have to admit, things are different after 50, less jumping in feet first, more seemingly interminable tuning in, if that makes sense?

Will he be able to physically survive on his own? What kind of disability (if any) does he have? Are there various bureaucratic matters you and he still need to take care of to ensure that he can survive without you living with him? Hopefully there's someone who can advise you on how to arrange a home health aide for him, if he needs that?

Alas, it might not be possible for you to avoid at least some anger and resentment on his part. But he has no right to stop you from moving out. You certainly do have the right to move out, while still doing whatever needs to be done to ensure that he can survive on his own.

He is Autistic

I am sure he can, it's more that he is afraid to lose his last remaining family member

(my dad is dead and my mom is in a permanent rest home so looking at this from his perspective I absolutely get why he is acting this way)

What do you mean by "bureaucratic matters"?

Maybe but I should look into that

Once I am engaged or find a new place to move to it will be too late for him to be able to stop me!

For example, is he employed/employable? If not, is he receiving all the government assistance he is eligible for? I was wondering if he might need you to help ensure that he is. This would include arranging for him to have a home health aide, if he needs one, and also, perhaps, arranging for him to be evaluated for eligibility for whatever services your state provides for people with developmental disabilities.

Determine the single most common factor in all of your failed relationships.

No, the anger women direct at you is not it.  Figure out what YOU do that makes them angry.