creepy guys have such confidence

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No, it isn't just men who do evil things... but the statistics are not good for men. Men are simply far more prone to angry, emotional, physically violent outbursts than women are, and because of their size and fondness for firearms, are more likely to cause lots of damage to people when they have those outbursts.

To me, what makes a guy 'creepy' is the sense that he wants to masturbate on my body, with no regard for the fact that I'm a human with wants or desires of my own. To a creepy guy, I'm just a glorified blow-up doll.

that, like all the things youve said here is a two way street

Are there women who treat men like glorified dildos? At least, in significant numbers? I don't see women paying for sex (for example) as much as men do, and I don't see women treating men like sexual objects IRL very often. Men /do/ get the short end of the stick in dangerous situations, sort of expected to go out and risk themselves in a way that women in general are not, but that's not a big part of everyday life any more.

Women can do that too, use someone for sex
Has happened to me

I compare humans to geese now....
Down the duck pond, some females have had an eye pecked out by their husbands [probably] and probably during sex....
many have feathers missing and some have head scars.
These wounding and blinding 'husbands' are often the larger and aggressive and most dominant within the family groups.
Apes are the same, humans used to be/still are too

Embarrassing to be a man when you look at domestic violence in nature.

Last edited by Surfman on 26 Nov 2012, 1:38 am, edited 2 times in total.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/06/20/vacation-sex-40-percent-o_n_1613394.html
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2161003/More-40-women-30-admit-having-night-stand-holiday.html?ITO=1490

Last edited by BlueMax on 26 Nov 2012, 1:39 am, edited 1 time in total.

Courts and the legal system are usually WAY more lenient with women that commit statutory rape. Even though they pretend like the law is the same for men/women.

yes there are, if anything just as many. Plenty of women using sex as validation for themselves and others. not for wh the other person is. Women pay for sex less often cause lets face it, its easier to find. On the risk part, modern societies types of crimes aare probably much more fair to the sexes than the mating rituals are.

Guys, I'm not talking about sex for the sake of sex; I absolutely agree that women like to have sex just for fun, too. One-night-stands can be lots of fun for both people, if they cooperate with each other to make it a mutually enjoyable experience.
I'm talking about using another person as a sexual object, as if their pleasure and enjoyment of the exercise has about as much import as whether or not you accidentally pop your blow-up doll.

It is true men are far more likely to commit violence, and tend to do far more damage when they do. I admit this, and am ashamed of my gender for it.

But there are a few things that bother me about the way discussions of male violence are framed, especially around here.

The first is that there tends to be a lack of recognition that the men commiting these acts are a very small minority. The only reason that minority of men get away with what they do, and are able to victimize as many as they do (and notice they are almost always repeat offenders, even though the number of victims is shamefully high, the number of perpetrators is lower than most would think) is because they are so good at hiding their actions and coercing their victims into doing the same. There are far far more men out there who would, if given the opportunity, put themselves in harms way in order to protect a woman than there are men who would do harm. Only, the truly good men (who I think make up the vast majority) rarely get the opportunity to show it and, when they do, it rarely receives any recognition.

While I agree entirely that male violence is an issue that needs to be addressed, I think that protective instinct defines men as a whole far more than does the aggressive instinct, and I think that it deserves a place in the discussion.

Just as women here get frustrated when certain men apply the negative characteristics of a few to all women, men here get frustrated when we feel lumped in with the evil minority. While there certainly are some posters who do recognize that, not all do, and even the most reasonable sometimes seem to forget when the discussion gets heated. This is a mistake both genders on this board make. I really think 99% of the ill feelings around here would go away if, whenever people typed the words "women" or "men," they remembered to add "some" or "not all."

The second thing is that, while most men (I think) would acknowledge that it is men who commit most violence, there seems to be little acknowledgement that we do not commit all of it. That is, it is a sad fact of human existence that some people will, when given power over others, abuse that power in horrific ways. When it comes to physical power, and therefore the ability to use violence, men are at the top of the heap. And (again, shamefully) far too many use it (even the very small minority that they are is far too many). But we bring up the instances women abuse the power that they have in order to demonstrate that that is a trait common to all humanity, and not one limited to males as often seems implied.

Which brings me to the third thing, which is that physical power is not the only kind of power. That is, physical violence is not the only way in which one person can hurt another. Sometimes not even the worst. Men often bring up paternity issues, and it always seems to end in a more hostile discussion. I'd like the women here to forget about which side is right and which wrong for a moment (actually, I'd like everyone to forget about it permanently, but that seems unlikely) and just try to put themselves in men's shoes.

It's not really an issue most women have to put any real thought into, given that they are the ones who actually carry the child. But imagine not knowing for certain that your child is actually yours. Imagine actually finding out that they are not, after you've raised and bonded with them. Imagine knowing a child is yours, but having no opportunity to be his parent and having no legal recourse because you cannot prove it. Imagine having your children taken from you in a divorce (and lets not be naive enough to think that, no matter how the law is written, the actual judges don't show an extreme bias in favor of mothers), only to see them every other weekend at most, while having it constantly rubbed in your face that the only worthwhile contribution you can make is financial. Imagine your children growing up to resent you for your absence in their lives when, in reality, you spent their entire childhood fighting in the courts for more opportunities to see them.

These are the things men have to worry about. I can't speak for anyone else, but I've taken a serious ass-kicking or two and found it far preferable to the part of that that I've had to deal with.

Anyway, I'm not trying to deny the very valid complaints that women, as a group, have against men, as a group. Just trying to promote some understanding. And the only side I'm in any position to do that for is the male one.

Last edited by mds_02 on 26 Nov 2012, 3:16 am, edited 5 times in total.

Yeah, women do that too. I don't know how many, because it's seen as unmanly to complain about getting any sex at all, but they do. And just because they don't have to pay for it like men do doesn't mean they don't treat their "partners" the same way.

men are conditioned by ongoing images from the screen
how many ordinary guys imitate their hollywood archetypes?

2 and a half men anyone? sex and the city?

the law is designed to offer the child the least possible disruption after the separation. it's in the child's best interests to have minimal disruption. so whichever parent took care of the child the most beforehand is the one that takes care of them the most afterward. i don't know why it would be any different. if parents want it to be equal time after separation, then they should be caring for the child equally before the separation. the courts are basically just continuing the exact same arrangement that the parents had already agreed upon themselves. if it's unfair AFTER, why wouldn't it be unfair during the marriage?

^^^ I hope you're not implying that I was absent in my role as a parent. I think I've already told the story of how I handled childcare from the moment they woke up, (minus ~8h to work full-time) then again from the moment I got home to the time I sang them to sleep.

During those 8 hours, she did little more than feed them lunch. Once the kids were asleep it was up to me to clean the mess she left behind while she went to sleep for 12 hours.

By that definition parenting should STILL be joint and equal.

Last edited by BlueMax on 26 Nov 2012, 4:36 am, edited 1 time in total.

continuing the exact same arrangement usually means dad gets to come home to his children
and wake up and eat breakfast with his children

if one parent worked and the other stayed home, the one that stayed home will be the one who has primary custody. if they want to have other arrangements after the separation, they have to have other arrangements prior to the separation. the purpose of that is to minimise disruption to the children. you seem to frame it as you getting screwed over by the system, but in fact it is intended that way for the best interests of the children. if you had wanted to be the custodial parent, the point at which to put that in place would have been prior to the separation.