I am the XX year old virgin. Add your name to the list.

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Aspie_Chav
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15 Oct 2007, 5:27 am

I believe anti-depressants can kill sex drive. Trying to kill the need for love is another matter.

crackedpleasures
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15 Oct 2007, 6:09 am

Keeno wrote:

The 40-year old virgin, as much as I enjoyed the film and found it funny, is a dangerous film and dangerous cultural icon for those of us who are virgins at whatever age. It puts pressure and possible ridicule on guys like us. Pressure to have lost our virginity before 40 or be labelled.

Not at all actually. In the film, the virgin is the most "sane" and normal character of them all. All his friends are obsessing over sex and making a fool of themselves while the virgin is portraited as a pretty normal character and most importantly a nice person. I think the film rather disagrees with the social pressure on getting sex as soon as possible. Look at the film again and look at the characters of the different people in the film and if you look at it from the correct angle you will see the virgin is the most pleasant character in the whole film.

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spirited
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15 Oct 2007, 9:33 am

Dunwich wrote:

28 seems to be a popular age on this thread as well, so add me to the list. Never even kissed a girl. I'm suprised that only one poster mentioned this:

Bodorus wrote:

For now i want something to stop my bloody sexdrive (it really ennoys me that i have the inevitable urge to think at sex and masturbate).

I've felt for years that I could be perfectly happy if I could just turn my sex drive off and be a machine. At 22, I made a decision that will probably take my virginity with me to the grave: I got so sick of needing to regularly masturbate that I tried a more unpleasant means of neutralizing my libido...involving a similar rythmic motion and a dumbell.

They weren't crushed, but something's wrong with the right one now. Well, despite the constant pain, especially when I ejaculate, I STILL need to masturbate just as often. I probably fantasize about sex even more now, only now those fantasies are jumbled together with suicide fantasies. I seem to have developed the rather nonsensical idea that I could die and get a do-over on this life, only this time with the social skills necessary to take some of the opportunities I was oblibious to up through college. I know it's just because I'll never have any better opportunities than back then. I don't connect with people, and the first time I heard the term "emotional needs" I was completely baffled, so I guess I'd just be using anyone I had sex with.

And yet, even people who have the same dismissive attitude toward ever actually having sex are completely shocked at the idea of wanting to castrate myself. Isn't it the completely logical next step? I know that even going through with total castration won't kill the urge completely, so I'd just get prescription chemical castrators if I had health insurance.

Well, for that matter, I could also see about a little reconstructive surgery...

And even if I did, I've developed a lot of bitterness and hostility surrounding my sexuality that I'd probably take out on my first willing partner, so maybe I just SHOULDN'T lose my virginity. A fantasy that never completely leaves me is saving my virginity until marriage, just so that on my wedding day, I could lift the veil of my bride and gaze deeply into her eyes, never deviating it for a second as I pull the automagnum from my pocket and blow my brains out onto my loved ones, with the same stupid laughter that they always gave me as a response to questions for advice on how to go about dating echoing through what's left of my head..."Oh, you'll figure it out, heh, heh, heh..."

Ah, to be young again...

Seriously, SOME of the guys here must have thought about castrating yourselves. Anyone? Not to deraill the thread, but I'm really curious about this.

Hey, please, have a dr. look at that testical, ok? that is a very important body part. also, I know girls who have the sex issues you have, too. they are out there, no one will talk about it though.

GenericBrandUserName
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15 Oct 2007, 12:25 pm

I never considered castration in my life ever, whether it be chemical or physical. However, I have considered the option (if it's even a viable one) of numbing/killing the part of my brain that has to do with relationships, love, sex drive, etc. However, in the end, I realize that such damage to the brain would probably also handicap other things that I do that's tied to that portion of the brain.

At least anti-depressants are the next viable option. 150mg of Zoloft a day and other SSRI's FTW. :D

In all seriousness, though, with me, I just got so tired of worrying about it that it naturally went away: the need for a relationship/sex, sex drive, and so on. I barely have any need for any of the following and for that, I feel like I'm more well-adjusted and sane for it. (:

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Who_Am_I
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16 Oct 2007, 7:02 am

I lost it at almost 15.

