Look out! It's a Nice Guy! DESTROY HIM!!

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[quote="Who_Am_ICould it be that your Asperger's causes poor social skills, and that since romantic relationships are some of the most complex social interactions you'll find...[/quote]

Quoted for truth.

Focus on "romantic" + "relationship" and you'll begin to understand... Nice isn't part of the criteria.

I disagree. It's just not enough on its own.

See, finally someone who is able to tell the actual truth instead of twisting around the pot.

Like acting all tough and confident will bring you far at all while being nothing more than a scrawny 5"7 140 pounds adult guy with an unappealing face packed with it who is not even able of doing 30 pushups for example.

It's not about how you feel mentally or how you act, it's about what you have to offer physically and on other aspects other than behaviour I noticed.

Last edited by Uprising on 26 Jul 2013, 3:09 am, edited 1 time in total.

I work on construction sites with people using 10 different languages, and with a bit of goodwill we are all able without problems to built complete trainstations and airports that way. If you have problems, understanding basic posts, when they are not written 100% perfect in your origin language, I think the problem about you not being able to understand what people want to say, is less about understanding. Specially when that problem suddenly always occurs on your side, when you are writing some "not an fact relying"-tales and get faced with a post, proofing that. ^^

You know what...

Do you recall the girl I dated recently for 3 hours straight in the mall - it was the first time I see that mall so I didn't know the place there, I said 'yes' or 'ok no prob' (because I really had no prob with her suggestions) to all the place she suggested to see.
Halfway the date she told me 'jokingly' "you seem you do everything the lady tells you" - I was like "huh? if that what you think then I choose the next place", but the first impression was already made.

I need to keep in mind to lead things next time. :S

Women are apes in dating
(well, all humans are apes).

And oh, the nice male ape gets eaten fast in the wild.

You didnt say that, because thats what I said. I didnt think you need to be told, what was your post and what was my post. Thats the post of you I responded " and that I have quotened correctly, without changing anything as you blamed.

And to end the misundertanding, you maybe could simply explain how you meant it? So all possibilities that came to my mind, got responded by you, "No, thats also not the way I meant it."

This is the quote, exactly as you wrote it, without changing, and as you are 100% correct I suggested it to mean that you want woman either to decide what they want to be "free, valuable objects, or a middle point" The or would mean that they shall decide for one of that options as I first suggested, and you denied.

So I ask you again: Why shouldnt it be possible to decide on your own, what you want to be? Why is it not possible for humans to decide if we want to be a middlepoint, and not possible for another human to decide to want to be free? And if this is only the problem with woman, so what have men decided to want to be? So according to you, as a human you are not allowed to want different things, so what have you men decided that you want to be? As I think you are a men, so you should have been there at that meeting, where you all decided what you want to be, because of according to you, it not being possible to want different things as long as you have the same sexual organs?



Nope you did not ask specific. I think you simply asked the complete wrong ways, because of not understanding the basic element of an relationship. To give you an example: What you asked was "What do I need a good friend for. What benefit do I have from calling my best friend and him coming over here." - And the right answer to it: "The benefit you have from that is spending time with your best friends. So he himself, and the person that he is, is the benefit you get." While what you meant to ask was: "What benefit do I have from an random person coming over to my place." And I agree, that the answer "The person itself and his personality." is not the right answer to that, because a random strangers personality in your house is rarely a benefit.

I thought you would understand your own question, and dont mean it as a blame. But the question you meant was: "What benefit do I have from a random woman living with me." And the answer to it is the same answer I would have for myself if I was questioned what benefit I would have from a male random stranger living at my place. Absolutly none. Its just like with a good friend. A stranger has as well arms and legs, is an human, has an personality...but whyever, while you are not happy, when a stranger suddenly comes into your room and starts talking to you, with your best friends he enters the room and you are more happy. Whyever your best friend has a link to you, that a stranger simply dont have. And it isnt something specific as well, because what makes your best friend the person you like so much and that you enjoy spending time with him, can as well make him in the eyes of another person to someone, that they dont want to share time with. So there is nothing specific you can point on. The only thing is, that in the end, the presence and the contact with your best friends makes you happier and enrichens your life. And thats why he is your best friend. And the benefit you have from an relationship partner is the same. You dont get a benefit from spending time with "a" man or "a" woman. But you have a benefit from spending time with special persons you really like, not out of specific things, but simply because of them being them and the way they are. When your best friend comes, the only benefit you get is your best friend coming. And with an relationship partner its the same.



Yop, it is an historical and proofable fact that women couldnt choose who they want to marry, and simply were ownage. Oldest written recordings about that are in the old testament. Is it machism to tell the historical fact that first worldwar started 1914? Does I automatically blame men for it, when mentioning that first worldwar started 1914? Did I blame anyone for it? I simply said that the reason why woman WERE upmarried is pretty easy, because of them being owange. If you want to sell your car, you try to get as much money for it as possible. Where exactly did I blame you for that, and exactly where should I have written, that men would deserve not empathy because of that? You wrote that woman would have upmarried for centuries, and I simply wrote that its historical not correct, because of woman GOT upmarried, because of them being economical ownage, that you normally try to have the best profit. Why is it machism, when I sell my car, to the person, offering me the most benefits for it? O_o

Last edited by Schneekugel on 26 Jul 2013, 3:31 am, edited 2 times in total.

I don't agree with Schneekugel points of view and sometimes I can become warm blooded in debates. But there's a difference between hot-blooded and personal attacks. I support completelly Schneekugel here. Personal attacks are out of the line. Shame on you, Shau.

