I got rejected and slapped hard in the middle of the hall.

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The idea is apparent to the observer, and if there isn't any data to back it up, there isn't any proof. The issue is that due current cultural notions about gender roles and society, that we can't much dissmiss, the idea becomes plausible, so I believe this can be a valid hypothesis. The problem is that you seem to dismiss it entirely, and not just because of lack of evidence, as we all can observe that this is an ideological reaction (does that rally matter? not really, but the accusation does), and rejecting the plausibility, confusing it with a hasty generalization, and I don't find evidence of a hasty generalization, I know you were accusing the poster of such, and the poster and the OP already replied to you explaining it. But of course, you dismissed it, which isn't a surprise.


True.



You put it simple, but the issue goes beyond that, I mean, it isn't surprising people confusing opinions with facts and the misinterpretation of what is supposedly a fact is not uncommon, such as you seem to believe (if you are honest) that the poster commited a hasty generalization fallacy, unless you state that it is only your opinion and not really a fact, but I doubt it somehow. So the problem is that even "what is a fact" is subjected to differing of opinion, when is done in informal discussions such as this forum, so we really don't go much anywhere with this, and your assertion doesn't do much for me. Not to mention on what is "reputable evidence", if this "reputable evidence" points towards feeding an idealistic bias, then it starts to become questionable. Sorry, but just I distrust, and strongly, activists and idealists.



1. There has been difference in opinion among readers on wether someone has been sexist or misoginist.
2. Identifying when X actually occurs or what is the intention of X has always been a problem everywhere
3. Ideological crap and confirmation bias
4. Political Correctness is a bit annoying.
5. Meh, we probably even shouldn't care.

Last edited by blunnet on 29 Jan 2012, 4:57 pm, edited 1 time in total.

i provide more evidence about topics than most other members in this subforum. can you provide any evidence for your assertions about women and flakiness? the onus is on you, not me, because you made the original argument.


if i am supposed to take your anecdotal accounts seriously, then... you would have to take mine seriously. since mine oppose yours i suppose you'd have to change your opinion once you take my "evidence" into account.



I sure hope this forum doesn't get any worse with people like you wanting to stop "sexism" from being expressed here.[/quote]
sexism is against the rules, so if you want to maintain a sexist environment you are out of luck.

i can see that this "debate" isn't going anywhere so i'm out.

i dismiss it because of lack of credible evidence. also, my own anecdotal observations run counter to what MCalavera asserted. therfore it cannot be said to be plausible.


what i am saying is that there is no credible information either way, so generalisations based on anecdotal "evidence" will be scrutinised and dismissed.

nobody's posts have been called sexist or misogynist on this matter, so it is curious indeed that you would say that. perhaps you are seeing something that isn't there, or at least drawing conclusions that are unfounded. it says an awful lot about how you are interpreting our posts, and very little to do with what has actually been stated.

nonethless, this is going in circles and is completely off-topic, so i'm out.

EDIT: fixed quotes

Last edited by hyperlexian on 29 Jan 2012, 6:17 pm, edited 2 times in total.

Just admit that you are wrong and we are right and we all will be happy, dancing and singing together.

You have to offer a reasonable justification for your dismissal of the plausibility or the entire dismissal, there isn't. Maybe you have a point when it comes to the culture of the place you live in, but when you go against a tendency, you have to consider the difference in values and gender roles in different cultures or areas. I didn't see you having made such consideration on the dismissal (with a defensive behaviour).


LOL, certainly there is a communication problem or something. But I shouldn't care, just that your position is absurd and just that.

Two main points: Political correctness is a pain in the ass, and you are stating an opinion that cannot be considered a fact, and what I mean is what triggered this crap.

I'm glad you are being understanding. It's amazing to me how many people, seem to get personally offended when I tell them that. Having children doesn't change the woman's worth as a person. It doesn't preclude me being her friend. The same is true of single dad's and their seemingly impulsive desire to go for girls much younger than themselves who probably have no interest in inheriting mommy duty so early in a relationship. I look at it realistically, some days, I can barely take care of myself. Maybe after a few years of being with some one, learning their ins and outs and quirks and foibles, I might be prepared to have a child, but I know I'm the wrong person to be thrown into the deep end with pre-existing ones.

