Feeling ugly, flat chested and that I'm not good enough

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Dear OP,

As a universal thruth, (psychoanalytically) the first thought any man will have about any woman he see's the first time is sexual. It's hard-wired into us. This includes Beyonce's or Kim kaderdashian's husband, and this include all the other man checking you out. Of course this urge can be repressed, and one can succesfully cancel out having thoughts on other woman, but noticing them is unavoidable.

Ow & my ex gf couldn't integrate / meet standards of residence & had to move back to the other side of the planet after 2 years of struggle brutally ending our future - peeps don't know what real drama is.

I really think you're making a mountain out of a molehill. Men check out women; it doesn't mean he doesn't care about you.

I think you need to deal with your self-esteem issues without putting the blame on your boyfriend. He wouldn't be with you if he didn't find you attractive, so stop worrying about the relationship. Your issues with your body are your own problem, not his. You are responsible for your lack of self-esteem, not him.

I'd say its not a problem of Aspie women, but of women in general. I'm a NT, and only a very small number of women I know are confident about how they look.
I have small breasts myself and I was very very sensitive about that at school, cause all of my friends got womanly figures and I looked like a stick in comparison so them, and my thin body constitution was something people would comment all the time, well, it still is.
But at some point of my life (was 22 or so) I realised I was meant to be this small, thin AND yet attractive creature, and men like me as I am. Yes, I don't wear very deeply cut-out clothing that often, a fuller breast would be more flattering for that, but I can wear anything I like mostly, I can eat whenever I want ad whatever I want, which is quite a problem for my curvy girlfriends.
Men will always look at other womens bodies, thats just how it is-they see a pretty girl and look at her, the same do we when we see an attractive guy (well at least I do so)! !! But that doesn't mean you are not attractive for your boyfriend and he wants to trade you for a fuller-busted girlfriend. There is no other way to overcome your worries than to start seeing you from another perspective.
Its not big breasts that make you beautiful, but your attitude towards you - sounds cheesy, but it is true. I can witness the change of attitude about myself has changed my life drastically to the positive side.

Women check out other men too, they are not as blunt about it though.

@Dantac I did explain it to him. I was kind of thinking out loud to him and realized it.

@Chooty I know but I meant I thought all straight guys will leer at a woman with bigger breasts, fantasize about how much better hers are than mine, and go home and always masturbate and fantasize about her instead of wanting to be with me - or worse, shut his eyes and pretend I'm her instead when we make love.

I... don't think guys generally fantasize about woman X while having sex with woman Y, that only happens in movies I guess...

It's good that you noticed that this isn't true. I hope that you keep this event in mind so you can work on your body image and self esteem.

I'm speaking from experience here: I had the same body image issues a couple of years ago when I was around your age. It wasn't small breasts, more so being really jealous of other women or finding meaning in comments that were meaningless. It nearly drove my boyfriend away. I had to stop pinning my self esteem issues on him or he would go crazy. So, yeah from experience, please work on it. It's no fun for your partner to be walking on eggshells.

Some of the hottest girls I have ever seen have small tits. I prefer small to fake.

For what it's worth, I think breasts are overrated, and I'm a little repulsed by bigger ones. I find small to flat to be very beautiful to my eye. The first (and only) woman I ever kissed and made out with, was rather flat chested, but so sexy and beautiful, and her great intelligence and emotional maturity only made those assets even more enticing.

Women well endowed physically, I find tend to be less interesting intellectually, because they've managed to get by on looks without having to develop much in the way of deeper thought processes.

Traditional beauty has it's own price.

Let's keep in mind that a man would never form an attraction to specific woman, if he was not generally attracted to women. And, a woman would never be able to form a focused attraction on any individual man, unless she was generally attracted to men. Simply because an individual, be that individual a man or woman, becomes involved in a bonded relationship, does not mean that their general attraction to the other gender will go away. In a good relationship, the focused attention between the partners overrides the attractions for others. That's actually a good thing, because if we formed only one bonded relationship in our life and lost the general attraction to the opposite sex, there would be no way to recover from a lost relationship. Over the years, I've had bunches of girlfriends. If after my first girlfriend I'd lost my ability to be attracted other women, I'd have missed out on a lot. And, I mean a lot. So the bottom line is our general nature allows us to focus in on a specific relationship, which is a very, very good thing.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=p ... dZfszK3qLI

That's funny

This is absolute BS.

@Who Am I I agree with him somewhat. There are beautiful women who do that, as well as men, but not ALL of them. I consider myself pretty (and get regular compliments from guys) except for my breasts, and I refuse to take advantage of that. I can't speak for some girls from my high school though.

Except he didn't say "some women". He just presumed that any large-breasted woman would be someone "intellectually uninteresting" who's managed to coast through life on the basis of everyone meeting her drooling over her chest.