dating after graduating college...

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roadGames
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02 Dec 2008, 7:18 pm

I finish my BS spring '09 and frankly, I'm terrified about the post-college dating scene. I mean, how the hell are you supposed to even meet like minded girls after college. The one thing I really like about college is that it's actually really easy to meet girls with your same interests since you're taking classes with them on that interest all day (I wish I realized this earlier, but that's a whole other story), but after college? What is there? Bars? I don't really dig the bar scene. Luckily, I'll be doing grad school in fall '10, but man, I think I'm actually going to miss undergrad a lot between graduation and fall '10.



Kirska
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02 Dec 2008, 7:35 pm

I believe that behind college/school, the workplace is the #2 place that people meet spouses.


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kip
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02 Dec 2008, 8:05 pm

Kirska wrote:
I believe that behind college/school, the workplace is the #2 place that people meet spouses.


Seconded.

When/if you get a job involving your degree, you'll meet other people there. They don't even have to have the same degree, IE, the IT guy who falls for the hot secretary... yap yap.

You'll meet tons of smart, professional people in the workplace, and a few like me who are flat out nuts. So there's something for everyone. Just don't go to work in the morning thinking you'll come home married, make friends first, then date.

Work is kinda like high school, except people are less likely to be petty. It's more of the fun side of high school, IMO.


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02 Dec 2008, 9:09 pm

Your friends and co-worker can introduce you to new possible dates.



Blatherskite
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02 Dec 2008, 9:11 pm

Open your heart. You'll find a whole scene you didn't even realize was there.



ToadOfSteel
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02 Dec 2008, 9:16 pm

Just be happy you had women in your college... I'm a junior now and I'm the IT program of a school that is already 4:1 male to female ratio...



t0
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02 Dec 2008, 9:30 pm

ToadOfSteel wrote:
Just be happy you had women in your college... I'm a junior now and I'm the IT program of a school that is already 4:1 male to female ratio...


One of the reasons I elected to earn a minor in psychology to go with my CS degree.

Once you get out of school you should look for local activities or groups that look interesting to you. You'll find like-minded people there. Most cities have groups that organize local sports leagues, educational programs at the library or theater, etc. You just need to find ones that interest you and go.



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02 Dec 2008, 9:33 pm

ToadOfSteel wrote:
Just be happy you had women in your college... I'm a junior now and I'm the IT program of a school that is already 4:1 male to female ratio...

Trust me it's no walk in the park for the women either, surrounded by a constant sausage fest :lol:


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02 Dec 2008, 10:01 pm

ToadOfSteel wrote:
Just be happy you had women in your college... I'm a junior now and I'm the IT program of a school that is already 4:1 male to female ratio...

i was just about to say "wow that's a lot of girls" before i reread what you said. (i thought you said your program had 4:1, not the whole school) i'm in electrical engineering and in one of my classes i counted 8 guys to every girl, but the girl:guy ratio for the whole school is somewhere between 3:1 and 5:1 (i've heard 5:1 cited more frequently but i'll be conservative and say 3:1) so i've got better prospects. there's also another university in town, it's a rival university so some girls from ottawa u will turn me down simply because i go to carleton... especially the nurses :evil:. ottawa u nurses seem to have a strong dislike for carleton engineers, once i was talking to a girl, she mentioned she was in nursing at ottawa u, i said "oh cool, i go to carleton for engineering" and she just gave me a disgusted look and walked away.

anyways, as for dating after college/university, work is a good place, as mentioned, to meet potential mates, or to be introduced to potential mates. there are always bars and dance clubs, but many people on here (myself included) don't like clubbing, so that may not be the choice for you. if you have an interest or a hobby that has a local group of some sort (i'm in rowing, so i interact with people from a wide range of ages at the club, although they're mostly from university or near that age) then that's an option. random encounters also work sometimes, if you see a girl you fancy go up and talk to her, doesn't matter if you're at a video store, pub, whatever, try to get a conversation going. other than that i'm out of ideas.

t0 wrote:
ToadOfSteel wrote:
Just be happy you had women in your college... I'm a junior now and I'm the IT program of a school that is already 4:1 male to female ratio...


