If a partner doesn't lead to happiness...

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emlion
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26 Nov 2010, 7:38 pm

ah well misery loves company.

i think people who have had real hardships are more 'survivors', i suppose?

Sallamandrina
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26 Nov 2010, 7:39 pm

Kilroy wrote:

I am just so sick of people complaining about BS problems
people here have real problems and oddly they don't go around everywhere whining constantly
which is pretty f****, people with real problems respect others and don't spam everywhere with their problems (even though they have real problems) and don't expect everyone to be miserable

I wouldn't make it a rule, but I've noticed the worse their problems are, the less they whine about it.

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"Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live" (Oscar Wilde)

Kilroy
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26 Nov 2010, 7:40 pm

nicer and who want to get better and progress to become happy
and I have seen many good people overcome hardships and stuff and its a good thing to read

Mark198423
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27 Nov 2010, 7:12 pm

ToadOfSteel wrote:

I do have to clarify something: I didn't feel "happy" in my last relationship, in the sense of feeling all giddy and bubbly the way Erisad is now (actually that's how I felt when I was on prozac, and I hated that feeling because it was unnatural), but rather the best way to describe how I felt in a relationship was "content". Out of the 6 billion+ hostile folks out there, there was one that I could talk to and be completely myself. I didn't have to be someone that wasn't myself around her (and to a lesser extent, I still don't, even a year after breakup), nor did I have to hide behind a pseudonym (as I do here). Someone that I could trust so deeply, especially in a time when I can't even trust my own family anymore, meant the world to me.

Once again, I can relate to much of this. All I want is that someone I can be myself with and share my life with. I miss having someone special to buy christmas presents for at this time too.

Mark198423
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27 Nov 2010, 7:22 pm

Kilroy wrote:

erisad you've done nothing wrong, sure its not as exciting as explosions and stuff
but you have every right to be happy and stuff
and if the men, like toad don't like it
well they can go f**k themselves
just because they're sad doesn't mean you have to be
enjoy life, and have fun! And don't censor yourself for anyone

To be fair, this is his thread about being unhappy in being single. This is a support site for people with issues that can effect getting a relationship so is the perfect place to post about it. It's out of line to talk like that about people here for that reason. I've got nothing against Erisad but I do think talking of her exploits in her new relationship in this thread can easily appear to be rubbing it in.
So if you don't like unhappy threads, you can go f**k yourself, nobody asked you to read or post in any. I'm sick of seeing people berated for expressing sorrow - it's a support site, get used to it. If you don't like to see it, don't read it or respond to it - stick to your own happy threads.

nilescrane
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27 Nov 2010, 7:23 pm

The reason some guys on here are bitter about Erisad is because since she's a woman, she's overlooked for her low self-esteem and depression...while guys on here that are her male equivalent have no options and are treated poorly by women. But whining about it isn't going to do anything.

Last edited by nilescrane on 27 Nov 2010, 8:33 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Mark198423
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27 Nov 2010, 7:32 pm

emlion wrote:

ah well misery loves company.

i think people who have had real hardships are more 'survivors', i suppose?

Is that not a little harsh? I never talk about my problems with real people but I do discuss things on here to vent but also to gain outside opinion as my tinking isn't always as logical when contemplating my own issues rather than someone else's. Why does that make me less than anyone else? Have you never discussed your hardships on here?

nilescrane
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27 Nov 2010, 7:35 pm

Mark, if you want a girlfriend so bad, you can get one if you truly want one. Go on a free dating site and there are hundreds of local unattractive, unwanted, left out women that are looking for a boyfriend to understand them.

I'm not sure if you're one of those guys that wants a woman out of your league, but it's not going to happen unless you become rich.

I can't feel sorry for guys when there are women out there that are just as lonely. It's hypocritical for a guy to complain about not having a "certain" woman that is out of their league.

