aside from sperm, what good are men?

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Um...what?

Aren't you making a lot of assumptions from just a "hello"?

Sure, that is why I have a rule not to approach women in grocery stores.

You do?

You misinterpreted everything XFG said and attributed to her a whole bunch of things she didn't say. You called her a man hater because of how you misinterpreted what she said, not because she hates men. I have never gotten a man-hater vibe from XFG--in fact, I think she is pretty neutral in regards to gender politics. It's not OK to personally insult someone because you attribute things to their comments that are not there. You can personally insult me and misinterpret my posts all you like because I really don't care what your opinion of me or what I say is. You can think I'm nasty and mean if you like, but you are the one throwing around terms like "man-hater" because of your own paranoia and bias against female commenters.

And I'm not sure how mentioning personally insulting the mods is a bad idea is me "trying to get you banned"--I'm just reminding you there are rules against personally insulting people on the forums, and breaking the rules directly to one of the mods IS a bad idea if you don't want to get banned. If someone reported your posts for abuse, it wasn't me--I would tell you if I had reported you. But, since you insulted the mod directly, no one really needs to report you to a mod. You kind of reported yourself.

Honestly, cold approach in any setting doesn't usually work.

Meeting new people through friends/family/acquaintances is the only socially acceptable way, from what I see.

Last edited by The_Face_of_Boo on 02 Jul 2016, 5:39 pm, edited 1 time in total.

The title of this thread suggests quite a simplistic approach to gender relations.

Yes and women are supposed to be feminine, be receptive to flirting and such, and dress 'attractively' and various things to...the ones that don't fit those sorts of norms have more trouble finding relationships. I doubt it can really be said that it's harder for either gender there are different difficulties but trying to claim one has it easier just makes people defensive and causes arguments rather than actually discussing the different difficulties.

I don't think either gender should be held to all the socially constructed molds per say, people should choose what they want to do. But I know society can make it rough on people who don't fit into them, causing a lot more difficulties for them. Also how many guys do you think would be interested in a 26 year old college drop out on SSI disability who's depressed and gloomy all the time and doesn't do anything? I mean pretty sure my boyfriend would have to move on if I was constantly miserable and just sat around in our bedroom on the bed all day and was making no efforts to improve and rejecting attempts at help. I don't think being on disability 100% bars one from dating if they're male necessarily or not driving however if you don't do anything...that could be problematic. There are probably females that would be content making more money than their S.O even if it's because the S.O is on SSI if say whilst he's at home does the housework and things like that. But if they were the main one making income and all you do is sit around when they're gone...well of course they'd take issue with that.

Then she misinterpreted what I said too, it is what it is on an autism website. You are more upset about than anyone which suggests your agenda. How man PMs have already been exchanged?

Also find me one post where I use the term 'man-hater' specifically since you quoted it, just one post. Never said it, don't put words in my mouth.
Stop interacting with me, I can have an conversation with almost almost everyone here except you. It's not me, it's you. Leave me alone.

Luckily for me I think XFG has some thicker skin.. I'm pretty sure she can read and in fact she did read and respond to what I said

Last edited by Jacoby on 02 Jul 2016, 6:21 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Statistics don't mean a damn thing!

We are individuals. We are not a composite of individual experiences.

Statistics don't mean squat when it comes to peoples' experiences.

Last edited by kraftiekortie on 02 Jul 2016, 6:27 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I really don't want to make you feel bad about your relationship, like I said I do remember your posts from before so I know that you worked hard to meet people and the anguishing you went thru. I guess don't know how interpret people's posts apparently so hopefully that's not the vibe your getting at least from me because I feel you feel are being made to feel guilty or something.