One of the reasons I elected to earn a minor in psychology to go with my CS degree.

it's also one of the reasons i'm taking a psychology course that doesn't count toward my degree.



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02 Dec 2008, 10:25 pm

Yes, it is much harder to meet women after graduating from college. In many workplaces, policy can make it awkward to pursue a relationship with a coworker, and your job may not bring you into frequent contact with single women in your age range anyway. I've tried bars and nightclubs, and they're not really a good fit for my personality, and I don't have friends to go with anyway, which can make breaking the ice with new people harder. I've tried finding social/interest groups, but the age range is diverse, and there's no guarantee others will be single anyway.

It's not easy.



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02 Dec 2008, 10:56 pm

Well, considering all things, you could probably continue to hang at the clubs where the college types hang out, at least for a couple of years. There's always grad school...;)



roadGames
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02 Dec 2008, 11:45 pm

t0 wrote:
ToadOfSteel wrote:
Just be happy you had women in your college... I'm a junior now and I'm the IT program of a school that is already 4:1 male to female ratio...


One of the reasons I elected to earn a minor in psychology to go with my CS degree.

Once you get out of school you should look for local activities or groups that look interesting to you. You'll find like-minded people there. Most cities have groups that organize local sports leagues, educational programs at the library or theater, etc. You just need to find ones that interest you and go.


Nice. That's actually similar to what I'm doing, except it's thrown under the label of 'Brain and Cognitive Sciences' as my major (basically, a lot of psychology, neurobiology, and computer science).

I figure I'm just going to try to make the best of my last semester at uni as an undergrad. Just in like the last semester or so, I've started to finally 'get' girls, dating, and being comfortable around myself with them. Weird how it had to happen by my last year in college, but I'm glad it finally did.



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03 Dec 2008, 12:48 am

Blatherskite wrote:
Open your heart. You'll find a whole scene you didn't even realize was there.
Do you have any idea where this scene could actually be?



Space
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04 Dec 2008, 10:51 pm

NeantHumain wrote:
Yes, it is much harder to meet women after graduating from college. In many workplaces, policy can make it awkward to pursue a relationship with a coworker, and your job may not bring you into frequent contact with single women in your age range anyway. I've tried bars and nightclubs, and they're not really a good fit for my personality, and I don't have friends to go with anyway, which can make breaking the ice with new people harder. I've tried finding social/interest groups, but the age range is diverse, and there's no guarantee others will be single anyway.

It's not easy.

It's not that easy in college either. I've been there for almost 4 years. Still trying to figure out how to make friends here. I don't... get it... I have tried... all sorts of things. Nothing seems to work. I don't know what it is... I know I have AS, but I don't know why I can't make friends whatsoever. People probably think I am a serial killer or something. I just don't know how to make friends. I don't have a date either. Sometimes I think I should just kill myself because I am a failure at being a social human being... but I hope it gets better some day.



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04 Dec 2008, 10:58 pm

Space wrote:
It's not that easy in college either. I've been there for almost 4 years. Still trying to figure out how to make friends here. I don't... get it... I have tried... all sorts of things. Nothing seems to work. I don't know what it is... I know I have AS, but I don't know why I can't make friends whatsoever. People probably think I am a serial killer or something. I just don't know how to make friends. I don't have a date either. Sometimes I think I should just kill myself because I am a failure at being a social human being... but I hope it gets better some day.


I commute to school so I don't even know anyone in school...



Blatherskite
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04 Dec 2008, 11:34 pm

ToadOfSteel wrote:
Space wrote:
It's not that easy in college either. I've been there for almost 4 years. Still trying to figure out how to make friends here. I don't... get it... I have tried... all sorts of things. Nothing seems to work. I don't know what it is... I know I have AS, but I don't know why I can't make friends whatsoever. People probably think I am a serial killer or something. I just don't know how to make friends. I don't have a date either. Sometimes I think I should just kill myself because I am a failure at being a social human being... but I hope it gets better some day.


I commute to school so I don't even know anyone in school...


I used to have to commute to school... it was hell. f**k commuting!