Can we just get rid of this forum?
He's come to terms with the fact that he'll never find a mate because of how pathetic and inferior of a human being he is. (no disrespect, I'm comparing to normal "NT" people or high functioning autistics/AS)
Even if he had a "positive attitude" he wouldn't be able to get a date because of un-attractiveness and low functioning. No decent-looking women would ever go out with someone like him. (or me)
It's not women fault, it's just the fact that we were born inferior/inadequate and have to live with the loneliness/disappointments. It's unfair but it's reality. I mean who could blame you if you have a negative outlook on the world.
Guess what, though? I have accepted the fact that I will never have a mate, either. And I tried and tried and tried and tried, probably WAY more than you and LonerMutant (OP). But I'm not bitter about it. It's horrifying if you choose to look at it that way, but there is SO MUCH to life out there. Not everyone has to live your s**t attitude, even given the same affliction/circumstances.
The majority of the posts I see here are from desperate men who are unable to live up to "being normal". If you are tormented by your sex drive, either stick to porn or get chemically castrated! Quit bothering people with the fact that you can't get laid. Yes, I know I've been the same way, but I've accepted that I'm unable to get anyone into bed.
This is awesome because you just described what I strongly suspect to be yourself.
Also, almost every human being, or mammal for that manner, is genetically programmed to have sex and reproduce. I used to study biology. They teach us these things. It's called instinct. I have Asperger's, I am also human. I have animal instincts. I am not like a unicellular organism that will reproduce via meiosis.
Lastly, I find your attitude to be highly negative. Have you considered that people, or in particular, women do not feel inspired to socialize with you because of your negative attitude? This is based off of observation. I for one, found your post to be highly unpleasant and if I was to judge you solely based on it I know that I would not wish to socialize with you. There are some men out there that pique my interest because they seem like genuinely interesting people. I am somewhat anti-social, but I do absolutely love to delve into a conversation about something that I am interested in. Sure, it may seem one sided, but some people like that.
This stuff gets on my nerves. He's been rejected and turned down by women his entire life, how the hell is he supposed to keep a positive attitude. He's most likely lonely, bitter, depressed and frustrated, it's hard NOT to be negative when you feel that way.
He's come to terms with the fact that he'll never find a mate because of how pathetic and inferior of a human being he is. (no disrespect, I'm comparing to normal "NT" people or high functioning autistics/AS)
Even if he had a "positive attitude" he wouldn't be able to get a date because of un-attractiveness and low functioning. No decent-looking women would ever go out with someone like him. (or me)
It's not women fault, it's just the fact that we were born inferior/inadequate and have to live with the loneliness/disappointments. It's unfair but it's reality. I mean who could blame you if you have a negative outlook on the world.
Okay, he's been rejected. Does that give him license to make the rest of us feel like sh*t about ourselves? No, not really.
I'm assuming that his avatar is a picture of him. Given that, he's not a bad looking of a dude. A lot of women would find him attractive. I'm thinking what repels them must be the way that he acts. Given that, there are a lot of courses on independent living and socialization that he could maybe indulge in. I used to be so introverted that I was somewhat of a hermit. I went to school, came home, and sat in my room doing nothing. Then I got over it. I've spent a lot of time and effort learning how to "kind of socialize". I've spent hours with my psychologists (one of which is a specialist in AS) having them teach me how to get along with people. Then I go home and go through scenarios with my roommates and family so I can understand why people react the way they do to me. I took drama classes, those helped me immensely. So much, in fact, that I actually went on to pursue a BA in Dramatic Arts (I specialized in design but still took a lot of acting classes throughout my degree).
A lot of people in my life still know that something is "off" about me, but they get over it because I have a lot to teach them. Sometimes people don't like me. Know what? too effin' bad.
