Question for those who don't fit the 'perfect' woman

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emlion
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27 Mar 2011, 2:13 pm

it's generally number one in my experience.



TeaEarlGreyHot
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27 Mar 2011, 2:47 pm

emlion wrote:
it's generally number one in my experience.


That's been my experience, too. For me, I'm always just stating fact. I don't fish for compliments. I wouldn't even know how... lol


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Erisad
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27 Mar 2011, 3:09 pm

I'm usually stating a fact when I point out my weight. According to every body measurement system out there, I'm overweight. So there really isn't any point in denying it. I've been busting my butt to lose weight though and gone down almost 30 pounds in the past seven months. I'm wearing pants 2 sizes smaller than I was last year. So yaaaaaaaay for me! :D



zen_mistress
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27 Mar 2011, 5:04 pm

zen_mistress wrote:
Yes I am drunk and yes I also haven't find the right one, who appreciated my lack of grammar when drunk, my excess fat and my party girl personality which will embarrass some people, and my hypersenses


Laz wrote:
Well, i'm convinced, get your coat love you've pulled 8)


Thank you. Not easy to pull here in New Zealand :x . And its 83% humidity.


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zen_mistress
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27 Mar 2011, 5:10 pm

Laz wrote:
MCalavera wrote:
What hale_bopp needs is a good long hug.

I believe the following is what is required

A self esteem

A sense of self

Some kind of spine

Quit being wrong planet's number one emo. She's like a blonde version of Robert Smith with all her whinny moaning
.


Honestly though I think you would think I was whiny if you knew me in real life, I just censor my whines online as it is easy to delete whiny sentences, but not so easy to take back a whiny sounding spoken sentence.


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Laz
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27 Mar 2011, 5:25 pm

zen_mistress wrote:
Laz wrote:
MCalavera wrote:
What hale_bopp needs is a good long hug.

I believe the following is what is required

A self esteem

A sense of self

Some kind of spine

Quit being wrong planet's number one emo. She's like a blonde version of Robert Smith with all her whinny moaning
.


Honestly though I think you would think I was whiny if you knew me in real life, I just censor my whines online as it is easy to delete whiny sentences, but not so easy to take back a whiny sounding spoken sentence.


I can tolerate whinning in certain doses. Moaning on the otherhand, its like water torture of the brain. My ex could moan for england.......thats open to another kind of interpretation as well :lol: :oops:

Thing is old bopp here was a miserable cow back in 2004/05 time and she's still a miserable cow in 2011. I think if she was happy and satisfied she'd be bored. Some people just can't be pleased. To each their own.


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zen_mistress
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27 Mar 2011, 5:41 pm

What is your issue with her? She is going through a bad time, a lot of people use this board to get help, especially when people IRL can be less than helpful

As for moaning, well when I travelled through Europe, I whined from one end of it to the other, about the hostel, about waiting for trains, the heat, the cold, getting bad food in a restaurant, annoyingly loud roommates, dirty toilets, I complained about it all. My ex could tell you... in fact he probably could tell you, he lives in London. I was 25 then, I dont know but if something bothers me I feel the need to express myself, I cannot understand how people keep things to themselves. I try and complain less now though but it can mean biting my tongue a lot.


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Laz
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27 Mar 2011, 6:13 pm

The ownership of the issues lies solely with her. And she's welcome to it. Misery loves company

I'm of the school of thought that says quality wins over quantity in vocalising discourse. The right time and the right place to make such points not constant points of contention. Basically pick your battles that are worth fighting over. Therefore when you come to deliver the feedback the weight is more sufficient and taken more seriously then simply dismissed as part of your normal demenour, the constant emission of noise that comes with the presence of your person. But i guess if your a tolerant type you tend to take such things with a pinch of salt they don't really registere as annoying in the mind. What annoys one person will be perfectly grand to the next, so its simply down to you as an individual.


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hale_bopp
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27 Mar 2011, 9:32 pm

emuman100 wrote:
2. They are making a literal statement. They are aware that they are fat and are merely stating a fact. "My bum is big" is sometimes just a statement of fact. :wink: In my case, it's true!


+1

Fat can be lost, and It's really down to the person to do that.



hale_bopp
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27 Mar 2011, 9:41 pm

zen_mistress wrote:
What is your issue with her? She is going through a bad time, a lot of people use this board to get help, especially when people IRL can be less than helpful

As for moaning, well when I travelled through Europe, I whined from one end of it to the other, about the hostel, about waiting for trains, the heat, the cold, getting bad food in a restaurant, annoyingly loud roommates, dirty toilets, I complained about it all. My ex could tell you... in fact he probably could tell you, he lives in London. I was 25 then, I dont know but if something bothers me I feel the need to express myself, I cannot understand how people keep things to themselves. I try and complain less now though but it can mean biting my tongue a lot.


