Question for the Aspie males that want girlfriends.

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I had good luck delivering pizzas of all things for about 5 years, the brief duration of your interactions with the customers keeps things from being overwhelming, and the generally low key nature of the work makes it easy to take a breather if things get intense (drive slower). Service work is great for learning to socialize because you have a clear indicator of your success and a built in in reward system in that if you're more personable you make better tips. Plus, if you do late night delivery like I did, if you're not the Elephant Man you will get hit on while working, times 10 if you're female, which is a great way to get some practice in while risking virtually nothing, including making an ass of yourself in front of an audience. Just don't work for a mega-corp store like Domino's or Pizza Hut, their culture doesn't tend to agree with us Aspies. Try a small mom and pop shop and volunteer for the slower day shifts, and if you can handle that work your way up to the busier nights.

The thing is, Toad and others don't really want a girlfriend, they just want to complain. If Toad wanted a girlfriend, he would realize that a majority of women like a more socially adept man, and he'd work to overcome his social difficulties instead of saying "I can't." 4 years ago, I was the guy at the restaurant that thought everyone in there, from families to waitresses, were laughing at him. Now I love to go to restaurants. So this whole "I was born this way, I can't help it" is a bunch of b.s. .

I agree, and admit that I don't want a girlfriend or sex bad enough either. While my location doesn't have a lot of hangouts or places to socialize even for NTs, if I wanted it bad enough, I would find some way to hit up the big city an hour from me and at least give that a try before saying it wouldn't work out or I wouldn't meet any local women. Or I'd make more friends that are more social than me, tell them about my situation as far as being picky, and hang out with them or see if they could set me up with someone that's my type.

Thats the problem, Tim and Toad want a GF, but they don't want one badly enough to actually do anything about it.

Ken is another story completely.

Eh, I don't doubt how badly they want a gf. I'm guessing they just don't feel empowered enough, or certain enough of the steps they should take that would help them.

They want a woman to accept and love the current version of them. The problem is, they don't love themselves, so how could they expect a woman to love a self-loathing person?

We're really speaking over their heads. They aren't unintelligent, but they're not in a position, due to their stubborness and depression, to understand that in order to get what they want (a girlfriend) they have to change.

I will say one thing about Toad. He has a better chance than TimTex because his only criteria is that she likes him. While IMO, that's kind of needy, to just want ANYONE who likes you, he will find someone eventually even if he doesn't change.

It seems that Tim is pickier than most people, yet complains all the time. I mean be picky if you want, but don't complain if you choose to be.

At least Toad isn't picky, so he has more of a right to complain all the time.

But they need to learn that doing nothing will not improve anything. They will never find anyone if they keep it up. Some magical woman who loves them for who they are will not just walk in their door.

Its hard enough for those of us who make an effort to find someone who accepts us for who we are. Toad is lucky in the sense he hasn't really tried to meet anyone by the sounds of it and still managed to get a GF for a while.