Told someone I was interested in that she is a hypocrite

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Back in November I met someone near me and we started to become friends. I would like it to be more, but she is keeping me as just a friend. Even though I pay for tha majority of the stuff we do, so I'm starting to have issues with that, too.

But like me, she is diabetic. She knows my issues with it. She is always telling me how to be a "good" diabetic and how I should eat, take my shot, ect. But she freely admits that she does not do these thing herself. So last night i told her the main reason I don't listen to her is because i feel she is a hypocrite and I can't go with what a hypocrite does, totally against my nature.

Now she is mad at me and won't talk to me. Should I let it go or try and talk to her? This is the same person where I made a post about here:

http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt55213.html

Dude, maybe she's not a hypocrite and she just cares more about you than herself...

Why would someone not take care of their self when they know they should?

For me I have a very big issue when it comes to taking drugs, any type of drugs. Someone very close to me is a recovering crack addict, I have seen what drugs can do to people. So now all of a sudden I have diabetes and I have to take a needle every day, it makes me feel like I'm a total drug addict. I know insulin is not a drug, but i feel like I'm putting something in my body that should not be there.

Your words were way to strong, man. Save accusatory language for fights or foes, not with friends and with someone who does not mean to offend you. Hypocrite is a strong word. Someone calls you that and you immediately feel like your character is being attacked. Attacks on character are never taken lightly because it feels like someone is attacking you personally. Tell her you didnt mean she is a hypocrite, but that she does not follow her own advice and you feel like it may not work for you. That word has such strong connotations. You should try to talk to her; it sounds like it was a misunderstanding, just use different, gentler words next time.


On the side note, your body makes insulin naturally. Insulin is a totally different story. It's not like your taking aspirin or even crack and injecting that into your body. If you dont have insulin, you could die. Be careful, please.

Well at this point I'm not even sure I want to stay friends with her. I'm not feeling like this friendship is going anyplace. I'm always the one paying for everything when she comes over. She lives on an island and flies over here to see me, and the last 2 times she asked me to pay for her return flight. I'm not sure if she really feels even friendship towards me or is just using me to spend time away from the island she lives on.

Maybe what I said was a little harsh, but I was also frustrated from paying her way all the time.

insulin is very important; I have to take a shot a day of it. For life. There's a line between the pot calling the kettle black and outright hypocrisies.

If she is your friend, then you can set limits, and understandings with her.

Insulin is supposed to be there, and it's not (in adequate quantity). Therein lies the whole problem. The drugs you'll have to take if you don't control your diabetes are the ones you'll really hate.

That said, I can understand your not wanting to take medications, even if you hadn't seen what addiction can do. I struggle to take antibiotics if I need them. I don't like foreign substances in my body either. Insulin is a different story though - it's a matter of replacing what your body is not making enough of so you can remain free of the complications of high glucose levels.

Is it possible she's not taking her meds when she should because she can't afford them?

Then stop doing it, and informing her of this before she visits again may be a good idea.

She has a full time job and health insurence like me. But like me she does not want to eat like a diabetic should and all that. But she thinks its OK for her not to do that but she tells everyone else how to behave.

Good advice.

Bump it. Sounds like a hypocrite to me. Wants to be friends and have you pay for everything and tell you what to do... If she can't take the truth, it's not your problem to apologize for the way she is.

That depends.

When I was with my first gf, should I have told her she was fat and frigid?
When I was with my second gf, should I have told her she was thick and had awful clothing sense?
When I was with my third gf, should I have told her that it felt like she was deliberately making my jealous?

No, I shouldn't, because telling someone you CARE ABOUT what their worst quality is is an utterly ridiculous thing to do.

Not exactly the same. First, telling a gf is somewhat different than telling a friend. Second, telling your gf she's fat and frigid is perfectly acceptable, IF she's trying to make you diet while horking food down, and to put the moves on her while beating you with a stick.

"i told her the main reason I don't listen to her is because i feel she is a hypocrite"... This is not the same as saying "i told her she is a hypocrite".

Using the words "fat" or "hypocrite" at all is not ok, because tehy have a negative connotation to them. Even if the person is chubby and telling you to eat salad, it's not good to retort with I wont listen to you because you're fat. Thats just hurtful and probably isn't at the same level of conversation the other person is giving you.