Board index › Coping in life › Love and Dating

New young female co-worker joined today.

Page 8 of 11 [ 169 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1 ... 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11  Next

Previous topic | Next topic

RetroGamer87
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 30 Jul 2013
Age: 38
Gender: Male
Posts: 11,196
Location: Adelaide, Australia

24 Nov 2017, 6:29 am

GiantHockeyFan wrote:
sly279 wrote:
It is for me. Women where I live want successful ambitious men ie men with good jobs. They specifically say so. They don’t beat around the bush they come straight out and say it then call me and men like me who don’t meet that not real men.

Sounds to me like a lot of the profiles I saw on POF:
"No games"
"No bad boys"
"Not interested in a hookup"
When I see those terms, it is inevitable that she will date the same losers over and over again. You have to learn not to take statements like that at face value.

So what do those statements mean?


_________________
The days are long, but the years are short


RetroGamer87
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 30 Jul 2013
Age: 38
Gender: Male
Posts: 11,196
Location: Adelaide, Australia

24 Nov 2017, 6:34 am

sly279 wrote:
Aaron Rhodes wrote:
To the OP, you were turned down for an obvious reason. You have to keep in mind that being in a relationship means sharing a part of your life with another human being. If you are only working part time trying to support yourself, imagine how difficult it will be trying to support for someone else as well, or even providing for a family eventually. The dating agency is looking for people with financial stability, which shows that they are capable of providing for both themselves and their potential partner.

Thought women wanted equality thought women were independent? So why do they need a man to provide for them?

They don't need a man to provide for them, they just need a man who doesn't need someone to provide for him.


_________________
The days are long, but the years are short


RetroGamer87
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 30 Jul 2013
Age: 38
Gender: Male
Posts: 11,196
Location: Adelaide, Australia

24 Nov 2017, 6:35 am

XFilesGeek wrote:
Marknis wrote:
XFilesGeek wrote:
sly279 wrote:
BTDT wrote:
https://www.virtualdatingassistants.com/pof-advanced-search-url
POF has an advanced search that allow you to search for women who aren't ambitious. You might try searching on just that. Sometimes searches don't work because you are putting in too much stuff. Unless you live in a big city you really can't expect to find someone that matches all of your search choices. It is better to search on the most important thing first, and perhaps add one or two more if you get a lot of hits to narrow things down.

Probably not many, seems most women are ambitious while most men are lazy. Why’s evolution doing that?

Isn’t that a paid feature similar to narrowing down to only thin women?


Lord only knows.

If a chick wants a big house, fancy car, ect. she should get off her butt and earn it.


They should also stop demanding free drinks and dinners as well.


Agreed!

I'm a firm believer in "equal rights means equal responsibility."


But paying for their meal makes me feel more important. Don't take that away from me :(


_________________
The days are long, but the years are short


GiantHockeyFan
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 18 Jun 2012
Age: 43
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,293

24 Nov 2017, 7:17 am

RetroGamer87 wrote:
So what do those statements mean?

They mean
"I play games"
"I keep falling for bad boys"
"I have hydraulic underpants"
Without fail, everyone who uses those terms I mentioned previously is seriously messed up in the head. As the old saying goes it takes two to tangle and if someone keeps falling for the wrong guys there is a reason for it. Approach with extreme caution!



Aaron Rhodes
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

Joined: 17 Jun 2017
Age: 31
Gender: Male
Posts: 152

24 Nov 2017, 11:30 am

Marknis, I never said that you have to give up on your dream. Taking a step back just gives you time to clear your thoughts for a while and evaluate whether your actions have been justified or not. That's something you can't do when you are fully immersed in what has now become an OBSESSION. It's one of those situations where the more you pursue your dream, the more difficult it becomes to achieve it. You can't continue to view women only as potential partners, both because it's just wrong, and any relationship you do end up in would only be superficial, which I would assume is not what you want.

P.S. Your last post just goes to show how selective your hearing (in this case, your sight) is. That shows that your goal on this sight is to fish for the answers you want to hear in the hopes that it will justify your actions. Given by your original post in this topic, it seems that you view women as nothing more than objects that you can use to claim the title of a relationship. It's a serious red flag when your first thought upon seeing someone new is that a relationship will result from it.



Marknis
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 24 Jan 2016
Gender: Male
Posts: 5,960
Location: The Vile Belt

24 Nov 2017, 1:43 pm

Aaron Rhodes wrote:
Marknis, I never said that you have to give up on your dream. Taking a step back just gives you time to clear your thoughts for a while and evaluate whether your actions have been justified or not. That's something you can't do when you are fully immersed in what has now become an OBSESSION. It's one of those situations where the more you pursue your dream, the more difficult it becomes to achieve it. You can't continue to view women only as potential partners, both because it's just wrong, and any relationship you do end up in would only be superficial, which I would assume is not what you want.

