Would You Date Me?

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I picture you as an individual plugged to a local 'Melbourne hive mind' hovering above from which you get some data, and to another, higher hivemind, which is the 'Cross-cultural Women hive mind' hovering above earth, from which you get some data . The source of the remaining 50% of data is internal.

No, for obvs.

It's funny how some things seem to be intrinsically covered in the "would you", e.g. 'IF you were single', or 'IF I was a suitable age', or 'IF I lived near you', or 'IF I met all your other criteria' ... except not 'IF you were gay / a girl'. Like it needs to be announced "no I wouldn't, cos I'm a man". Helpful.

P.S. I'm not claiming that I've been of any help

Because the majority of humanity is heterosexual, so our default thinking in hetero-centric.

Figurative speaking, we are 'plugged' to a hetero-centric hivemind orbiting around earth.

I guess the ones, who argued that career does not impact dating at all, would date him.

If I was a woman who was straight & singe I sure would. He reminds me a lot of me when I was single & frustrated & I was wanting to meet single & frustrated women cuz I figured we could relate & stop being single & frustrated by becoming a couple.

I have physical disabilities in addition to my Aspergers that make it extremely difficult for me to find & maintain employment & I also cant drive because of them. Due to living in a rural area & not having any resources to help me move out & be independent other than SSI & Medicaid & then latter SSDI, Medicare & Medicaid(SSDI wasn't much more than what I was getting in SSI) I was forced to live with my parents. NO women in real life & on dating sites were willing to give me half a chance due to this & I asked out quite a few women in real life including friends & I sent messages to almost any women in my area who didn't have kids & wasn't too much older than me. I was singe & trying the the whole time I was working including asking women out at work & I worked for 38 months but they were cleaning related jobs & didn't pay a whole lot but I worked aLOT of overtime when I could. Even the women who I thought were friends had not romantic interest in me despite being a good sounding board for them to talk to when they were upset or just dealing with some stuff. I think by the time I started to like em they only saw me as a friend & not romantically. The only way I got my 3 girlfriends that I had/have is by posting aLOT on forums & eventually my personality shined through to em. They had their own share of issues too but I was NOT expecting or wanting a perfect person because I figured a perfect one wouldn't really understand & relate to me even if she was willing to give me a real chance & tried to make a realtionship work. I was single probably for about at least 8 years between my 1st relationship ending & getting in my current one. I was only with my second girlfriend for about half a year & that was about how long I was officially with my 1st but we were friends for a while before & abit after.

Fact:In most mammals, males have to flock, dance, fight or sing in order to win the....female.

Why do you think humans are any different?

I haven't read every post on every thread but I defiantly haven't claimed that career (or lack of one) wouldn't impact dating. It has a big impact, but it's not of equal importance with everyone and it isn't the only big issue. Since most peoples career probs on here are going to be related to being autistic and are not about to magically disappear and after a lot of years (pre-diagnosis) of being told 'why don't you go to Uni. so you can get a well paid job' over and over and my reasons not being understood, I don't dump all that sh***y pointless advice on other people. I assume that the person has considered the obvious and can't do it.

A lot of women really do value things in men other than how much money they have, we just aren't walking around with flashing orange lights on our heads to distinguish up, sorry.

i don't think anyone wants to deny that humans are influenced by culture but at the same time no human will want to deal with you if you keep just generalizing them, because although a great deal of our personality is formed by cultural influence, there is always some degree of individuality. and when we are talking about some intimate relationship, people tend to enjoy that to be take in account.

still many of the complains about what women really wants here are super exaggerated and naturalized when they shouldn't. if some men can be deviant of social norms and don't care about cars/trips/job, why on earth can't some women be the same? even if the majority of woman don't, you're not dating the-majority-of-women, you're dating an individual.

and someone must be really distant from reality to believe that majority of people really sees trips to europe every year/two new cars/4 bedroom houses as the norm.


and no, i don't want to say that the life for poor/ugly/whatever below the standard of "success" is a beautiful and easy walk in the park. people struggle, a lot of them, probably the majority of them. but it doesn't mean you're doomed to live alone for the rest of your life and everyone is looking you down and you should be sorry for yourself and hate society. and specially if you looking for a partner, putting the blame on the opposite sex won't help you.

No of course nobody is doomed. You just have to put in energy and improve your situation as much as you can. Nobody else will do it for you.

That would be a fascinating idea though, why don't start this trend?

The housing bubble and it’s popping, and now the tons of empty 4 bedroom houses says differently, our society says it’s the norm and most people push towards getting it. A 4 bedroom house with a white picket fence is still very much th American dream and has been since the 1900. Two cars, is simple if woman has a car and requires a guy habe one to date then when they together they now have two cars, quite a few people have 3+ cars. Most the people in my area do, they have a car for each of their kids over 16.
My sold car went to being a guys kids starter car. I really don’t get why America is so obsessed with everyone needing an individual car, but it is. Based of women’s dating profiles and peoples Facebook trips to Europe aren’t unusual. Most women’s profiles are filled with pictures from various nations, eupeoan and Asian, and thier profile reads, want to travel to every country in the world before I die or something along those lines.
Other men here have pointed that out to. We are confused how they afford such trips while being in college or working.

Missed my bus probably going be late meh

If s business refuses to serve gays do the gays blame themselves or the business?
If all or most men refuse to date a woman is it her fault? Did she make them reject her?
I can’t control women’s mind so how’s it my fault they reject me? So they are to blame wether it’s right or wrong for them to reject me is another issu but I certainly don’t make them do it so it can’t be my fault. I blame society more so most women are how they are cause how society raised them to think and be. If I was more successful I’d probably be that way too. Being poor has a way of ruining societies education and ideas. How can I beleive societies ideas when I don’t meet them? I’m proof it’s ideas are faulty and don’t work. So no I refuse to blame myself for women rejecting me cause I’m aspie and don’t have a good job. What good would come from further hating and blaming myself except a feeling depression state.

Last edited by sly279 on 01 Mar 2018, 10:20 am, edited 1 time in total.

Yeah, that also confused me too,....ladies, sly is right on this one, I confirm - there are plenty of such female dating profiles who are around 25 yet tons of traveling pics and with a long list of visited countries.

My first thought was always "probably at the expense of some well off older ex boyfriends".

Or their parents. Even high school students take class trips to Europe , I couldn’t as I come from a poor family but my German class for example went to Germany every year. Coat like 2,000

I had bunch of plans and ideas they all failed every single last one, so now I don’t have any idea, plans or dreams. Every path I picked lead to a dead end. Wasted my 20s pursuing dead ends. So much for all it takes is hard work and determination.

I'm really sorry that you limit your knowledge of women and society by the population of dating sites.


And, maybe it's going to be shock, but women can actually work and get money to fund their trips. It doesn't need to be sponsored by other men. Or they can get scholarships to study abroad, or a lot of other things just as man.

Luckily, the 50s were a lot of time ago.