Men's thread:when she never initiates communication

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16 Jan 2017, 1:20 pm

Nope. Women are expected to initiate everything in the early stages. Usually through some nonverbal means such as a glance, etc.

If the man initiates he's considered to be a creep.

This applies both in first contact and in escalation during the first few dates.

Why do women have to initiate everything? Why don't men ever get to initiate? We need a social shift so that men also have the option to initiate courtship.

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The_Face_of_Boo
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16 Jan 2017, 2:12 pm

I somehow agree but I am talking about the verbal initiation, not the non-verbal things.

RetroGamer87 wrote:

Nope.
Women are expected to initiate everything in the early stages. Usually through some nonverbal means such as a glance, etc.

If the man initiates he's considered to be a creep.

This applies both in first contact and in escalation during the first few dates.

Why do women have to initiate everything? Why don't men ever get to initiate? We need a social shift so that men also have the option to initiate courtship.

RetroGamer87
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16 Jan 2017, 4:13 pm

I get what you mean but the verbal component comes after the nonverbal component.

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The_Face_of_Boo
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17 Jan 2017, 8:12 am

RetroGamer87 wrote:

I get what you mean but the verbal component comes after the nonverbal component.

Yes! Definitely!

Listen ladies, RetroGamer87 is very right on this.

Even the most suave and smooth talker guys (who had many gfs) told me that they would never approach a woman who never initiates a sign, they keep the rejection probability as least as possible.
So you can't tell us "Just ask us out already! What you gonna lose?" ; no, it doesn't work this way, you need to make non-verbal and verbal(as suggesting here in the thread) effort as well if you want a particular guy asks you out, otherwise he won't.

RetroGamer87
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17 Jan 2017, 8:38 am

Also guys need to be on the lookout for nonverbal signals.
They can be really easy to spot so we must be vigilant.

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Datalis
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17 Jan 2017, 8:50 am

Onyxaxe wrote:

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

Onyxaxe wrote:

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

Onyxaxe wrote:

Dude, that was exhausting. Did you ever think that women don't initiate because you're too argumentative and like to split hairs?.

No, they do initiate at times: when they are interested.

If not, they never initiate.

Anyway that was a low blow.

Get out of my thread please.

I see. Carry on with your experiment you perfect specimen of the male species. Last piece of advice "Get out of my thread please" when you hear what you don't want to, can turn any internet veteran into a troll. I was seriously trying to be nice. I am on the spectrum after all. I tell it like I see it.

Well, I didn't like your tone at all in both posts. Too aggressive, you first imply I am repulsive to women, then implying to be compared with fuckboys (what's a fuckboy anyway?); and now you call me a males' specimen.

You fail miserably at sounding nice - so kindly stop it.

Repulsive is a really strong word to use there. Interest is a fleeting emotion. You're debating interest not dateability, right?. It's easy to become uninterested in someone even if they're not a bad person.

I am aggressive per se, I'm a 27 year old punker that's had two suicide attempts and a narcissistic mother on my back for most of my life. Add to that I started working at the age of 6 and worked until I could prove I needed disability at 22 with no real treatment for my spectrum disorders until around 23. This "aggressive" nature is the norm in the real world. Add to that I've been knocked out twice in sports, broken a few bones and bike around 100 miles a month no matter the weather. To me being nice is not coddling someone but having genuine concern for their happiness and well being. Seriously, I'm trying to be nice lol.

I didn't compare you to fuckboys I was explaining why some women have bad communication skills. Fuckboy isn't a term to explain men women don't like, it's a subculture of guys who think they're cooler than they really are. That use being a jerk as a means to psychologically control women, they get laid on the regular and brag on not using contraception etc. An exaggeration of the badboy but much more demanding and materialistic. I wouldn't be surprised if most of them grow up to be wife beaters.

Sad thing is is that girls who are raised that pleasing men is the road to happiness don't know any better and by time they get to you they're jaded and such. This theory applies to both genders though. A female version of the fuckboy would be a slut right?.

I am not a cool kid but I hang around cool kids because of skateboarding, drinking etc. I'm just adding my two cents.

Rant over

It sounds like you're making excuses for those women who like "bad boys". In this instance, both parties would be at fault. "Fuckboys" wouldn't be "fuckboys" if they couldn't get laid and these women just encourage their behavior, making them just as bad. "Oh Chad is such a fuckboy, that's why I only sleep with him every once in awhile."

Datalis
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17 Jan 2017, 8:53 am

I don't know why this thread has gotten like this. It's VERY easy to tell when a woman is interested and rather consciously, or subconsciously, she will show you. Whether it be blushing, smiling, asking you how you're doing, sitting next to you, ect. A lot of guys are just to shy to respond, or don't know how to pick up on it. I've had both problems in the past.

