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Dating in your 30s

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AspieOtaku
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20 Feb 2016, 11:05 am

esoterica181 wrote:
Yeah, it's easy to feel lonely in a place with so much going on all the time and people who are going out. I felt the same way in college but way worse.
Im single and um happen to live in the SF Bay area. :oops:


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yellowtamarin
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20 Feb 2016, 9:38 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
I am starting to believe that it's true that women generally become less picky with age.

That probably explains why I find it easier to date women in their 40s.

Could be true. Personally I'm more picky with age in the sense that I'm more clear about what I want/need. But what I want and need has changed, so I'm dating people I probably wouldn't have been interested in when I was younger. So it could be a mixture of some being less picky and some changing their taste which makes your qualities more appealing to them.



WantToHaveALife
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23 Feb 2016, 3:13 am

ya, sadly I met a guy recently, who is about to turn 35, yup, 35, and he has never had a girlfriend before, 7 years older than me, why do I have the feeling that will be me in 7 years.



JohnPowell
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01 Mar 2016, 4:59 pm

WantToHaveALife wrote:
ya, sadly I met a guy recently, who is about to turn 35, yup, 35, and he has never had a girlfriend before, 7 years older than me, why do I have the feeling that will be me in 7 years.


It definitely will be with that attitude. If you didn't have bad luck, you wouldn't have any at all right?


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01 Mar 2016, 7:53 pm

sunnchipie wrote:
Finally, a post I can relate to.
Im also 32. Im pretty sure any of you could get a woman. Getting a woman you like might be an issue
Is this a case of our expectations are too high?
If we were perceived as being normal, we'd probably be able to attract the right woman but due to being odd we need to set our sights lower and were not prepared to do that?
I don't know.
It sounds like the crux is, we don't meet enough women. In my case, the number is probably 0 in ten years.
I purposely put myself in situations were I wont meet anybody, even going out my way if there is a chance I might have to communicate with the opposite sex.
My work as a plumber means I go into peoples homes and communicate with customers but that's about it. The check out girl at the supermarket but even theyre becoming scarce with all these automated check outs theyre bringing in!
Granted money is an issue but I feel im fairly average in that respect.
It all depends on your expectations I suppose and were all different. If we socialised a lot more im sure most of us would see an increase in our chances and it wouldn't take more than a year to see the fruits of our painful excursions!
Im just not quite ready to do anything about it just yet!
Blimey, what crap am I posting here...


What is to say normal women are the 'right' women for guys on the spectrum or who don't fit into the norms though...why would pursuing women who also aren't typical/normal be 'setting your sites lower'. The issue then is there are more normal/typical people than not so it can be difficult finding the other outliers among all the normal, but not impossible.

I never saw the idea of attempting to look for guys who don't quite fit the norm was akin to setting my sites lower.

Of course if one has the attitude anything different than an ordinary typical woman, is settling for less they likely will put more effort into changing for the normal ones or hoping to get lucky with one.


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WantToHaveALife
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17 Mar 2016, 10:46 pm

JohnPowell wrote:
WantToHaveALife wrote:
ya, sadly I met a guy recently, who is about to turn 35, yup, 35, and he has never had a girlfriend before, 7 years older than me, why do I have the feeling that will be me in 7 years.


It definitely will be with that attitude. If you didn't have bad luck, you wouldn't have any at all right?


ya oh well, it is what it is



MarbleRye
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18 Mar 2016, 2:11 am

I only started trying to date in my late 20s. I had girls interested in me when I was in school, but school was a lot to deal with and so I never pursued any relationships. If someone had told me that after I finished school I'd have no relationship prospects then I probably would've tried dating earlier. I've been on a handful of dates from using online dating sites. Nothing has materialized and I don't really have a feeling that there's someone out there for me, but I have to admit that I haven't been as active as I could have. I will try harder this year and see how I do before I decide to give up on the dating scene. I really don't even like dating, I'd rather try and get to know someone through shared activities or group settings, but dating seems like a necessary evil.



noumena
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19 Mar 2016, 6:04 am

I'm in the same situation as you guys, kind of. I haven't tried to date for the last 4 years, but recently now that my life has settled down some and I've matured, I've been interested in trying to find someone. 4 years almost feels like an eternity to me. Maybe I've become too mature in that time and what I use to look for is no longer what I want, so it is harder to find what it is that I do want now. I don't know how I did it, but I dated a lot of women when I was in my 20s, I also wouldn't even want to date those kind of women again now though. I'm not even really picky, I just want something that is meaningful with that real strong connection. It would be a waste for me at this point in my life to settle for less than that. I live in a much smaller town than I use to live in my 20s, I'm sure that plays a huge factor. I very much so plan on moving in the next few years to give myself some better odds. Dating sites seem to have gotten a lot worse over the years also. I'm not desperate or in a rush so it is kind of just whatever for now. I know it takes time, it is just that as you grow older you start to wonder just how much time you have left and I hope I'm still not feeling that way 2 decades from now.



esoterica181
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20 Mar 2016, 11:11 pm

I can relate with wanting to wait for a better day to start dating or wait til you are in a place with more people. For me, I really really want to date somebody and partly why it's hard for me to date is because I'm afraid to admit that to myself, that I'm desperate!



JohnPowell
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25 Mar 2016, 9:23 am

esoterica181 wrote:
I can relate with wanting to wait for a better day to start dating or wait til you are in a place with more people. For me, I really really want to date somebody and partly why it's hard for me to date is because I'm afraid to admit that to myself, that I'm desperate!


Have you dated before?


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