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eet_1024
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16 Oct 2007, 5:34 pm

It's my belief that as long as you're concerned with being a virgin, you won't have to worry about anyone taking that away from you.

Dunwich
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17 Oct 2007, 9:58 pm

calandale wrote:

I was just referring to myself,
and the general tenor here,
which seems to be that one
wants, but isn't getting any.

I wouldn't really call that 'voluntary'
even if it's a matter of choosing NOT
to have sex with certain people.

Y'know, I actually found WP through a link that someone put on an incel support site. Since that community is almost entirely concerned with this matter, they have some streamlined jargon for variations on the condition:

INCEL: The state of being involuntarily celebate.

VOCEL: The state of being voluntarily celebate.

MEDCEL: The state of having a medical condition that prevents any sex activity (I went from simply incel to somewhat medcel after my dumbass dumbell incident.)

MARCEL: The state of being married, but having little-to-no sex with one's spouse, regardless of how much one wants to (The most ominous ones ALWAYS have the cutest names)

Wikipedia claims that AS is a common reason for incelness, but still probably accounts for less that 50% of cases, and there's no conclusive proof, partly because AS can be so frickin' hard to diagnose or spread awareness of. I'm guessing that Social Anxiety Disorder is just as common a reason, based on some of the posts I read.

I don't remember the site's address, and I couldn't join since they never responded to my response to their entrance email.

Yes I could just apply from another account, but I hate having multiple emails, and feel more at home here, since being an Aspie has caused problems in other areas besides my (imaginary) sex life.

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the2death5of6pathos
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19 Oct 2007, 1:14 am

My 'mental' virginity was lost at (what I am told) a shockingly young age.

I lost my physical virginity a little less than 176 and a half hours ago. I am 20

steveos87
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21 Oct 2007, 5:23 pm

Brian003 wrote:

I am the 20 year old virgin

Ditto. I wonder how much longer before I get my first kiss/date/sex, etc.

Angelinawb
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22 Oct 2007, 10:21 am

Dunwich wrote:

28 seems to be a popular age on this thread as well, so add me to the list. Never even kissed a girl. I'm suprised that only one poster mentioned this:

Bodorus wrote:

For now i want something to stop my bloody sexdrive (it really ennoys me that i have the inevitable urge to think at sex and masturbate).

Dunwich. You really need to see a doc about the testicle thing, and I think it would be worth asking him to refer you to someone to discuss your castration desires with. Sexuality is so hard to process, for NT's too, and it really helps to get an outsiders view on it. EVERYBODY finds sex & dating difficult and confusing - unless they are amazingly confident, or feeling safe in a relatively long term relationship.
As for the castration thing - I have spoken to guys who would like to have no sex drive, and who wish that they had no genitals, and I am sure there are other s who have thought about castration. But please don't hurt yourself. Your fantasies may have mixed up sex & death, but that would be a really bad thing in reality.

neurodeviant
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22 Oct 2007, 12:53 pm

23 year old virgin here.

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riverotter
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23 Oct 2007, 10:03 am

Angelinawb wrote:

As for the castration thing - I have spoken to guys who would like to have no sex drive, and who wish that they had no genitals, and I am sure there are other s who have thought about castration. But please don't hurt yourself. Your fantasies may have mixed up sex & death, but that would be a really bad thing in reality.

They use Depo-Provera to kill the sex drive of male sex offenders. It's a reversible form of chemical castration.
Back to the original topic, I lost my virginity at 25, on my wedding night.
The wedding pictures are hilarious. We look like a couple of clumsy, nerdy Aspies trying to look like a wedding cake topper. Ah, love. (This was after I publicly claimed asexuality).

Ben_Cardwell
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23 Oct 2007, 10:05 am

I'm an eighteen year old virgin.

Eire
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