and we were NOT born inadequate or inferior. The fact that you would even SUGGEST this sends me into a rage. It's been proven that using words like that to psychologically barricade yourself away from others will lead to problems like depression and anxiety. I used to be like that. It took me a lot of work, and a lot of convincing, but lately I have been waking up feeling like maybe I have something to offer to the world. I'm not sure what it is yet, but I'm sure that it's there. And because of that I'm okay with the fact that I'm single and not getting laid, because there are other things that I can use to occupy my time that I couldn't do if I was tied down. I'm going to Maui for a month in January, and thats going to be awesome. I'm working on finishing both my degrees, as well as training to be an EMT-Paramedic. I've started my own business with the jewellery that I make in my spare time. I've taught myself how to fluently speak Spanish and now I'm working on French. So I'm a bit different and I'm not really all that great socially, I let people come to me, and they do because I make myself out to be an interesting person. Being alone isn't that bad. It doesn't mean that you're inadequate/inferior/pathetic/unattractive/low functioning/whatever. But thinking that you are and constantly talking about how you are will turn people off from wanting to talk to you (and this doesn't just apply to people on the spectrum. Throughout my life I've known a number of people who have held this attitude, and not surprisingly, they don't have many friends and are not dating or getting laid)
First he can post whatever he wants on this site, as long as it's in the rules. I can give a fly fruit juice about whether or not people feel like s**t or not when I post. I'm going to keep doing it
Do you know what makes me rage, when people like you compare themselves to obviously low functioning people.
I mean, take me for example. I'm basically half-retarded. I'm ugly, slow, uneducated, un-charismatic, and poor. I don't have any special talents and/or skills. I'm very unattractive, I've never been on a date, and I don't have any friends. I can't drive and I can barely bath and take care of myself. (this at age 25 while living at home) I'm not intelligent, as I spent most of my school years in special ed until I dropped in the 9th after repeating twice. I can never hope to attend college and/or graduate twice like yourself.
Me and lonermunant are more or less the same, as normal people can't respect or view people like us as equals. (That's why I routinely get ridiculed/talked down to whenever I go out in public, and no one takes me seriously) We ARE pathetic and inferior losers, and no decent looking female would ever want to be caught talking to someone like us in public, let dating/going out. We have no shot at dating.
I'm going to be alone for the rest of my life. I won't be able visit places like Maui, (because I don't have any friends and I'm poor) and I'll never get into college. I am a half-retarded, special ed, ugly, unattractive, low-functioning, inferior bum and that's why my life is way it is right now, not because of bad attitude.
I can't just get over stuff, it's doesn't work that way. Just please stop comparing yourself to people that are obviously less advanced/developed than you are.
I'm assuming that his avatar is a picture of him. Given that, he's not a bad looking of a dude. A lot of women would find him attractive. I'm thinking what repels them must be the way that he acts. Given that, there are a lot of courses on independent living and socialization that he could maybe indulge in. I used to be so introverted that I was somewhat of a hermit. I went to school, came home, and sat in my room doing nothing. Then I got over it. I've spent a lot of time and effort learning how to "kind of socialize". I've spent hours with my psychologists (one of which is a specialist in AS) having them teach me how to get along with people. Then I go home and go through scenarios with my roommates and family so I can understand why people react the way they do to me. I took drama classes, those helped me immensely. So much, in fact, that I actually went on to pursue a BA in Dramatic Arts (I specialized in design but still took a lot of acting classes throughout my degree).
A lot of people in my life still know that something is "off" about me, but they get over it because I have a lot to teach them. Sometimes people don't like me. Know what? too effin' bad.
and we were NOT born inadequate or inferior. The fact that you would even SUGGEST this sends me into a rage. It's been proven that using words like that to psychologically barricade yourself away from others will lead to problems like depression and anxiety. I used to be like that. It took me a lot of work, and a lot of convincing, but lately I have been waking up feeling like maybe I have something to offer to the world. I'm not sure what it is yet, but I'm sure that it's there. And because of that I'm okay with the fact that I'm single and not getting laid, because there are other things that I can use to occupy my time that I couldn't do if I was tied down. I'm going to Maui for a month in January, and thats going to be awesome. I'm working on finishing both my degrees, as well as training to be an EMT-Paramedic. I've started my own business with the jewellery that I make in my spare time. I've taught myself how to fluently speak Spanish and now I'm working on French. So I'm a bit different and I'm not really all that great socially, I let people come to me, and they do because I make myself out to be an interesting person. Being alone isn't that bad. It doesn't mean that you're inadequate/inferior/pathetic/unattractive/low functioning/whatever. But thinking that you are and constantly talking about how you are will turn people off from wanting to talk to you (and this doesn't just apply to people on the spectrum. Throughout my life I've known a number of people who have held this attitude, and not surprisingly, they don't have many friends and are not dating or getting laid)
Nobody can make you feel bad unless you allow them to.
_________________
Still looking for that blue jean baby queen, prettiest girl I've ever seen.