Datalis
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17 Jan 2017, 8:56 am

Onyxaxe wrote:

Dude, that was exhausting. Did you ever think that women don't initiate because you're too argumentative and like to split hairs?.

You turned a sensible topic with different perspectives that actually aided your viewpoint and made it a self fueled psychological study. You even told half the chicks they're full of it for believing some men are archaic in their mating rituals and expectations. I have twice as many guy friends than girl friends. I have to listen to their f****d up conversations over beers. I remember one guy saying girls should never smoke or drink, he's a skater for f***s sake. He smokes pot, drinks etc. etc. These same dudes don't want to date a chick that could beat them up and most of them will drop a chick the second they show interest.

Anywho, that's what I get for befriending a bunch of fuckboys. The chicks you're so pissed at probably had to go through overly demanding fuckboys before getting to you. Most guys still believe that nice guys finish last and teach women to build up walls.

Don't forget, I'm agreeing with you on your initial statement of never. Just not the attitude you have towards why or a bunch of things you've said in this thread.

So, why are you friends with people that you openly admit to disliking?

kraftiekortie
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17 Jan 2017, 8:57 am

I don't look for "signals"--I've gotten them wrong a few times.

Datalis
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17 Jan 2017, 9:00 am

RetroGamer87 wrote:

Also guys need to be on the lookout for nonverbal signals.
They can be really easy to spot so we must be vigilant.

Keep in mind, you need confidence in order to spot signals from women. A woman can give you non-verbal signals until she's blue in the face, but if you have the mindset of "Well she's not interested, she's just being nice." you won't get anywhere. Of course she COULD just be being nice, but that makes it your job to find out. That is, if you're interested.

The_Face_of_Boo
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17 Jan 2017, 9:16 am

kraftiekortie wrote:

I don't look for "signals"--I've gotten them wrong a few times.

Hence why initiating communication from her part once in a while is the strongest and the most obvious signal of all.

Zed90230
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18 Jan 2017, 9:43 am

kraftiekortie wrote:

I don't look for "signals"--I've gotten them wrong a few times.

People have read me wrong so often, I got used to it years ago.

nurseangela
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18 Jan 2017, 10:16 am

I used to ask guys out and it got me nowhere. I always got a date, but then the guy thought just because I asked him out then I was "easy" which is so NOT true. :mrgreen: Hence, all my dates were only one-time dates. I think the guy thinks "hey, she asked ME out so she must already be highly attracted to me and will therefore be an easy lay." Nope.

I find if I don't ask the guy out, then I am in more control and he has to act more "gentlemanly" in order to get my respect and have a chance at more dates. IMO, I think a guy would feel more "manly" if he takes the chance of asking a girl out and she accepts and he "wins" the girl of his dreams. That's the "traditional" way of dating and how it's been for hundreds of years - that is until the feminists movement which I think ruined a lot of things between men and women.

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Datalis
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18 Jan 2017, 10:35 am

nurseangela wrote:

I used to ask guys out and it got me nowhere. I always got a date, but then the guy thought just because I asked him out then I was "easy" which is so NOT true. :mrgreen:

Hence, all my dates were only one-time dates. I think the guy thinks "hey, she asked ME out so she must already be highly attracted to me and will therefore be an easy lay." Nope.

I find if I don't ask the guy out, then I am in more control and he has to act more "gentlemanly" in order to get my respect and have a chance at more dates. IMO, I think a guy would feel more "manly" if he takes the chance of asking a girl out and she accepts and he "wins" the girl of his dreams. That's the "traditional" way of dating and how it's been for hundreds of years - that is until the feminists movement which I think ruined a lot of things between men and women.

It really doesn't matter to me who asks who out, but I get an ego boost if a woman asks me. "Hey dude, this beautiful woman asked me out." *Goes and flexes in the mirror* "Yeah, I'm looking good."

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18 Jan 2017, 10:41 am

I believe asking guys out takes all the "tradition" out of dating. I've asked and been asked and I much more prefer the man asking the woman - I respected the guy more and was respected more back and the relationship lasted more than just one date. I won't be asking anymore.

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The_Face_of_Boo
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18 Jan 2017, 10:44 am

But the thread isn't about thr asking out part; even though it would be nice if a woman asks me out.

The thread is about communication, my theory is simple: if a woman is really interested, she *will* initiate communication sometimes, whether in form of texting, calling or otherwise.
If it's only the man doing it then he is not that important in her life.

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