P.S. Your last post just goes to show how selective your hearing (in this case, your sight) is. That shows that your goal on this sight is to fish for the answers you want to hear in the hopes that it will justify your actions. Given by your original post in this topic, it seems that you view women as nothing more than objects that you can use to claim the title of a relationship. It's a serious red flag when your first thought upon seeing someone new is that a relationship will result from it.


No, that is not what I want and I don't view women as objects. I just find the dating scene confusing and almost inaccessible.



XFilesGeek
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Jul 2010
Age: 43
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 6,031
Location: The Oort Cloud

24 Nov 2017, 2:45 pm

RetroGamer87 wrote:
XFilesGeek wrote:
Marknis wrote:
XFilesGeek wrote:
sly279 wrote:
BTDT wrote:
https://www.virtualdatingassistants.com/pof-advanced-search-url
POF has an advanced search that allow you to search for women who aren't ambitious. You might try searching on just that. Sometimes searches don't work because you are putting in too much stuff. Unless you live in a big city you really can't expect to find someone that matches all of your search choices. It is better to search on the most important thing first, and perhaps add one or two more if you get a lot of hits to narrow things down.

Probably not many, seems most women are ambitious while most men are lazy. Why’s evolution doing that?

Isn’t that a paid feature similar to narrowing down to only thin women?


Lord only knows.

If a chick wants a big house, fancy car, ect. she should get off her butt and earn it.


They should also stop demanding free drinks and dinners as well.


Agreed!

I'm a firm believer in "equal rights means equal responsibility."


But paying for their meal makes me feel more important. Don't take that away from me :(


That's fine.

But I don't think women should demand it, and, if a man is nice enough to pay for their meal, they should at least be grateful.


_________________
"If we fail to anticipate the unforeseen or expect the unexpected in a universe of infinite possibilities, we may find ourselves at the mercy of anyone or anything that cannot be programmed, categorized or easily referenced."

-XFG (no longer a moderator)


Marknis
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 24 Jan 2016
Gender: Male
Posts: 5,960
Location: The Vile Belt

24 Nov 2017, 2:58 pm

XFilesGeek wrote:
RetroGamer87 wrote:
XFilesGeek wrote:
Marknis wrote:
XFilesGeek wrote:
sly279 wrote:
BTDT wrote:
https://www.virtualdatingassistants.com/pof-advanced-search-url
POF has an advanced search that allow you to search for women who aren't ambitious. You might try searching on just that. Sometimes searches don't work because you are putting in too much stuff. Unless you live in a big city you really can't expect to find someone that matches all of your search choices. It is better to search on the most important thing first, and perhaps add one or two more if you get a lot of hits to narrow things down.

Probably not many, seems most women are ambitious while most men are lazy. Why’s evolution doing that?

Isn’t that a paid feature similar to narrowing down to only thin women?


Lord only knows.

If a chick wants a big house, fancy car, ect. she should get off her butt and earn it.


They should also stop demanding free drinks and dinners as well.


Agreed!

I'm a firm believer in "equal rights means equal responsibility."


But paying for their meal makes me feel more important. Don't take that away from me :(


That's fine.

But I don't think women should demand it, and, if a man is nice enough to pay for their meal, they should at least be grateful.


They damn well should. Most of the time, they just give off a "Thanks. See you again never." vibe.



NorthWind
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Jun 2016
Gender: Female
Posts: 577

24 Nov 2017, 5:06 pm

Marknis wrote:
XFilesGeek wrote:

That's fine.

But I don't think women should demand it, and, if a man is nice enough to pay for their meal, they should at least be grateful.


They damn well should. Most of the time, they just give off a "Thanks. See you again never." vibe.


If I were on a date with a guy I'd rather he didn't pay for me, unless he insisted on going to some ridiculously expensive place I never wanted to go to. Then that's his own fault, but I'd tell him first that I'd rather go somewhere cheaper. I'm not rich.
I'd not start an argument over who pays though. If he insists there's nothing I'm going to do about it. I also don't know how I should have to be thankful except saying thanks. It neither gives me any obligation to see him again nor to do anything sexual (though I don't think the second of those things is what you were talking about anyway). Aside from fairness the having to be thankful is the second reason why I would rather he didn't pay for me, especially not on a first date. I wouldn't want him to have any reason to think I owe him anything.



sly279
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Dec 2013
Age: 38
Gender: Male
Posts: 16,183
Location: US

24 Nov 2017, 7:12 pm

RetroGamer87 wrote:
sly279 wrote:
Aaron Rhodes wrote:
To the OP, you were turned down for an obvious reason. You have to keep in mind that being in a relationship means sharing a part of your life with another human being. If you are only working part time trying to support yourself, imagine how difficult it will be trying to support for someone else as well, or even providing for a family eventually. The dating agency is looking for people with financial stability, which shows that they are capable of providing for both themselves and their potential partner.