He's come to terms with the fact that he'll never find a mate because of how pathetic and inferior of a human being he is. (no disrespect, I'm comparing to normal "NT" people or high functioning autistics/AS)
Even if he had a "positive attitude" he wouldn't be able to get a date because of un-attractiveness and low functioning. No decent-looking women would ever go out with someone like him. (or me)
It's not women fault, it's just the fact that we were born inferior/inadequate and have to live with the loneliness/disappointments. It's unfair but it's reality. I mean who could blame you if you have a negative outlook on the world.
Guess what, though? I have accepted the fact that I will never have a mate, either. And I tried and tried and tried and tried, probably WAY more than you and LonerMutant (OP). But I'm not bitter about it. It's horrifying if you choose to look at it that way, but there is SO MUCH to life out there. Not everyone has to live your sh** attitude, even given the same affliction/circumstances.
_________________
Still looking for that blue jean baby queen, prettiest girl I've ever seen.
Sweetleaf
Veteran
Joined: 6 Jan 2011
Age: 36
Gender: Female
Posts: 35,278
Location: Somewhere in Colorado
I'm assuming that his avatar is a picture of him. Given that, he's not a bad looking of a dude. A lot of women would find him attractive. I'm thinking what repels them must be the way that he acts. Given that, there are a lot of courses on independent living and socialization that he could maybe indulge in. I used to be so introverted that I was somewhat of a hermit. I went to school, came home, and sat in my room doing nothing. Then I got over it. I've spent a lot of time and effort learning how to "kind of socialize". I've spent hours with my psychologists (one of which is a specialist in AS) having them teach me how to get along with people. Then I go home and go through scenarios with my roommates and family so I can understand why people react the way they do to me. I took drama classes, those helped me immensely. So much, in fact, that I actually went on to pursue a BA in Dramatic Arts (I specialized in design but still took a lot of acting classes throughout my degree).
A lot of people in my life still know that something is "off" about me, but they get over it because I have a lot to teach them. Sometimes people don't like me. Know what? too effin' bad.
and we were NOT born inadequate or inferior. The fact that you would even SUGGEST this sends me into a rage. It's been proven that using words like that to psychologically barricade yourself away from others will lead to problems like depression and anxiety. I used to be like that. It took me a lot of work, and a lot of convincing, but lately I have been waking up feeling like maybe I have something to offer to the world. I'm not sure what it is yet, but I'm sure that it's there. And because of that I'm okay with the fact that I'm single and not getting laid, because there are other things that I can use to occupy my time that I couldn't do if I was tied down. I'm going to Maui for a month in January, and thats going to be awesome. I'm working on finishing both my degrees, as well as training to be an EMT-Paramedic. I've started my own business with the jewellery that I make in my spare time. I've taught myself how to fluently speak Spanish and now I'm working on French. So I'm a bit different and I'm not really all that great socially, I let people come to me, and they do because I make myself out to be an interesting person. Being alone isn't that bad. It doesn't mean that you're inadequate/inferior/pathetic/unattractive/low functioning/whatever. But thinking that you are and constantly talking about how you are will turn people off from wanting to talk to you (and this doesn't just apply to people on the spectrum. Throughout my life I've known a number of people who have held this attitude, and not surprisingly, they don't have many friends and are not dating or getting laid)
Nobody can make you feel bad unless you allow them to.
I don't think that is quite true, most individuals can only take so much.....feeling bad in my opinion is certainly no excuse to take it out on others. But obviously people experiance mental/physical pain when mentally, emotionally or physically harmed by someone else.....claiming anyone who feels bad about being treated badly allowed it to happen to them just seems to justify the actions of people who made them feel bad in the first place.
_________________
Tis the time to melt the Ice.
I'm assuming that his avatar is a picture of him. Given that, he's not a bad looking of a dude. A lot of women would find him attractive. I'm thinking what repels them must be the way that he acts. Given that, there are a lot of courses on independent living and socialization that he could maybe indulge in. I used to be so introverted that I was somewhat of a hermit. I went to school, came home, and sat in my room doing nothing. Then I got over it. I've spent a lot of time and effort learning how to "kind of socialize". I've spent hours with my psychologists (one of which is a specialist in AS) having them teach me how to get along with people. Then I go home and go through scenarios with my roommates and family so I can understand why people react the way they do to me. I took drama classes, those helped me immensely. So much, in fact, that I actually went on to pursue a BA in Dramatic Arts (I specialized in design but still took a lot of acting classes throughout my degree).
