Do looks even matter for Aspies?

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zen_mistress
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10 Apr 2011, 2:19 am

.......


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Last edited by zen_mistress on 10 Apr 2011, 2:36 am, edited 1 time in total.

TeaEarlGreyHot
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10 Apr 2011, 2:22 am

There are plenty of men out there just like that. I got the impression many replied to this thread, even.


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zen_mistress
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10 Apr 2011, 2:24 am

I hope you are right, TeaEarlGrey, I have become pretty cynical of late.


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TeaEarlGreyHot
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10 Apr 2011, 2:28 am

I'm always right, even when I'm wrong. :-P


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zen_mistress
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10 Apr 2011, 2:36 am

Well, that is comforting to know :) .


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emuman100
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10 Apr 2011, 2:53 am

TeaEarlGreyHot wrote:
I'm always right, even when I'm wrong. :-P


If I had a dollar every time I heard that from my ex, I'd be a very rich man!


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TeaEarlGreyHot
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10 Apr 2011, 2:56 am

lol


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NTgal
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05 Mar 2012, 9:01 pm

I find this thread interesting. Firstly, I should say, when I signed up to this forum, I considered myself to be more NT, but after my boyfriend going through the dx process, we have both wondered if in fact, I might be somewhat AS also. Which is why my nick is NTgal, but now consider myself more to be Aspiegal :) I haven't been game enough to go through the dx process yet, but that's beside the point.

This thread has been very interesting to read. I've been with my boyfriend for 6 years. I find him attractive, but to me, the first thing that drew me to him was his personality. Without the personality, the looks mean nothing. Which brings me to my next point. I've been wondering if the following thing is AS related? Ever since I met my boyfriend, I have not looked at another person (that is, not found another person to be slightly attractive). Whilst I can appreciate why others might find particular people attractive, the particular people do nothing for me. I think it is because I just consider them to be a body, a shell if you wish. They could be aesthetically pleasing, but besides that, nothing. Is this normal? I of course, do not find it a problem at all, but I think people think I am strange when I mention it.



muslimmetalhead
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07 Mar 2012, 7:25 am

Joker wrote:
Looks do have some importance in my opinon beauty is in the eye of the beholder I just like girls I guess you would say girl crazy im a good at reading social cues because one of my main interests are sexual behavior and body language once you get used to finding a way to read certin cues things will get easy



Hook me up with that.


Give me a list of books or whatever.



Tom5
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07 Mar 2012, 10:39 am

Looks matter for everyone, not just aspies.

There is also a evolutionary explanation for this as well. Humans equate being good-looking with being healthy so if your partner is healthy this means that your children will also be healthy.

Lets face it guys, if good looks did not matter to women at all, then I would already have a good-looking girlfriend but fact is I can't have one.



Comp_Geek_573
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08 Mar 2012, 12:35 am

Looks matter, but not a whole lot to me. It's nice if she's very good looking, but if I connect with her personally in a way I don't with most other people, feel like I can be myself (with all my social faux pas!) around her, and can discuss stuff with her I'm afraid to discuss with most other people, I'd still desire her romantically even if she were morbidly obese AND had acne! This would remain true no matter how good-looking or even socially skilled I were to become myself. The only appearance deal breaker to me is extreme masculinity (armpit hair, beard, etc.) Short hair is perfectly fine though, and I've even found lots of women with short hair to be very, very beautiful!!


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Embroglio
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08 Mar 2012, 12:40 pm

Looks matter for everyone. I couldn't date someone I'm not physically attracted to. If I don't find her physically attractive than it's not fair to me or her. It's not a sole requirement by any means I have to be attracted to her personality as well. But physical attractiveness is something that matters to everyone despite what they say.



sydeetoes
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08 Mar 2012, 6:20 pm

I sure don't. I wouldn't turn down a guy because he was attractive but for me it's only a small peice of the puzzle. I'm much more apt to be drawn to someone's intellectual capacity, sense of humor, and attentiveness. I like someone who makes me FEEL good...and it's an aspect of a person that's completely detached from their appearance. I'm just so darn awkward...I never know what to say and I get incredibly nervous if I value someone's opinion.



izzeme
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09 Mar 2012, 6:03 am

i'd like to say that looks dont matter to me, but i'd lie...
i will give anyone that comes up to me a chance (also partially becouse i dont have the luxury to be picky), but i know that i also look around, and if faced with a choice, all else being about equal, i would go for the better looking girl.
however, i have found out that my definition of 'looking good' and 'hotness' is quite different from that of most of my (NT) peers, so that might give off the illusion that looks dont matter to me



ValentineWiggin
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09 Mar 2012, 8:46 am

Couldn't care less about looks.


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09 Mar 2012, 9:34 am

sydeetoes wrote:
I sure don't. I wouldn't turn down a guy because he was attractive but for me it's only a small peice of the puzzle. I'm much more apt to be drawn to someone's intellectual capacity, sense of humor, and attentiveness. I like someone who makes me FEEL good...and it's an aspect of a person that's completely detached from their appearance. I'm just so darn awkward...I never know what to say and I get incredibly nervous if I value someone's opinion.


Well said, it's the person I'm attracted to, not the presentation.