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I'm sorry!
Are you disappointed?

LOL, no, I am keen to avoid heart attacks at my age. Are you going to send me that non saucy thing or what?

But aren't heart attacks good for rebooting the system? Lol

No but yeah.. whenever I muster up the courage to open your reply LOL... I've been avoiding it cuz I'm afraid..

OMG is this world made up of loons? What could I possibly say that could possibly mess up your life either way? Don't be a child LOL

The problem of the unavailability of hot potentials in your area is probably only in your heads, ladies.


Every woman I met on okcupid think less of the guys of her own country and always think that guys abroad are better, and this is really funny that even local women think so.

Last edited by The_Face_of_Boo on 25 Jan 2014, 5:07 pm, edited 1 time in total.

^ Most people are a sucker for exoticness (which in this context means not familiar). But seriously, I really do not find English men attractive physically, but they tend to be the most emancipated.

You are just seeking for reasons to die alone.

That's basically because you are a male, and Yuzu is a female, Yuzu has more dating options than you on okc hence why she can add unimportant requirements and list them as VERY IMPORTANT quantification of compatibility to filter out candidates. You can't afford such pickiness but she can.


What bunniffator said:

Filtering someone out based on their music taste makes as much sense to me as filtering someone out based on their favorite color; that is, neither makes sense because I don't see how it relates to romantic compatibility (for me).

It's irrelevant of my gender and would still be irrelevant even if women outnumbered me 100 to 1; I don't want a relationship with someone who is identical to me in every like and dislike. I want a large basis of similarity regarding core values, with very high emphasis on honesty and loyalty and all of that good stuff that really matters, but also a recognizable pool of differences to learn about and expose each other to new tastes and perspectives; I've little desire to date an exact female version of myself.

I used to think musical tastes were very important. Having had the best relationship of my life with someone who really was not at all interested in music has changed my mind. But then, I no longer am as involved in music as I used to be - I used to spend a lot of time going out and listening to live music. As I've gotten older, the crowds, the loudness, and my inability to drink (which allowed me to relax so that I could "mingle" better) have made it to where I don't enjoy it much at all anymore.

Also, I have not, as a rule, found men in other countries to be more attractive than the ones here. It's true that I've found higher percentage matches in the UK and the rest of western Europe, but because I like the casual, outdoorsy types, I do tend to find American men more physically attractive (although a lot of them are in Canada).

Music happens to be my special interest. Listening to music and going to concerts are my favorite things to do and I feel happiest when I talk about the music I like. If I'm going to be in a relationship I certainly would like to find someone who I can share that with.
It may seem unimportant to you guys but it is very important to me. Don't you wish to find someone whom you can share your special interests with? If you're aspies it shouldn't be so hard to understand this. How do you guys intend to spend time with your significant other if you have nothing in common?

That's interesting. I'm wondering now how many people with ASD would want their partner to share their special interest. I don't have special interests so I can't relate to this at all. I have interests, and if I share them with my partner I guess that's cool but they are things I'm already doing, by myself or with other people, so how my partner fits into that is kind of irrelevant - they can join in if they want (and if it's appropriate), and not if they don't.


Not sharing a special interest isn't the same as having nothing in common, unless this special interest is the ONLY thing you are interested in. I have a number of interests, chances are my partner would enjoy at least one or two of them. Most people enjoy doing the same sort of typical stuff...there's a bit of compromise that happens along the way (when one person is more interested than the other in the particular activity), but generally you just "do stuff together", not "do particular things together that you are really passionate about". That's how I see it anyway. It's about enjoying each others' company, so it shouldn't matter so much WHAT you are doing.

that's the thing about special interests is they often are, in fact, the dominant interest a person has. They nag at you when you would rather be productive and overshadow the enjoyment of more mundane tasks. Think of a special interest as being almost involuntary like an ocd compulsion that causes stress when left unattended and offers a 'high' while you are doing whatever it is.

So, perhaps, if your partner isn't interested in your special interest, they become a "more mundane task" and aren't that great to be around? Am I understanding it correctly?

Maybe that's my problem. I don't feel a deeper connection if I can't share my special interest (certain genre of music) with that person.
I go to concerts alone and always wish I was with someone... Maybe all I want is a gig-buddy.



Yes.

I wouldn't say that, in fact they become a new special interest. It is very hard to explain and I don't think that I have "special interests" to the level that others on these forums do and so I may have an imperfect understanding. I'm trying to find a way to explain it but I cant formulate it coherently so let me just say that you are taking the wrong conclusions.

When I was in college I was addicted (which is slightly different from a special interest) to playing "Eve Online" and spent around 5 hours a day playing but if the girl I liked had told me to stop I would have instantly. Both are subconscious motivations. Love is largely driven by biology and the subconscious, but so is special interest and it can be impossible to prioritize. For me, being away from my gaming would have been stressful and make it harder to enjoy "E's" company. But being away from "E" for an extended period of time would make it harder to enjoy gaming as well. The problem is that most special interests cannot decided they don't like you and are always available but a lover requires additional energy to maintain and it can be easy to allow yourself to take the path of least resistance/stress. EDIT: I will say that if she had wanted to participate in my interest with me I would have not needed as much time to myself to pursue it without feeling rude ignoring her while she was in the room to pursue it.

Last edited by buffinator on 25 Jan 2014, 7:33 pm, edited 1 time in total.