A lot of people in my life still know that something is "off" about me, but they get over it because I have a lot to teach them. Sometimes people don't like me. Know what? too effin' bad.
and we were NOT born inadequate or inferior. The fact that you would even SUGGEST this sends me into a rage. It's been proven that using words like that to psychologically barricade yourself away from others will lead to problems like depression and anxiety. I used to be like that. It took me a lot of work, and a lot of convincing, but lately I have been waking up feeling like maybe I have something to offer to the world. I'm not sure what it is yet, but I'm sure that it's there. And because of that I'm okay with the fact that I'm single and not getting laid, because there are other things that I can use to occupy my time that I couldn't do if I was tied down. I'm going to Maui for a month in January, and thats going to be awesome. I'm working on finishing both my degrees, as well as training to be an EMT-Paramedic. I've started my own business with the jewellery that I make in my spare time. I've taught myself how to fluently speak Spanish and now I'm working on French. So I'm a bit different and I'm not really all that great socially, I let people come to me, and they do because I make myself out to be an interesting person. Being alone isn't that bad. It doesn't mean that you're inadequate/inferior/pathetic/unattractive/low functioning/whatever. But thinking that you are and constantly talking about how you are will turn people off from wanting to talk to you (and this doesn't just apply to people on the spectrum. Throughout my life I've known a number of people who have held this attitude, and not surprisingly, they don't have many friends and are not dating or getting laid)
Nobody can make you feel bad unless you allow them to.
I don't think that is quite true, most individuals can only take so much.....feeling bad in my opinion is certainly no excuse to take it out on others. But obviously people experiance mental/physical pain when mentally, emotionally or physically harmed by someone else.....claiming anyone who feels bad about being treated badly allowed it to happen to them just seems to justify the actions of people who made them feel bad in the first place.
Wow, what a way to misunderstand my words.
Look, if someone is constantly negative and makes you feel bad about yourself you have two choices.
1) get the f**k away from them
2) stay and allow their attitude to continue to affect you negatively
This isn't such a hard concept. No, we are no responsible for what others do/say, but we are responsible for ourselves and how we react. If you feel you're reaching your limit, back away.
_________________
Still looking for that blue jean baby queen, prettiest girl I've ever seen.
He's come to terms with the fact that he'll never find a mate because of how pathetic and inferior of a human being he is. (no disrespect, I'm comparing to normal "NT" people or high functioning autistics/AS)
Even if he had a "positive attitude" he wouldn't be able to get a date because of un-attractiveness and low functioning. No decent-looking women would ever go out with someone like him. (or me)
It's not women fault, it's just the fact that we were born inferior/inadequate and have to live with the loneliness/disappointments. It's unfair but it's reality. I mean who could blame you if you have a negative outlook on the world.
Guess what, though? I have accepted the fact that I will never have a mate, either. And I tried and tried and tried and tried, probably WAY more than you and LonerMutant (OP). But I'm not bitter about it. It's horrifying if you choose to look at it that way, but there is SO MUCH to life out there. Not everyone has to live your sh** attitude, even given the same affliction/circumstances.
How can you compare your situation to mine/lonermuntant. It's just appalling. You have been with TONs of people. You have dated numerous times and have even been married. You're attractive (never seen a picture, just going with how you described yourself), people enjoy your company and like being around you. You're also pretty smart. I'm sure you take pride in those things.
I am hideously ugly (tons of females have to me that) I'm not smart and I'm slow (tons of people [male and female] have told me that over the course of my life) I'm 25 and I haven't so much as a phone number from a girl/woman.
Just imagine yourself being so ugly/repulsive that any member of the opposite sex (even same sex as friends) want nothing to do with you. Just imagine haven't not dated/touched/kissed a male at all at your age (considering how hyper-sexual you are) I don't think I'm exaggerating when I say you probably would have went insane. The loneliness, depression, bitterness, despair, and frustration from not haven't had sex at all would've been to much
I just gave out an example, I don't crave sex and wouldn't want it until I'm married. I do crave love though, and the thought of someone actually wanting to be around me for an extended period of time, enjoying my company. I'd just want to experience that once in my life, however unlikely it is.
