Can Men And Women Just Be Friends?

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Return my feelings? I did not send out feelings in the first place. I was their GM, and that would have been an abuse of my authority. Attraction is like hunger -- it can be very disracting, but you can absolutely ignore it.

As for the 4th? We were both in relationships with other people. That would have been uncool (on top of the previously mentioned abuse of authority).

Last edited by Incendax on 26 May 2016, 7:41 am, edited 1 time in total.

Attraction is inevitable.

We are a civilized people. We don't always have to act upon our attractions.

Okay, that was a little sexist. For one it is a hollywood stereotype that men want sex all the time. Men tend to cheat when their spouse is no longer youthful.

I don't think people are as civilized as you would like to think. Lots of cheaters out there. Have you seen the show "Cheaters"? That's another reason I like Aspies - it seems they are not into cheating while in a relationship like NT's are.

"Cheaters" is a reality program. I wouldn't be surprised if somebody is paid to make up some of these stories. Of course, the stories could be true, too.

Same with shows like "Maury"--and, especially, "Jerry Springer."

My point, really, is that some people are NOT civilized and WILL act upon certain illicit desires.

But they don't HAVE to act upon them. That's what I'm saying.

One could have an attraction for someone, and still "just be friends" with them.

What?! If that last sentence is true, then all men can kiss my patootie! And this is why I have a fear of marriage and use wrinkle cream up the ass (not literally).

After reading many posts in this topic I thing that this isn't a question where the answer is yes or no.

Some people like myself are perfect able to be friends and live with the opposite sex without issue. While some cannot or aren't comfortable with it

I would say the answer is a resounding depends

I don't even know where to start! I so strongly disagree but, you're entitled to your world view like everyone else.

Platonic relationships between genders (that are already coupled up) are, to my mind, more than possible.
Aside from the already mentioned, impulse control, and the setting of boundaries, trusting your partner, knowing how to be a grown up, there's also another factor that's of relevance imo... Whether you're happy in the relationship you're in.

Not even Johnny Depp would be able to sway me if I'm happy with my partner and in love with him... Yes, REALLY.

Your stance presupposes guilt, in my eyes. Also sounds controlling and demonstrates a lack of trust in general.

Is it possible for people to be attracted to someone else in other circumstances and situations? For sure.

But, the caveat is, this is just my opinion and I'm no more the arbiter on all things NT and how people conduct themselves, than I am morality.

Why, when an individual man expresses an opinion (admittedly a foolish one), do you say that "all men can kiss my patoooie," or whatever?

You're extending one man's opinion and attributing that opinion to all men.

Which really is false--because many men don't share that particular opinion.

Last edited by kraftiekortie on 26 May 2016, 9:10 am, edited 1 time in total.

"Can Men And Women Just Be Friends?"

Certainly. The question gets more interesting if one finds the other sexually attractive. Can that one let go of the desire?
Or if both feel that way. Can they stay faithful to their current partner and stay friends?
Or when there's too much reluctance, maintain friendzone even if they're both single?
I'm pretty certain anything's possible, that all answers are yes, it's possible.

Why not if the guy is ND? Lots of ND guys have issues that aren't conductive to sex--such as issues with touching--or even low sex drive.

Why not--even if the guy or gal is ultraneurotypical?

Lots of strange posts here.

First, (sexual) attraction is not the primary reason why I would put a girl in the "possible partner" category rather than "possible friend". This is related to flirting and the "eye contact game". If I flirt with a girl and she reciprocates, she will be in the "possible partner" category, and cannot get into the "possible friend" category. This only has one connection to attractivity: I will only flirt with girls that are above my minimum level of attractivity, but once that's passed, it doesn't matter if she just passes it, or if she is super-hot.

Second, girls that are in the "possible partner" category will be in the observation stage, so I won't to talk them, and thus it won't develop into a friendship. Similarly, I won't flirt with people I know very well, so friends won't go from friends to possible partners. Once they are in the friend zone, they'll stay there. I find it very strange with guys that would be friends with a girl they desire for a partner. To me that sounds creepy, and it could go really wrong because the girl is not likely to go from friend to gf either.

I don't find my posts to be strange. I find them to be the truth.

Sure they can just be friends, is it possible that you are applying the female standards for friendship, to how friendships operate for men? Friendships between men only are different to friendships between women only. To me it makes sense that friendships between women and men would be different.
Broad generalisation: Its normal for men from a young age to be sexually attracted to various different women/men but never act on that attraction. Its part of being male I believe, they are sentient.
Am I making sense? I'm a bit jumbled today.

I don't know. I've only had one male friend (and it was 25-30 years ago). I typically won't form friendships with men because I get nothing out of typical male friendships.



I have no idea. I strongly dislike typical sex, I don't bond with it, and it has no importance to me.