Best friend confessed his attraction for me. Ick. Help?

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What an ass. You don't need a friend like him. Good on Stefan for defending you.

I'm a little late to the party here, but I'm so glad everything turned out OK.

I've always thought Em was awesome, funny how sometimes the only person who can't see how terrific someone is is oneself.

Stefan sounds like a really good guy, I'm glad you found each other.

The only thing I worry about is the so-called "best friend". Sometimes after the drama of these situations subsides, the motivation to end a toxic relationship subsides too - it's just so much easier to "forget" about what happened and have things get back to "normal".

Of course, you're just setting yourself up for the whole thing to repeat itself. This is why many abusive relationships can inexplicably go on for years.

I hope you find the strength/support to do the right thing, whatever it is...

Good luck!

Be very careful, he is likely being selfish in ways that aren't apparent, especially considering how he acted when you two talked to him (calling you names and denying it). I'd tell Stefan everything he says to you because Stefan will be able to see things that you might miss being AS. It'll also cut a lot of crap when he realizes he's not just talking to you (who he's been playing) but that he's also always addressing Stefan (who I imagine the same games will not work on) even when he's talking to you alone. My husband plays that same role for me - sort of like a filter and he can give me warnings because he sees things in people's motives I never ever would have seen until it was too late.

Yeah. When we go out and someone will say something and i'll read it one way and he'll read it another. Then when he points it out, it's obvious. I'll be careful. I just told him i'd talk soon, so he'd go away.

He's very persistant. I will tell Stef when he gets back.

It's the first time i've seen him get angry at a person was at my friend. I don't like it when they fight. But i'm going to try my best to keep away. I need to take control of it, and stop him. I've cut contact with all the other people who've hit me. It just seems so much harder this time..

Hm. You know, I bet you could block his phone number and that would make it a little easier. Then you wouldn't be aware of how persistent he's trying to be.

That's a really good idea. I never ever thought about that.
Ah, yes I can do that.
Thank you.

I am skilled in telling people to get lost....to put it nicely.

Why is it that you have been holding onto this person as a friend? Is he the only friend you have, other than Stefan?
You said you're staying in and cleaning your flat while you're alone. That is a productive way to make use of your time, but perhaps you should put more effort into going out and meeting people. I know its hard for people like us to do that, but if you spend enough time in public, NTs will approach you and start conversation. For me, its hard to approach new people to start a conversation, but its easy when they do the ice breaking.
I'm still new on hear and don't know you as well as some the other people on here, so I do hope that this might help you.

he is my only friend- well was?
i have people i can talk to, but i just get all nervous and weird around them.
i'm okay friends with a lot of stefans friends - he has tons.
i don't mind staying in. and i have to socialise at work so i'm not lonely all the time.

Well so much for giving the guy the benefit of the doubt.

People who hit your, or physically or mentally abuse you in any way are not your friends. You do NOT need people like that in your life.

Sweetheart, there is no such thing as a male best friend. What do you think? That he is Queer or something?
He loves you.

Remember that old song? "Twenty four years of living next door to Alice"

Of course he loves you. Either put him out of his misery by telling him that there is no chance or perhaps rethink whether he might be a good partner for you after all.

If he hits her he sure doesn't love her. He might feel attracted to her, but that's not the same thing.

I have a straight, male best friend. He's engaged and rather crazy about her.

We've known each other for 15 years.

Not all guys are as desperate as some of the guys on here. There are many guys who don't want to date any woman who will talk to them.

Firstly, please don't call me 'sweetheart' - i'm an actual person.
& of course there is - I identify with males much easier, most forget i'm even female.
Just maybe not him anymore.

I'd just like to clarify that just because I like my best friend, that doesn't mean I am desperate and want to date any woman who will talk to me.

I understand that. I was addressing others here to whom such a comment would apply.