I think he has a point actually.
My view on life is unhealthy, and whining on the internet or messenger clients isn't going to help, it never has in the past. I've been given some good advice in the positivity thread it's time to heed it.



zen_mistress
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27 Mar 2011, 10:34 pm

Laz wrote:
The ownership of the issues lies solely with her. And she's welcome to it. Misery loves company

I'm of the school of thought that says quality wins over quantity in vocalising discourse. The right time and the right place to make such points not constant points of contention. Basically pick your battles that are worth fighting over. Therefore when you come to deliver the feedback the weight is more sufficient and taken more seriously then simply dismissed as part of your normal demenour, the constant emission of noise that comes with the presence of your person. But i guess if your a tolerant type you tend to take such things with a pinch of salt they don't really registere as annoying in the mind. What annoys one person will be perfectly grand to the next, so its simply down to you as an individual.


I guess that is more an introvert's way of doing things. It is a lot easier to pick your battles and plan what you are going to say when you dont feel compelled to say a lot.

I feel as if I am going to explode if I dont express myself, especially if something is bothering me. But I have learnt in the past few years, that of course that is not possible and will get me into a whole lot of trouble, so I have to keep things to myself if I dont want to alienate others.

I dont know if I have really changed on the inside, but I guess I have become a bit more indifferent to things that bother me, and that helps.


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Todesking
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27 Mar 2011, 10:59 pm

hale_bopp wrote:
Todesking wrote:
hale_bopp wrote:
Her waist would tuck in if she was standing like the girl next to her. Front on the girl with the noticable waist; would be less noticable.


I know what you mean, my former co-workers use to tease me for being inshape everywhere except my gut. I walk everywhere up to 2-5 miles a day so my legs and butt are firm but my belly looks pregnate. They were trying to make me join a gym because they were afraid I would get diabetes so one of my co-workers had his pregnate wife come in to stand next to me so they could take a photo of me next to her. I could not believe I how close I was to being as round in the center as her. Her husband is the same height and build as me and he joined a gym and was looking for someone to go with but for some reason I chickened out. Now I have diabetes so I should have went with him. :roll:


Stomach fat is the worst type of fat you can have. I am prone to sugar problems etc and should be excersising for my health not my looks.

Hope everything is going ok for you.


The doctor has me on medication for the diabetes but he is confident it would go away if I exercised.


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hale_bopp
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27 Mar 2011, 11:39 pm

Todesking wrote:
hale_bopp wrote:
Todesking wrote:
hale_bopp wrote:
Her waist would tuck in if she was standing like the girl next to her. Front on the girl with the noticable waist; would be less noticable.


I know what you mean, my former co-workers use to tease me for being inshape everywhere except my gut. I walk everywhere up to 2-5 miles a day so my legs and butt are firm but my belly looks pregnate. They were trying to make me join a gym because they were afraid I would get diabetes so one of my co-workers had his pregnate wife come in to stand next to me so they could take a photo of me next to her. I could not believe I how close I was to being as round in the center as her. Her husband is the same height and build as me and he joined a gym and was looking for someone to go with but for some reason I chickened out. Now I have diabetes so I should have went with him. :roll:


Stomach fat is the worst type of fat you can have. I am prone to sugar problems etc and should be excersising for my health not my looks.

Hope everything is going ok for you.


The doctor has me on medication for the diabetes but he is confident it would go away if I exercised.


Yep excersise is a great medicine for a lot of mental and physical health issues. In about an hour I'm going to go for some jogs up hills. :D



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28 Mar 2011, 1:42 am

Bethie wrote:
Because mine's considered gross, and I have no clue what man fantasizes about a fat pale woman with stretch marks. :?


Don't be putting yourself down. You're beautiful, and from what you describe, you probably have a very attractive body. Just because you are not tanned, or as you say "pale", doesn't mean you're any less attractive than if you were tanned.



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28 Mar 2011, 8:25 pm

Well, the woman I was thinking of when I first posted this works out in a gym. So at least she is getting in shape or is in shape while being Rubenesque.



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30 Mar 2011, 9:21 am

all_white wrote:
I worked with a lady who decided to have lypo to get rid of baby weight. She complained that she'd tried every diet, and none of them had worked. (Bizarrly, she announced this to us while she was stuffing a do-nut into her mouth in the staff canteen. Yes, really. A do-nut. I couldn't help laughing, and she glared at me indignantly and asked me what was so funny.



So a woman allowing herself a single donut (quite possibly out of understandable resignation) negates years or even decades of dieting?

8O


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