Following the Weight bandwagon.

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Vote
I am a male and I prefer overweight women 3%  3%  [ 3 ]
I am a male and I prefer thin/curvy women 39%  39%  [ 35 ]
I am a male and I am indifferent regarding women's weight. 13%  13%  [ 12 ]
I am a female and I prefer overweight men 1%  1%  [ 1 ]
I am a female and I prefer thin/atheletic men 17%  17%  [ 15 ]
I am a female and I am indifferent regarding men's weight. 19%  19%  [ 17 ]
I am gay and I want to see the results. 8%  8%  [ 7 ]
Total votes : 90

HopeGrows
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28 Mar 2011, 11:22 am

Bethie wrote:
HopeGrows wrote:
Actually, physical attraction is physical attraction. Men tend to be more hard-wired in terms of the physical traits that arouse them, women are less so. The only problems I see are when people pass judgment on others for their preferences, when people lie to partners or prospective partners about what they like, or when people allow societal pressures to influence their choice of romantic partners. Unless someone is dating you, why would the type of person they're physically attracted to possibly matter to you?

Actually, emotions can cause someone to be physically attractive- both men and women get married to people who aren't their physical "ideal" because their feelings for that person MAKE them attractive.

And I don't know how you'd "disallow" societal pressures to influence your preferences as far as physical aesthetic, unless you lived in a prison cell...with no TV, or books, or magazines...or interaction with other people who might talk about their preferences....yeah. Society's immense psychological impact on the individual is not a conscious choice. Throughout history, the preferable aesthetic has been determined by the dominant ruling class- sometimes it was fat and pale because those were characteristics of a life of leisure in a time where most people had to slave in the fields in a feudal system, and likewise, now it's thin and tanned, because both are associated with the means to buy healthy food and vacation, whereas most (in America) are struggling to afford housing, let alone healthy food, gym memberships, and hours tanning. Both of those ideals were propagated by dominant class through the time period's art, literature, and health professions. Nothing new.

There's no "hard-wiring" of preferences, or at least very little. Likely only those DIRECTLY related to fertility or virility. (Hip to waist ratio, for instance.) Societal aesthetic whims constantly evolve, sometimes radically, given a holistic view of human history.

I don't think objections to preferences are made on a personal basis.
As far as this issue, in my experience, they result from a simple observation-
that the majority of women in the United States are at least overweight, if not obese,
that the majority of men prefer thin ones, and many even refuse to date or marry other women,
and unless said paradigm changes, such choices mean tens of millions of men and women are going to end up alone.

I think it's always a problem for a society when a nearly-universal "personal preference", especially one that's not a preference but a REQUIREMENT for many,
is a characteristic that's quite uncommon in some places and impossible to find in others.

@Bethie, I agree that people can become attracted to each other over time - however, that is a trait that is almost exclusive to women. I myself have fallen in love with guys who I was not attracted to when I first met them (however, I met them in a non-dating environment, where there was no pressure or expectation that I would become physically attracted to them). I got to know the guy, found out he was awesome, and I couldn't keep my hands off of him (after we started dating).

There has been research into why men don't particularly "become" attracted to women - they pretty much either want to nail them when they meet them, or they don't. The research I've read attributes this behavior to the idea that men are very "visual" - what they see, rather than what they hear, touch, think, etc., is the largest component of male physical attraction.

As far as not allowing societal pressures to influence your choice of romantic partner, I'd say that's all about character. @Frieslander started a thread recently in which he said (paraphrasing here) that he found himself quite attracted to a larger woman, but was not sure if he should pursue her because he was afraid of what his family and what "society" would think of him for being attracted to her. To me, that's an almost unthinkable quandary. If she seems like a nice lady, and you want to bang the shizzle out of her, why would you give a rat's ass about what anybody thinks of your choice of mate?

That's the kind of change I'd like to see. One man/one woman, seeing if they can build a relationship because they're crazy about each other - not because of what society thinks about the idea that they're crazy about each other. I'm not waiting on the world to change, until there's some seismic societal shift and all of a sudden men like larger women. There are plenty of beautiful, smart, kind, larger women who are sitting home at night. The idea that one of them might be sitting at home - because a guy who thinks she's hot but is too scared to date her because of what other people might think of him for thinking she's hot - is beyond irritating to me.

However, I don't think it's helpful to judge people for their preferences - it tends to make people hide them, or lie about them, or feel guilty about them - and that really doesn't help anyone. For example, here's @Grisha's statement about his preference for thin women:

Grisha wrote:
I am simply not attracted to overweight/obese people, I wish I didn't have this problem because they are a substantial majority of people these days.

I need someone who weighs less than me or is at least not too much more or I have to "friend-zone" them.

I am not proud of this.

http://www.wrongplanet.net/postxf155774-0-30.html

Here's a statement @Grisha made in this thread (to you) when he was challenged (by you, this time) about preferring thin women - because he called another poster "shallow" for not being attracted to very thin women:

Grisha wrote:
To be precise, I would friend zone someone I wasn't physically attracted to - and there are many variables besides weight involved in that...

Uh-huh. Except that he already said the issue is simple for him - he's just not attracted to overweight/obese women. He stated very clearly that weight is a reason to "friend-zone" a woman. Now clearly, he is not physically attracted to women who are not thin, but he runs away from that statement because.....it makes him seem shallow? Whatever the reason, IMO, it's much more harmful to lie about what you like, what you want, what you need than to tell someone there is just no spark. What woman wants to waste her time making an emotional investment in a man only to find out he's not really interested in her?

