A quick story

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So what if you've said some nice things about me. A few people on here have. It doesn't make it true. All you were doing was making up stuff to just make me feel better about myself. It's no different than what my grandma and her old hag friends say to me every once in a while.

I don't believe it's relevant how much time you've spent trying to help him. It's like saying you're allowed to smack your kids around because you bought them a bicycle.

However much MR20 annoys you, just know he is suffering 100x time as much. I don't think it's kind to kick someone while they're down. I understand if you are tired of dealing with him, but trying to make him feel worse about himself because you have failed to help him is petty and mean - in my opinion.

She didnt smack him around.
She just told him she has given up on trying to help him because he doesnt seem to be interested on a change and hearing about how hopeless he is isnt appealing to her.

We all have our own issues around here and we are trying to work on them so hearing someone go through their own issues without willing to listen to the advice provided is a hard thing to do for several members because they were at similar situations and they got out of them by working through their issues and seeing someone just give up on a similar situation is very hard for them.

It seemed mean to me. Like she was frustrated and wanted to lash out a bit. And if she is through trying to help him, why has she made two posts in this thread since then?

Anyway, I don't want to cause any conflict - really just try not to blame a sick person for being sick. That's all I wanted to get across.

as i suggested before, you should go and read my posts before you *try* to judge me. you really do not know the situation.

we can move this thread to The Haven if all he wants is to complain. if he wants actual assistance, people will try but most have stopped trying to help him when he disrespects them or disregards them (which he did to me again). except, of course, for the n00bs who have no clue about the history here.

do you think you are helping him when you call him a loser?

At least he's being honest, unlike some people.

And if you payed attention you would know that he used to post on here under a different name for a while in the past, so he's not a "n00b" like you claim.

YES! Because I am not calling him a loser to make him feel bad, I am agreeing with his assessment. What is his situation in life? What are his problems? These aren't all in his head, they are real and have real reasons. When I was posting on boards some years ago I wanted someone to level with me, rather than just toss out useless platitudes or telling me, "hey it's all your fault, what have you got to complain about?"

The reason I joined this board was because I saw someone with the exact same attitude I had, receiving the exact same responses I had received. I remember because they hurt alot.

From my own experience the only thing that has helped is medication. I have advised that several times, and hopefully he will eventually get to try it out. You ask how many times is he going to ignore your awesome advice? Well, how many times will it take you to realize your advice isn't helping him (and maybe isn't so awesome)?

what was his last username?

and i was being honest too.

Actually this is my first time posting on this board.

did i call it awesome advice? and your advice could be equally empty. no way to say as he hasn't taken action on any of it.

i have leveled with him. he is not a loser as you say. of course he wants to hear that from you as it will confirm his belief he is worthless. but that doesn't make it true.

funny that you are spinning this as though the good things i have told him about himself are somehow incorrect, yet the bad things you are telling him about himself are somehow correct.

idk

I remember him mentioning that as a poster he was similar to me and the community ran him out for some reason. I'm just paraphrasing. I tried looking through his history for the post, I didn't see it. He must have deleted it or something

I don't know how it can be thought otherwise than he is a loser. He has described himself as such. The fact he is posting the things he does on this forum is ample proof that he in unhappy.

You're right he hasn't taken up the advice yet. I only suggested the medication about a week ago, and soon after he admitted he may try it. I just want to reinforce my message. He won't try your advice because he CAN'T. Depression is crippling. It can make getting out of bed as impossible as traveling to the moon.

Also, I have never said I guarantee medication will help him. It has helped me, albeit slightly. I have also, with great sympathy, endorsed suicide. Not because I want him to "go away", but because I understand that to someone suffering death can be a great positive - moving someone from a negative to a neutral.

My main problem with some of the replies are those treating him as a nuisance. Or as a "problem" that needs to be "solved". Even though I blatantly approve suicide, I think of it as euthanasia. Those wanting him to "shape up or get out" are implicitly suggesting it would be better if he wasn't around.

Those who want him to just get better because they tell him to are missing the severity of the situation. If it was as easy as you make it out to be, he would have already done it. If there WAS a way out of the hell he's in he would have done it already.

I posted similar messages to your's on different forums. Except instead of "I can't get a girlfriend" it was "I can't *"
*Private

you also advocated suicide.

Yes! Maybe I didn't explain myself clearly.

I feel pity for him. I don't see suicide as a negative. He is unhappy now, and assuming we feel nothing once we are dead, he would erase his pain if he killed himself. He wouldn't feel good, or bad, just nothing.

BUT - he does not bother me. He can vent all he wants about how unhappy he is, about how miserable and useless he is, and I will take him at his word. I can accept him as he is. He doesn't irritate me, and I won't belittle his problems or emotional distress because he repeats them so much.

I want him to feel better but if he never does, I won't blame him for his own misery - and I won't tell him to stop complaining.

calling someone a loser is belittling them. also, i think that advocating suicide as a valid option is the ultimate belittlement.

and you've been here how long.... 2 weeks? are you going to stay on the board and keep on encouraging him on every thread he posts for as long as he is a member here? until you've put in some significant time on the board supporting him, your claim of acceptance is quite empty.