Mark198423
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27 Nov 2010, 7:38 pm

Kilroy wrote:

I am just so sick of people complaining about BS problems
people here have real problems and oddly they don't go around everywhere whining constantly
which is pretty f****, people with real problems respect others and don't spam everywhere with their problems (even though they have real problems) and don't expect everyone to be miserable

From what I've seen in many responses from you is a bit of an attitude problem more than anything else. Why do you constantly have to respond in this manor to people's issues, just because you don't experience the same? Do you expect everyone to be a cardboard cutout of each other, talking about the same issues that we all share?

Mark198423
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27 Nov 2010, 7:45 pm

nilescrane wrote:

So you know what I want in a woman? I'm not looking for anyone more attractive than what I've already had, I do want someone I find attractive but as far as I know I'm not aiming out of my league. My issue is that I can't initiate anything as I not only stuggle with face to face communication but also written and telephone. Unless it's something like this where I'm just stating opinion or with people I know (to a degree).

Oh, and I'm not looking for your pitty 'pal', you're in the wrong thread.

nilescrane
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27 Nov 2010, 8:20 pm

Mark198423 wrote:

nilescrane wrote:

Struggling with face to face communication is an instant turnoff to the average woman. Even if you had model looks to back it up, you still wouldn't get very far. Find a girl that isn't that attractive and isn't the most social.

Similar people date similar people.

The ugly, awkward guy gets the pretty social girl only happens in movies.

nthach
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27 Nov 2010, 8:32 pm

nilescrane wrote:

The reason some guys on here are bitter about Erisad is because since because she's a woman, she's overlooked for her low self-esteem and depression...while guys on here that are her male equivalent have no options and are treated poorly by women. But whining about it isn't going to do anything.

TOS, and nick007 need to think outside of the box, IMO.

One side of my is depressed that I can't talk to women nor approach them for fear of scaring them when my aspie tendencies show up, but the other side of me is happy Erisad found someone. While I'm working on myself so I look better in the eye of women, it's depressing to think that I'm not getting any. But then again, I have no problem talking to most women in the things I do - weird.

Mark198423
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27 Nov 2010, 8:33 pm

nilescrane wrote:

Clearly you didn't read my post. I had a pretty hot girlfriend for eighteen months and was fine. Interaction gets better once I know someone, it's arranging a meeting or initiating contact that are the issues. I not even necessarily looking for someone of the same calibre as my ex but please stop telling me to aim below what attracts me. It's unhelpful and unwanted.

nilescrane
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27 Nov 2010, 8:38 pm

Mark198423 wrote:

nilescrane wrote:

It's being realistic. Just because you got lucky once doesn't mean it will happen again.

Think of what you're doing: "Wah wah I'm mad at the world because I'm autistic and not great looking and don't have a hot girlfriend." Do you realize how that sounds?

And if you wanted it that badly, you'd try harder. I personally use the Bud Bundy method (in person and online) and just talk to any girl that gets my attention that I don't have to force a conversation with and play the numbers game. Whining on a website on a saturday night isn't helping and is just making you look bad to other people on the site.

Mark198423
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27 Nov 2010, 9:08 pm

nilescrane wrote:

Sorry, but when did I say I'm not 'great looking'? I no narcissist but I'm not too down on my looks, my body could use a little work but I'm not all that dissatisfied. You go ahead and use whatever methaod you like, I certainly won't be immitating as you're the last person I'd like to come across like. Besides that, it clearly isn't working for you as all you're doing is sitting on a website on a saturday night whining about someone else whining.

I couldn't care less if I look bad to others on the site - the ones that would look down on me for it are probably not the type I'd care to please too much anyway. I've purely joined a thread which was written by someon experiencing similar issues as me and at the same time responded to some peoples responses that I took exception to. If you have nothing positive (and in context) to contribute, why contribute anything?

nilescrane
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27 Nov 2010, 9:15 pm

If that's you in the pic, you should severely lower your standards. Not saying it to be mean, just giving you a reality check.

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