IMO, each person should love who they love, society be damned. If you let societal pressures prevent you from doing that, or you give yourself permission to lure a woman into a relationship when you truly have no romantic interest in her - you're not much of a man - or a woman, for that matter.


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Frieslander
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28 Mar 2011, 11:27 am

TeaEarlGreyHot wrote:
I see no "I'm bisexual and am indifferent to the weight of men and women I date" option. :-)


YEs, I was thinking of all the women (mostly women) and men I knew at alt.tv.xena.

HOw about

answers for straight women
answers for straight men
answers for bi women about women
answers for bi women about men
answers for bi men about men
answers for bi men abou men
answers for lesbians
answers for gay men

But I don't have the time or attention to make the survey righ now.

One guy on alt.tv.xena preferred thin guys but Rubenesque women.


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The_Face_of_Boo
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28 Mar 2011, 11:29 am

Wallourdes wrote:
For those in preference of short men:
Image



Very bad example, Tom Cruise is a celeb.



emlion
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28 Mar 2011, 11:31 am

and icky. D:
i hope he's not the poster boy for short men.



The_Face_of_Boo
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28 Mar 2011, 11:38 am

But he is somehow, every time when someone wants to give an example of a short man with romantic success , he/she mentions Tom cruise.

Still better than Napoleon.



Wallourdes
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28 Mar 2011, 12:03 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
But he is somehow, every time when someone wants to give an example of a short man with romantic success , he/she mentions Tom cruise.

Still better than Napoleon.


Post was not serious, hence the second picture.


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Lecks
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28 Mar 2011, 12:04 pm

I don't get it, Tom Cruise is 5'7", if this is considered short then many men in my family are miniscule.



emlion
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28 Mar 2011, 12:06 pm

what? is he that tall? really?



Lecks
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28 Mar 2011, 12:12 pm

emlion wrote:
what? is he that tall? really?

Unless google lied to me, yes he is.



emlion
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28 Mar 2011, 12:15 pm

Lecks wrote:
emlion wrote:
what? is he that tall? really?

Unless google lied to me, yes he is.


i feel mislead.
i was always under the impression he was like 5"1.



The_Face_of_Boo
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28 Mar 2011, 12:17 pm

Lecks wrote:
I don't get it, Tom Cruise is 5'7", if this is considered short then many men in my family are miniscule.


and so was Napoleon, he was 5'6.5 and so he wasn't considered short in his era.



Grisha
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28 Mar 2011, 12:32 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Lecks wrote:
I don't get it, Tom Cruise is 5'7", if this is considered short then many men in my family are miniscule.


and so was Napoleon, he was 5'6.5 and so he wasn't considered short in his era.


But Napoleon had a one inch penis - it's in a museum or something... :nerdy:



The_Face_of_Boo
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28 Mar 2011, 1:03 pm

Grisha wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Lecks wrote:
I don't get it, Tom Cruise is 5'7", if this is considered short then many men in my family are miniscule.


and so was Napoleon, he was 5'6.5 and so he wasn't considered short in his era.


But Napoleon had a one inch penis - it's in a museum or something... :nerdy:


That may explain why he was so obsessed with the canons.



emuman100
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28 Mar 2011, 1:21 pm

Bethie wrote:
My superhero alter ego is ACTUALLY The Vegan Vigilante,
who stabs her enemies in the eye with her Carrot of Truth.

Yeah, I have way too much spare time...


That cracked me up. I must say, that is very creative! :) Reminds me of mine when I was in 2nd grade, which was Electric Man.

emlion wrote:
I dunno. Maybe. I spent a lot of my time around 'tough guys' - maybe they tend to be taller or something. :roll: :lol:


I never understood why women like the "tough guys" or "bad asses". I got turned down and looked away many times for that. I guess us nerdy types don't stand a chance. Oh well, you can't please everyone. :)

HopeGrows wrote:
As far as not allowing societal pressures to influence your choice of romantic partner, I'd say that's all about character. @Frieslander started a thread recently in which he said (paraphrasing here) that he found himself quite attracted to a larger woman, but was not sure if he should pursue her because he was afraid of what his family and what "society" would think of him for being attracted to her. To me, that's an almost unthinkable quandary. If she seems like a nice lady, and you want to bang the shizzle out of her, why would you give a rat's ass about what anybody thinks of your choice of mate?


Luckily my family really doesn't care who I bring home, just as long as they are a good, respectable person. Although I remember once my supervisor from work and myself were hanging out at the bar that both of us frequent. A women came in with a beautiful pear shape, and I brought it to his attention that I liked what I saw, and he said "that's disgusting", because he liked thin, slender women. But I really could care less what anyone or my supervisor thinks if I like "disgusting" women. Just as HopeGrows said, if she's a good person, and we both want to bang the shizzle out of each other, I could care less what anyone thinks. If I can't please society by liking what everyone else likes, oh well.

Grisha wrote:
To be precise, I would friend zone someone I wasn't physically attracted to - and there are many variables besides weight involved in that...


There have been many women who I wasn't physically attracted to but over time became very attractive. I guess in most of those cases they gained weight, but, you have to give people a chance. Sometimes they can grow on you. :)

Wallourdes wrote:
And those in preference of boobs:
Image


LOL!! !



emlion
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28 Mar 2011, 1:22 pm

Quote:
I never understood why women like the "tough guys" or "bad asses". I got turned down and looked away many times for that. I guess us nerdy types don't stand a chance. Oh well, you can't please everyone.


I learnt from experience.
I stick to good boys now. :heart:
much better.



Bethie
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28 Mar 2011, 4:05 pm

Image

AWWWW, THEY'VE GOT BLUE FEET! !!


:D

I wish I had blue feet. They're so cool.



:(


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