To answer your question, way more guys than women would be accepting of that situation. Whenever a guy talks about a girl, it's not "I bet she has a good job" so I just don't feel it is the same. My situation is atypical and I came from a place where not having a job aint that weird so maybe if I grew up somewhere more affluent and less urban maybe I would see things differently. Did your boyfriend date a lot before you? Just by being a woman you're bringing something to the table which I guess certain people might find insulting to say for some reason but I can't imagine the flipside. There really is no value in just being a man, not unless you're gay then it's absolutely fabulous of course but women don't seem to even like men that much. It was mentioned earlier in this thread what dependent 'emotional babies' men are and how they make their partners their second mother which I guess is the most awful thing to be in the world. I do feel it bars me, I guess that's my problem not wanting to be rejected hundreds of times. I don't know if I have it in me.

I desperately try to better myself, it's all I think about. It's hard not to think of it as Sisyphean task tho where I need go back to school, get a decent stable job, buy a car, go to the gym, develop a social network of some sorts, be able to buy dinners, do 'interesting things' whatever that is, all that crap before I even have chance and I'll still have what's wrong with me that I can't fix so where does that even leave me? I take the medication, I go to the appointments, I jump thru all the hoops but in the end you can't change your nature. I wilt under stress, I'm barely holding it together right now, so it's not hard to feel hopeless about the whole situation. I wish I was 10 years younger, you'll never get those years back and I feel like it's something I'll have to work on for very long time which I don't feel I have. Eventually the fox no longer wants the grapes, maybe that's what will happen as some defense mechanism as there plenty people like that on this forum already. Maybe something magical happens, there are other options. Who knows where life will take me, hopefully to a better place because I really feel like if it gets lower its going under the ground. I use to self medicate a lot more, I feel I have matured a lot just in the last few years but what good is it now if your 10 miles behind your peers and the ones you knew were losers anyways. This is the worst it has ever been but I thought that last time too. Arguing with people on the internet lets me detach myself from my thoughts.

Without wanting to diminish the topic in any way, I think if men weren't any good evolution would not allow us to exist. But simply, looking across all the animal kingdom, we do. Simple as.

Add to that, that a lot of sex toys are built in our image (much like we are apparently created in God's image), I think that should close this topic in itself.

Nice talking to you. Hope to have coffee with you sometime soon.

I'm sorry I hurt your feelings.

My main point was just that dating men wasn't necessarily easier than dating women, but I'll ask another moderator to review this thread in case I stepped over a line.

As an asexual/aromantic, I think dating ether sex is.....gross......, so I guess I should learn to just shut up. BTW, I wouldn't use my authority as a mod to "win" some silly argument. Be well.

Like I said, thicker skin and more intelligence! The military does folks well, too bad they turned me down! I do not care about some other mod looking at this thread,

To go all the way back to beginning, I really don't think all my problems stem from frustration about not getting laid which would be really really easy to take care of if that was all it took to for me to be happy in life. I live a pretty isolated existence with exhausted social capital, I don't have guy friends any more so I really think the want is coming from the right place and I know some guys on this site specifically comes as superficial and obsessive about sex as form validation but that's really not me. I think everybody needs some sort of companionship, it's an awful awful thing to be truly alone. Depression and anxiety are really crippling, I want somebody to help and be there for me and I think I'm capable of reciprocating that far more than anyone I know would think I'm capable of. A lot of my posts on this part of the forum are depressive and maybe even bitter it's better to write it out than bottle it up I think and I don't think I've made anybody hate me too bad except for that one poster.

Who has it harder really is immaterial since we don't get to pick teams, people will defensive about what they know which makes perfect sense. There is no point, even if we all poo poo on gender roles it doesn't change our evolved chimp society where it is inherent. For future reference to any women reading this, any generalization I make is not meant as an attack on you. When I think of women, I don't think about women on the spectrum first since I haven't known any and honestly I've only met a couple people that I know were diagnosed.

Last edited by Jacoby on 02 Jul 2016, 9:56 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Your own words that you said you didn't use.

Wrong! That's not "man-hater" like you quoted, that would be a pejorative but what I said was just a statement!