I admit, that's the first time I feel someone is being interested in me, even the way she looks at me is nothing I've experienced before.

Yet yesterday was very cold to me, I've acted indifferent and now she messages me to tell me she misses me a lot.

One day ice, one day warm, one day distant, one day wants to dance.....

tell her you arent looking for 'i like you, i dont like you, i like you, i dont like you'. tell her if she wants to be consistent you are willing to give her a try. that might help, but certainly consider it.

She must like you a fair bit Boo to give you the hot and cold treatment.
Unfortunately this might be where it gets quite complicated. When I was a teenage boy without an ASD I couldn't figure any of it out, but I sort of can now. That hot cold thing can be a testing thing, and/or a non-verbal signal to you about expectations. And then she may misintepret your signals or lack thereof, because I assume your an Aspie?
Now I'm confused myself thinking about all of it

Anyway hows Lebanon? Its the land of my forbears, they came from Bsharri, but I've never been to Lebanon.

You need to make a move. Ask her out.

This hot-cold can't continue for long. She'll get frustrated with you and won't want to see you again.

She's being cold to you because she sees you being indifferent. A man needs to make the first move. Like it or not, that's how it is.

Erm good luck with this. I've been in this situation with girls before and have messed up the whole thing because it freaks me out.

I still haven't learned my lesson, it's very mysterious. But there seems to be something in what a lot of PUAs and other people say - that it's a test of your confidence and social status. A confident high status man would not be thrown by the test, whereas an unconfident low status man would. So I guess it makes sense to act like your not being emotionally effected or sidetracked by what she's doing, but make sure you still show some level of interest in her. (bear in mind I'm a disaster with this kind of thing. Just thought I'd offer my view as I've tried a lot to understand what this kind of behavior means in the past).

Dilbert, you forgot the initial post it seems. Let's sum up everything + new updates:

-I did my part, I did ask her out, I was the one who asked her first lol. She cancelled it on the morning.
-Then she invited me, it was cancelled the day before because her kids wanted her to take them to the park on sat (and naturally, she won't refute their request nor she can tell them yet why not to go)
-There were few nearby outings in between, but not in date form (group).
-Then this hot-cold thing started to take extreme forms. Today it was little cold including a vulgar-flirting with someone else in front of me - it wasn't nice ( Even it was just a potential casual relationship between us - I am the guy who asked her out after all and not yet officially rejected).
-She once commented something odd: "hope your body will be nice at summer". Now I was not sure how to interpret that, it was too odd, it sounded there's an appreciation in my effort, but it would also mean she's not finding me physically attractive at the time being (?). Lack of physical attraction == nothing.

I could tolerate everything except this vulgar-flirting thing, this was too much.

So I've made up my mind, I am gonna cut showing any interest and I wouldn't go back to this even if she attempts to drag me again somehow. I'll only reconsider if she goes back begging to me, refrains from excessively using these attempts of mind games, no jealousy-games and shows little more respect toward me.

I might be virgin, but I am far from desperate to degrade myself.



I was so anti-PUA, but damn....they were right about plenty of things.

Last edited by The_Face_of_Boo on 04 Feb 2012, 10:28 am, edited 4 times in total.

No, I ll stop the interest-showing thing altogether.

Boo, from what you've been describing about her, it isn't a woman you'd want to have a relationship with, just a fling.

Good women don't act the way she does, regardless of what PUAs say. Although I agree PUAs are spot on on a lot of this stuff, much better than hyper feminists could ever get right.

Even a broken clock will tell you the right time twice a day. Does that mean theres no point on changing it?

On topic Im not anti PUA since I think that there are some good books if you are willing to look into what they are saying with an open mind and without trusting them blindly. but I believe some of the mainstream stuff is based on degrading females and there are better books on how to act socially that will give you more success than those. However as they are not targeted to deperate males their sales number is much lower and you have to look around to find this books

Another thing about PUA is that most authors assume that it always has to work if it doesnt work you are not doing right. Im sorry but not everyone can pull of the same kind of technique and theres no method that will work on every female out there(the last one is just common sense)

I didn't get what this analogy has anything to do with this, can you elaborate spongy?