Thought women wanted equality thought women were independent? So why do they need a man to provide for them?

They don't need a man to provide for them, they just need a man who doesn't need someone to provide for him.

Disagree or they’d be fine with a guy who makes little but covers his expenses and not a guy who can afford tons of trips to Europe and a big house. Why do these women need two houses, two cars etc?

I don’t need or will except help from women. I pay my bills I’m self efficient. So clearly the fact they consider me a loser and want a middle class well off guy has nothing to do with him not mooching off then or him being self efficient.



RetroGamer87
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 30 Jul 2013
Age: 38
Gender: Male
Posts: 11,196
Location: Adelaide, Australia

24 Nov 2017, 8:04 pm

sly279 wrote:
RetroGamer87 wrote:
sly279 wrote:
Aaron Rhodes wrote:
To the OP, you were turned down for an obvious reason. You have to keep in mind that being in a relationship means sharing a part of your life with another human being. If you are only working part time trying to support yourself, imagine how difficult it will be trying to support for someone else as well, or even providing for a family eventually. The dating agency is looking for people with financial stability, which shows that they are capable of providing for both themselves and their potential partner.

Thought women wanted equality thought women were independent? So why do they need a man to provide for them?

They don't need a man to provide for them, they just need a man who doesn't need someone to provide for him.

Disagree or they’d be fine with a guy who makes little but covers his expenses and not a guy who can afford tons of trips to Europe and a big house. Why do these women need two houses, two cars etc?

I don’t need or will except help from women. I pay my bills I’m self efficient. So clearly the fact they consider me a loser and want a middle class well off guy has nothing to do with him not mooching off then or him being self efficient.

What if she wants to buy a house with her partner? 50% each? He wouldn't be her provider but he'd need to be as middle class as she is.


_________________
The days are long, but the years are short


ManaLDN
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

User avatar

Joined: 1 Jun 2017
Gender: Female
Posts: 34
Location: Poland

24 Nov 2017, 9:00 pm

sly279 wrote:
RetroGamer87 wrote:
sly279 wrote:
Aaron Rhodes wrote:
To the OP, you were turned down for an obvious reason. You have to keep in mind that being in a relationship means sharing a part of your life with another human being. If you are only working part time trying to support yourself, imagine how difficult it will be trying to support for someone else as well, or even providing for a family eventually. The dating agency is looking for people with financial stability, which shows that they are capable of providing for both themselves and their potential partner.

Thought women wanted equality thought women were independent? So why do they need a man to provide for them?

They don't need a man to provide for them, they just need a man who doesn't need someone to provide for him.

Disagree or they’d be fine with a guy who makes little but covers his expenses and not a guy who can afford tons of trips to Europe and a big house. Why do these women need two houses, two cars etc?

I don’t need or will except help from women. I pay my bills I’m self efficient. So clearly the fact they consider me a loser and want a middle class well off guy has nothing to do with him not mooching off then or him being self efficient.



Not sure who's better to quote here, as RetroGamer87 had a valid point - the earnings gap. I won't be asking for personal info such as earnings or dating experience, but it sounds like you look for the wrong type of women and form a bad opinion on the entire population. Maybe you need to change your target group.

I never heard from any woman (not just my age group) that she would want more than one house and one car. And I myself, despite young age, have arguments against looking for a high earning gap, as I see it as a matter of dependency.
Edit: I see there were posts by women with similar attitudes. You may not trust a stranger with unknown relationship status, but have you asked about the attitude towards feminism and traditional roles? If not that, there should be some pattern clarifying the choices...


tl;dr Please, don't generalize about all of us wanting luxury on the man's expense.



Last edited by ManaLDN on 24 Nov 2017, 9:08 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Aaron Rhodes
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

Joined: 17 Jun 2017
Age: 31
Gender: Male
Posts: 152

24 Nov 2017, 9:05 pm

Someone should start a new thread on the current subject being discussed as the original purpose of this thread has already expired.



BTDT
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 26 Jul 2010
Age: 63
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 8,517

24 Nov 2017, 9:32 pm

Aaron Rhodes wrote:
Someone should start a new thread on the current subject being discussed as the original purpose of this thread has already expired.


Maybe in another forum, but why bother in Love and Dating?



hale_bopp
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 2 Nov 2004
Gender: Female
Posts: 17,054
Location: None

25 Nov 2017, 3:47 am

Aaron Rhodes wrote:
Someone should start a new thread on the current subject being discussed as the original purpose of this thread has already expired.


OP hasn’t bothered to update anyone so it’s gone on a tangent.



RetroGamer87
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 30 Jul 2013
Age: 38
Gender: Male
Posts: 11,196
Location: Adelaide, Australia

25 Nov 2017, 4:30 am

I love it when that happens! :D


_________________
The days are long, but the years are short