I gotta say, I can hardly understand, why we are becoming so warm blooded. About that "woman shall decide what they want." I think its the same about men. You as well wouldnt want to be a certain way, only because of you having a penis. There are men that want the classic family role and there is nothing bad about that. And there are men that want to do new ways, thats also not bad. Men simply want different kind of things, simply because all of them being different, and all need other things to live a happy live. Men as well dont like it to be pushed into a certain role. I dont know why you got so warmblooded, when I simply wanted to explain, that its nothing else with woman. Different woman want different things, because of them simply being different. And sure there are some, that are really weird with the stuff that they want, but thats not all woman, just as not all men have weird expectations on their partners.

Sure it has become more complicated for all of us, because of that, because in earlier time, when there was ONE role for woman and ONE role for man, there were written rules for how to engage in relationships, and what was expectated of you. So you didnt need to guess for that, as you have to do know. Its for me the same, when meeting a boy, so one may want to find a girl focusing on the classic role, one may want to have a girl that is as well his best friend, one may want to have a "lifestyle"-girl he can use as status symbol like his car...." Ok, its more complicated now. But we are simply as well more free all together. I simply dont want to be told, that because the majority of woman had decided that they want to want "that", when "that" is not what I want. Just like there are boys happy, not to be forced anymore to start working until exodus, so they can built a house, so they "are allowed" to ask for a girl at the girls father place and and and...

And there are stupid man as well, because of them being human, just as stupid girls, that simply want everything, every benefit they can get. But thats not because of them being man or woman, but simply because of them being dumb and lazy and ignorant, and so they simply dont care for their partners, and are only interested in having as much benefits as possible. Definitly that kind of persons sucks. I agree with you. But thats simply because of them being dumb individuals.

And I do understand that it suck for affected persons. Most of my friends are boys, and half of them has no girlfriends, but would like one and have problems because of them being geeky. I am not happy about that, because of them being my friends, and I dont like them to be sad about it. And I dont understand as well, why its so hard for them, because they have propper jobs, they have their own flats, they are really nice guys, if not I wouldnt like spending time with them. But blaming or being aggressive wont help that. I´d like them to have girlfriends, and I definitly think that a girl that "dared" to be with them would be happy, just as I am happy with my partner. But I cant walk out, seek a random girl and put a chain around her neck and carry her to my friends. The best thing that we can do, is having really happy relationships with our partners, showing other girls that those typical prejudices about geeks and relationships, are simply nonsense. Thats the best thing we can do.

But simply blaming all woman, wont help, because even I get aggressive by that. I dont want to be blamed for some other girl, just as you wouldnt like a woman, that blames you for stuff another guy has done.

And Sorry, when I didnt understand your questions about "What you get with an partner." But as I said, its simply nothing you can specificly explain. I simply come home, done from work and traffic, and then there is my partner saying "Hi!" and you feel lucky to be with that person now. Thats what I get from my partner. He simply is the very, very, very best friend I have. And again this would be lying, because I know of woman, that told me, that for them a partner needs to be something else then "their best friend", so they need someone they can look "up", someone that is more like a father-guy. So in general I´d simply say, you simply get someone whose presence makes you more happy. And why you become more happy whn that person is around, simply depends on you and the person that you are.

The one thing I hate about Nice Guys is their mentality of thinking they are entitled to sex just by being nice to a girl and get mad when the girl just remains friends with them instead of getting it on and then they get really upset at those girls and other guys who are actually successful calling them jerks. Almost like if they think they are in some sort of movie or video game, though life is not like that, it is all improv.

They are usually extremely bitter and often end up being all misogynistic when it comes to girls oblivious to the fact that they are the ones that are the jerks. Related terms are Loveshies and Pick-up artists (what they desire to be but lack the charisma)

Nice guys are often depicted in the media by wearing fedoras, sporting a neckbeard, leather trench coats, My Little Pony or anime or some sort of video game that has an crazy fandom. They are depicted as liking to hang out on sites like Reddit or 4chan.

Although this is obviously a stereotype and doesn't always apply to every Nice Guy, there is some truth to this since what I described is usually a desperate attempt to look attractive and obviously failing. Fedoras have pretty much became an iconic symbol of Nice Guyness over the past year.

Nice girls also exist too, most people consider Taylor Swift to be a female example since she rarely blames her break ups on herself in her songs, if ever, even "Trouble" is kind of back-handed because all it does is that it says she is naive and still paints the guy as a jerk its very back-handed.

Nice guys that are hot and confident at the same time shouldn't be killed, they should be cloned.

Perhaps women would like twenty of them at the same time in a large room, just waiting to satisfy them.

Actually, no, that would be unbelievably creepy.

See, you can't be walking on clouds when your appearance makes 80% of the world population nauseous, that's what many people here don't understand.

Nah, one hot sweet nice guy is enough for me

Believe me, you can find people who find you attractive. It can scare you and creep you out, especially if you don't really know them well.

Some people don't have that advantage sadly enough, but I guess an attractive personality can help a guy a lot in some cases.

~sigh~

With effort I can decipher what you're saying, but if you can't go to the bother of previewing your post to make sure it's presentable first, I'm not really going to bother with all that effort. It takes 10 seconds...I'll happily take the extra time to read what you have to say when I'm NOT drudging through a mangled post first.



I've had more graceful moments, but it was more a criticism of her not taking the time to proofread her post rather than making some sort of serious personal attack. I'll edit my post.