Blog post on the epidemic of forced celibacy in males

Post Reply New Topic

I used to see women as a piece of pathetic, brain-dead meat that I tried desperatly to get into bed. Then I got my diagnosis, and thankfully I'm free of all that.

Someone who just admitted to being borderline asexual really shouldn't be commenting on what the rest of us should or shouldn't want when it comes to sex. This is like someone who has no sense of taste criticizing people who complain about terrible food, or someone who is tone-deaf criticizing those who seek great music. YOU REALLY DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT.

For those of us, especially male, who have the drive, it is OVERWHELMING. It is on our minds all the time, and not because we are freaks or perverts, but because it is the primary drive of living organisms. You are the anomaly, not us. The porn industry makes more money than the mainstream entertainment industry, and if you pile on other forms of adult entertainment, it vastly eclipses other industries. Why? Because f*****g is what living things do, and at the end of the day, all our genes want to do is reproduce. You don't need it? Great! Then you can ignore the rest of this thread and others on the topic, but don't try to act like you are superior to our mode of life or that our needs are unimportant.

I envy DemonAbyss in a way if he truly is asexual. 100 percent of my internal problems are women related. I worked hard to start enjoying myself and life, only to realize "Well there's this one temporary issue that will always linger until you're about 50."

you people need a hobby or a job or something

i don't judge all men in the manner that you 'used to' judge all women. i only judge those men that have these attitudes.

Yes, the drive is overwhelming, but most of us can ignore it.

Have one, thanks -- I probably make more than you.

Just re-read the article, but this time found myself cringing. Guess when I first read it, I was in the space of Good to see someone talking about things most people are afraid to mention, yada yada yada. Sadly, something about it played into the sense of loss I've had for some time now. It doesn't mean it was an accurate or well-written article! You know you really have a problem with bitterness and who knows what else when you don't even care that a particular article takes things to extremes!

Very good post. I agree with most points. The big thing missing, and which most people who analyze the "nice guy" issue are missing, is that girls are right in running away from nice guys, they do not make women happy, they don't know how to be careful with a woman's feelings, how to create romance and passion, how to handle emotions, how to make life exciting.





Indeed, society has changed a lot since the 50's and it is creating masses of insane individuals. This is nobody's fault, it's just how things slowly and naturally evolved and somewhere down the line, a reaction will happen. It may have started already.

You have to understand that a lot of people on this website are fake and will say anything they need to control and manipulate the population.

People:

I'm the most whitebread person you will ever meet. I don't drink, smoke, or do drugs. I live with elderly family and take care of elderly cats. I am craniofacially deformed and overweight. I wear a blazer, always, without fail. I treat women like friends. I advertise my virginity and say I don't date. I have lousy posture. I rarely curse. Get the idea?

I have had to turn down sex on multiple occasions, and that was when I wasn't even looking for it.

The issue is not "douchebag" vs. "nice guy." The issue is "guys who put themselves out there" vs. "guys who don't bother to ask."

People with autism-spectrum disorders are more likely to have social anxiety, and people with social anxiety are less likely to put themselves out there. That's all there is to it.

Don't believe the hype. And don't feel ANY pity for George Sodini, ever. Women found him creepy, and in the end he proved that they were right to do so.


Cheers,

TH

must be nice. reminds me of that bodyguard suing britney spears because she bent over naked in front of him trying to entice him- IOW some people have all the luck, and the rest of us never luck out and get britney spears [or anybody like her] bending over naked in front of us to entertain us.



a prostitute would not even let me ask her- she shoed me away with "[eff] off, [effing] creep!"



i pity him in the same manner that i pity ted kaczynski, and both of those people absolutely hated to be pitied. what irony. i pity them both because they had to be born into a world where they didn't belong, and it had tragic results for everybody concerned. my pity for them doesn't mean i think what they did was anything but evil. i pity them because i see a big piece of me in both of those people. it is all just a tragedy, a giant train wreck.

Very interesting thread.

I remember when the massacre happened, it was very disturbing because I could relate to the murderer's utter frustration.

I am a reasonably decent looking guy, I try to dress with some style, I am free of offensive odors, I am self-employed with a significantly above-average income, I've been interviewed by Forbes and received an award from the Wall Street Journal - in other words, I am reasonably well-compensated and successful for an Aspie.

And I can't get a date to save my life.

I guess the difference with me is that I don't blame women or society or anyone else for my predicament, I just constantly try to keep improving myself, roll with the punches, and hope for the best.

At the end of the day, there is much more to life than romantic relationships and every guy like me ought to try and maximize those things.

Involuntary celibacy sucks, but it's not the end of the world...

That's definitely part of it, although there are many guys who become too afraid to ask because they've copped nothing but rejections. That doesn't necessarily mean they should give up, although they may want to change the sort of environs they're looking in - whether moving to another town/city, or joining a specific group in their local area, I dunno. It may be wise to hold off from putting yourself "out there" for a period of time anyway, until you feel ready to risk rejection again.

Whatever the merits of the article (or lack thereof), what it suggested to me is that what women usually find attractive has changed, and there have been forces of conditioning somewhere along the line. And more broadly, it seems to be a part of society dumbing down, and being dragged into a lowest-common-denominator gutter mentality. It goes the other way: men are being conditioned to drool over tarted-up skanks and bimbos, or risk their sexuality or manhood being questioned (usually by other males), so frankly, neither sex is off the hook.

i could see you getting lots of offers. from what i have seen on the WP boards, you are thoughtful, respectful, supportive, and kind. and you confidently and nicely speak your opinions. these things go very very far with many women.

i think it also helps that you were not *looking* for the sex - that sometimes has the effect of making a man a more desirable partner.

it reminds me of a guy i work with. IRL he is like you (tomhead) seem to be on WP (sorry - i have to word it that way because i think nobody can truly know anybody else online). this guy is content to stay single, if that is what life offers. he enjoys his work and hobbies, stays busy, and connects closely with friends and family. but he has to turn down offers all of the time.

i don't want to describe his physical looks because he is a special friend to me, and i don't want to be either insulting or effusively positive about him. neither would be helpful in this post. suffice it to say that he does not look like a movie star, and does not find it advantageous to work out at the gym (though he does some cycling), but he has some physical features that appear striking (baby blue eyes, deep voice). the women he knows make the same money as he does, so they are not gold-diggers.

when he talks to a woman, she feels important and singled out, like she is the most important person in the room. he cares to make a woman feel comfortable, happy and secure in his presence. he is also very funny and optimistic. but he isn't some suave NT - he definitely has aspie traits, though he doesn't see the point in labelling himself. he was also severely bullied in school, but does not have any sort of victim mentality.

in the last 6 months, he has had 5 women go after him, some of whom only wanted sex. the rest he could have slept with eventualy if he chose to date them, as they were very interested. but he turned them down because he can't separate love and sex in his mind. so if he doesn't feel that after one or more dates it is going to end in a loving relationship, he doesn't go anywhere with them. and since he isn't even sure if he ever really wants to get married, he doesn't want to lead them on.

my point is that looks, money, etc. are way less important, to a significant number of women, than traits such as courtesy, kindness, humour, etc...

I bolded a very important bit. I was also not surprised by Tomhead's post. His posts project a very calm, serene, grounded, not desperate demeanor. Dare I say "confident"? That word has been kicked around a lot. But grounded, non-desperate serenity is its own kind of confidence and that actually is an attractive quality.