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Aspie men and distance

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auntblabby
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12 Oct 2016, 7:08 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
Ah man....You're like a "doc" sort of guy to me.


thank you my good man :flower: you can call me "doctor feelgood" :mrgreen:



hurtloam
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12 Oct 2016, 7:08 am

A sign that lights up, what like someone's blushing face lol.

Even when the guy blushes and I realise he fancies me it's still difficult to move things beyond that.



auntblabby
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12 Oct 2016, 7:11 am

hurtloam wrote:
A sign that lights up, what like someone's blushing face lol. Even when the guy blushes and I realise he fancies me it's still difficult to move things beyond that.

what if the crowd observes both your devices beeping and flashing at the same time and cheers you both on? :D



hurtloam
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12 Oct 2016, 7:23 am

auntblabby wrote:
hurtloam wrote:
A sign that lights up, what like someone's blushing face lol. Even when the guy blushes and I realise he fancies me it's still difficult to move things beyond that.

what if the crowd observes both your devices beeping and flashing at the same time and cheers you both on? :D


Actually what has happened in real life is that everyone seems to think it's funny. No one has helped us, but there's been a lot of laughing (good humour, not maliciously) which has made things worse. I feel more awkward because of it.



auntblabby
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12 Oct 2016, 7:24 am

hurtloam wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
hurtloam wrote:
A sign that lights up, what like someone's blushing face lol. Even when the guy blushes and I realise he fancies me it's still difficult to move things beyond that.

what if the crowd observes both your devices beeping and flashing at the same time and cheers you both on? :D


Actually what has happened in real life is that everyone seems to think it's funny. No one has helped us, but there's been a lot of laughing (good humour, not maliciously) which has made things worse. I feel more awkward because of it.

so you have used this app bfore?



hurtloam
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12 Oct 2016, 7:35 am

auntblabby wrote:
hurtloam wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
hurtloam wrote:
A sign that lights up, what like someone's blushing face lol. Even when the guy blushes and I realise he fancies me it's still difficult to move things beyond that.

what if the crowd observes both your devices beeping and flashing at the same time and cheers you both on? :D


Actually what has happened in real life is that everyone seems to think it's funny. No one has helped us, but there's been a lot of laughing (good humour, not maliciously) which has made things worse. I feel more awkward because of it.

so you have used this app bfore?


I meant real life blushing. I imagine the response from observers would be similar if the app notification was visible to others.



auntblabby
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12 Oct 2016, 7:52 am

hurtloam wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
hurtloam wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
hurtloam wrote:
A sign that lights up, what like someone's blushing face lol. Even when the guy blushes and I realise he fancies me it's still difficult to move things beyond that.

what if the crowd observes both your devices beeping and flashing at the same time and cheers you both on? :D


Actually what has happened in real life is that everyone seems to think it's funny. No one has helped us, but there's been a lot of laughing (good humour, not maliciously) which has made things worse. I feel more awkward because of it.

so you have used this app bfore?


I meant real life blushing. I imagine the response from observers would be similar if the app notification was visible to others.

ok, psychological experiment time- if you could stop time except for you and the person making you blush, but could slow him down to your mental speed, what would you have him say or do to allay your embarrassment? what do you want him to do for you?



hurtloam
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12 Oct 2016, 8:47 am

I would just want to talk to him without him trying to get away to hide his anxiety. That's all I want. For him to be relaxed enough to talk to me. Then maybe we could arrange to do something together like go for coffee or go to a gig.



The_Face_of_Boo
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12 Oct 2016, 12:32 pm

Is that this guy again or a new crush who's shy?

If he's that one, you should let it go - you have wasted too much time on this one already.



hurtloam
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12 Oct 2016, 2:44 pm

Well, I don't think that crush will turn to anything substantial. I'm just doing a review and trying to see how I can move forward. What I can do next time.



Spiderpig
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12 Oct 2016, 3:44 pm

Reflecting a little about the title, what comes to my mind is how girls used to put their hands preëmptively on my shoulders whenever they were more or less socially obligated to kiss me, to keep me at a distance in case I got the idea of hugging them, which I most assuredly craved, but already suspected there was something seriously wrong with it.

That was a lot of years ago. Now I'd probably focus more on appreciating the rare pleasure of feeling the woman's hands against my body, even if it's a bony part of it and through a layer of clothing, as hugging an unrelated female member of my species from my own generation seems to belong firmly and solely in my teenage past.

As far as I can tell, this is one of the many ways in which it seems really hard to empathize with the opposite sex or gender, especially if they uphold the axiom that you can't like someone's body and simultaneously appreciate them as a person, so nearly unanimous today and so at odds with my own feelings, which it claims to apply to.


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The_Face_of_Boo
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12 Oct 2016, 3:52 pm

Relevant lyrics.



hurtloam
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12 Oct 2016, 3:56 pm

Quote:
especially if they uphold the axiom that you can't like someone's body and simultaneously appreciate them as a person


Lol, that's not true. No one wants to be with someone who doesn't find them attractive.

They only get annoyed if someone they aren't attracted to finds them attractive.

However, there was a certain person who found me attractive, but never asked me out. So I can't help thinking he finds me attractive, but finds my personality boring or off-putting.

So yeah, if it's just attraction, that's not great. We want the whole shebang.



hurtloam
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12 Oct 2016, 4:07 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Relevant lyrics.



I enjoyed that.



beakybird
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12 Oct 2016, 9:11 pm

auntblabby wrote:
I'm japan they have this "meet another person" kinda smart phone app where if you are within approach distance of somebody else with this app it will alert you both at the same time with an audible alert that you both can simultaneously hear. ahead of time the app is programmed with your preferences and alerts when somebody else with that app enabled who has selected the same preferences comes walking along. mebbe something like this would be the answer should it be available in the west.


That's not good design to me...

It work better if it were an alert to you, then you can select yes or no and if you both said yes, it's let you both know, other wise whatever. No embarrassment. If I know I dramatically decreased the probability of quick rejection, it'd be far easier to approach women.



hurtloam
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13 Oct 2016, 1:29 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Is that this guy again or a new crush who's shy?

If he's that one, you should let it go - you have wasted too much time on this one already.


One of my friends was saying to me, "don't be sad that it's over, be glad that it happened." But nothing happened. I'm always stuck in beginnings. It's frustrating.

That's why I'm sad. I can't work out what I'm doing wrong all the time. Each time I meet a new guy it goes nowhere.

This one hurts more because he actually seemed to genuinely like me.