More Thought on Incels.

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I don't think it's so cut-and-dried. How would you explain this bizarre night-and-day difference?

Year 2002:
Me and my first girlfriend saw a band performing on our college campus. Since we were 18, we were both obviously sober. It was a 3-piece guitar/drums/keyboard band. They sold glow sticks for $1 apiece, to raise money and make the band performance more fun. We each bought one, to support the band. I initiated a pretend sword fight, by hitting her glow stick with mine. She looked me squarely in the eyes, and started berating me: "You're 18 and in college, and acting like a kid! Stop it!". I threw my glow stick into a nearby trash can, and spent the rest of the night sheepishly watching the band with my girlfriend, feeling ashamed. We said "good night" quite dryly at the end, with a reluctant, standoffish hug.

Year 2021:
Me and my QAnon group went to a street festival in the next state over, the one that has no mask mandates. We're all in our late 30's thru late 50's. There was a rock cover band playing. Me (male, 38), my friend (female, 40), and her friend (male) drove there together. We bought glow sticks in a dollar store on the way over. We got to the festival, loaded up on overpriced beers, and started watching the band. While the band played, I did the exact same thing I did 19 years prior: initiate a pretend sword fight. This time, my friend enthusiastically reciprocated, and we hit each other's glow sticks for several minutes, making lightsaber noises throughout. Our Q friends chuckled at us with no trace of mockery or derision.

Why is the difference so glaring? Isn't 18 supposed to be an age where you're not entirely mature, and still have leeway to act like a kid sometimes? Then why was my 18-year-old girlfriend so uptight and boring (which made me wary of heterosexual relationships to this day, despite me being straight), while my 40-year-old friend is so laid-back and fun?

Was it the alcohol, where me and my girlfriend were stone-cold sober at age 18, while me and my friend this year were pretty drunk, and therefore felt freer to act silly? Was it the politics, where me and my girlfriend were passive liberals, while me and by friend this year were hard-right Biden-hating conservatives, and therefore felt united by such views, which made childish behaviors a part of the uniting factor? Was it simply being older, and therefore not caring what people think, and doing silly-looking, harmless things just because they feel fun at the moment?

Probably the last one [being older and not caring what people think] is most likely, but I am saddened you have fallen into the Qanon sh*t, its no good.

Don't knock it till you try it. QAnon saved me from months of social isolation, and helped me find new like-minded friends. Truths I can say within the group, such as Covid being made in a lab with George Soros's money and Anthony Fauci's instructions, I'd get punched in the face or yelled at for saying in the liberal society. Facebook suspended me many times for posting those facts; I shut down my account and migrated to Signal. The men in the group are mellow and accepting, and the women are fun and playful---nowhere near what I expected from hard-right conservatives before 2020. Two people are even on anti-anxiety pills, like I'm now on antidepressants. I am very happy to have them in my life today. Come to think of it, friends brought together by dark times, be it a war or Biden-19, tend to be the closest.

One other reason I forgot to mention. When I went to that concert in college, I was socially awkward. So everything I did looked and felt awkward. Plus, I had zero sexual experience, so being on a date added to the awkwardness. So... when I initiated that glow stick fight, it looked so cringeworthy (to my girlfriend), that she berated me for starting it. Conversely, when I was at the concert in [neighboring state] with my Q group, I was full confident and 100% sure of myself. Plus, it was 4 days after I sexed an escort. So my confidence was through the roof! So... when I initiated a glow stick fight with the 40-year-old friend, it looked goofy and silly, but totally relaxed and natural, and she liked it. In other words, the difference was my own fault, in a way.

Oh okay but if women are more concerned with long term then, then wouldn't looks become less important even, because there are more important things for long term to work?

Ideally, women want long-term commitment with a very good-looking man. But because such men have numerous options, and women only go for top 20% of men, it's mathematically impossible to have one-to-one pairings between all women and just topmost men.

So... women turn to a dual-pairing strategy: "alpha sex, beta cash". In other words, they have passionate sex with alpha males, and turn to beta males for things like attention, romantic dinners, presents, and emotional comfort. And in some cases, the beta raises Alpha, Jr.

Oh if I said anything that was out of line, I apologize.