My girlfriend wants to have a child but I'm not ready yet

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I have every reason to believe you are careful as well as considerate of your partner.

Your lifestyle is really no different than a heterosexual in my opinion. We all just want to be loved.

Perhaps her way of thinking is more popular among females than males, but I don't think that would be fair to make broad statements.

Aw, that's so cute that you're being all "equality," and all about me.. but I'm pretty sure that my lifestyle is quite different from MOST heterosexuals. What's pretty common & normal in the gay community, in terms of hookups/number of partners etc, is more like.. the 0.01% of the heterosexual community & only really experienced by people into "free love," kink or fetish parties, swingers clubs etc. And also, kind of, by the most sexually successful Alpha-males (the 0.01%) who very frequently "connect," with different women. The typical gay guy that's into the hookup scene, even if they're not into "the scene," in terms of hanging out in the gay district, leads a dramatically different sex life than the typical heterosexual. That's just simply fact. Most aren't "looking for love," it's more like... "for the love of sex."

I was trying to find the video clip where he's dancing to a song with the lyrics "Robots need love, too," but found this clip instead.. which I never knew any of the backstory info in the beginning of this. Even more respect to this kid's talent:

I wasn't trying to be cute. People are people. Gay or straight. Some want monogamy. Some don't.

But the "some don't," mentality in the gay community is at the EXTREME end of the human sexuality spectrum.

Some do-some don't. You see plenty of straight folks who aren't monogamous and you see gay folks wanting marriage equality. That gives me the idea that many gays want to settle down. At least here in the United States. Anyway mileage varies. People are individuals. And even our needs can change over time.

Here in the US, the impression I get is that it’s not really about marriage equality. If that were true, nobody would be throwing fits over wedding cakes.

It’s really about normalizing the behavior. If you disagree with it or offended by it, you are somehow defective or outlandish. It’s not enough to merely have equality. It’s about changing the thinking of an entire society.

I wonder what people even really see in marriage. I think probably 1/3 young couples really just do it for the dress, the cake, and the vacation. It’s a rite of passage, something that says “Hey, I’m a full-fledged, legit woman.” Or man. Whatever. And when he loses his job and can’t afford the mortgage or the new car every year, that whole “for richer/for poorer” thing...well, I said that back when I still loved you. We’re different people now, so why waste our lives being miserable together?

I think we should do commitment ceremonies and invent an institution to back it up. Your vows would be like wedding vows, except they’d be strictly conditional. End it with something like, I dunno... And if I ever break this, my solemn oath, you will be immediately and unquestioningly released from any and all commitments made in our pledge together.

Personally, if I had it to do over again and if it was legally recognized where I live, I’d do a covenant marriage. Just burn the ships, I’m all in! NOBODY gets a free pass. Marriage support systems EVERYWHERE. It’s still possible to get a divorce, but it’s extremely difficult, and you have so many people working with you to keep your marriage together. You can’t get out of it over stupid stuff. It just about has to be life-threatening, so you really, REALLY have to be sure you know your partner well before signing off on these.

^ Did you lose your job and now your wife wants to divorce you?

Nope.

It happens to a lot of folks, though.

We both lost jobs within months of each other and ended up homeless with 2 kids. I’ve been perpetually underemployed ever since, and she’s stuck by me all the way.

That’s not to say we haven’t struggled with things in our marriage. First it was the money thing. Then there was a long-time family friend who started trying to isolate her and take advantage of her. I immediately put a stop to that one. Right now the big crisis is she has a friend who cheats on her husband every chance she gets. This friend is always trying to talk her into divorcing me. It pisses me off, but she totally lit into this “friend” one night. She also regularly shames her for being a cheater.

There’s always SOMETHING. That’s just life. I don’t worry about it. I do my best and keep communication open.

For gays that want to get married it has ZERO to do with you accepting what they do in the bedroom. (which is none of your business, and you'll never be invited to see it, so there's no quest to normalize it.) It's about the freedom of choice to do the exact same thing as any couple in a relationship, to get married and have that recognition as well as all the legal benefits that come along with it. Tax benefits, next of kin benefits during medical emergencies, etc - all of the things straight married couples simply take for granted.

Goldfish, yes indeed.

To the other poster about spouses leaving when their finances hit the skids...my sister did just that. Left guy number one with run up bills and found a sugar daddy.