Oh and one more thing, I really resent the fact that you said I haven't tried. I have to tried to talk to tons of girls/women, and I've been rejected (also humiliated and ridiculed) every single time. I don't have any attractive qualities (don't even have to list them) and most of them view me as a repulsive weirdo. Can you blame me for being bitter/having a negative attitude?
It's just insulting that you would compare your situation to mine. It's nothing alike. People ACTUALLY want to be around you.
1) get the f**k away from them
2) stay and allow their attitude to continue to affect you negatively
This isn't such a hard concept. No, we are no responsible for what others do/say, but we are responsible for ourselves and how we react. If you feel you're reaching your limit, back away.
I agree, but you can't get away if you have to live with them.
Sweetleaf
Veteran
Joined: 6 Jan 2011
Age: 36
Gender: Female
Posts: 35,278
Location: Somewhere in Colorado
I'm assuming that his avatar is a picture of him. Given that, he's not a bad looking of a dude. A lot of women would find him attractive. I'm thinking what repels them must be the way that he acts. Given that, there are a lot of courses on independent living and socialization that he could maybe indulge in. I used to be so introverted that I was somewhat of a hermit. I went to school, came home, and sat in my room doing nothing. Then I got over it. I've spent a lot of time and effort learning how to "kind of socialize". I've spent hours with my psychologists (one of which is a specialist in AS) having them teach me how to get along with people. Then I go home and go through scenarios with my roommates and family so I can understand why people react the way they do to me. I took drama classes, those helped me immensely. So much, in fact, that I actually went on to pursue a BA in Dramatic Arts (I specialized in design but still took a lot of acting classes throughout my degree).
A lot of people in my life still know that something is "off" about me, but they get over it because I have a lot to teach them. Sometimes people don't like me. Know what? too effin' bad.
and we were NOT born inadequate or inferior. The fact that you would even SUGGEST this sends me into a rage. It's been proven that using words like that to psychologically barricade yourself away from others will lead to problems like depression and anxiety. I used to be like that. It took me a lot of work, and a lot of convincing, but lately I have been waking up feeling like maybe I have something to offer to the world. I'm not sure what it is yet, but I'm sure that it's there. And because of that I'm okay with the fact that I'm single and not getting laid, because there are other things that I can use to occupy my time that I couldn't do if I was tied down. I'm going to Maui for a month in January, and thats going to be awesome. I'm working on finishing both my degrees, as well as training to be an EMT-Paramedic. I've started my own business with the jewellery that I make in my spare time. I've taught myself how to fluently speak Spanish and now I'm working on French. So I'm a bit different and I'm not really all that great socially, I let people come to me, and they do because I make myself out to be an interesting person. Being alone isn't that bad. It doesn't mean that you're inadequate/inferior/pathetic/unattractive/low functioning/whatever. But thinking that you are and constantly talking about how you are will turn people off from wanting to talk to you (and this doesn't just apply to people on the spectrum. Throughout my life I've known a number of people who have held this attitude, and not surprisingly, they don't have many friends and are not dating or getting laid)
Nobody can make you feel bad unless you allow them to.
I don't think that is quite true, most individuals can only take so much.....feeling bad in my opinion is certainly no excuse to take it out on others. But obviously people experiance mental/physical pain when mentally, emotionally or physically harmed by someone else.....claiming anyone who feels bad about being treated badly allowed it to happen to them just seems to justify the actions of people who made them feel bad in the first place.
Wow, what a way to misunderstand my words.
Look, if someone is constantly negative and makes you feel bad about yourself you have two choices.
1) get the f**k away from them
2) stay and allow their attitude to continue to affect you negatively
Well when I was a child...I really did not have the option of getting away from my teachers or other kids when they bullied and picked on me(yes there were teachers in on it). Also my home life was not that terribly awesome either and my mom did say and do some things that were rather hurtful but being a child I could not very well move out. What choice would you say I had?
but now onto adulthood, if at all possibly definetly get away from them........but that is not always an option, or it can be a difficult option like say someones co-workers at their job treats them badly but they need the income it might not be so easy to quit the job. So while I agree its best to try and get away from negative situations/people its not ok for people to treat someone badly in the first place.
This isn't such a hard concept. No, we are no responsible for what others do/say, but we are responsible for ourselves and how we react. If you feel you're reaching your limit, back away.
But I guess it was all my fault for experiancing human emotions when pushed to that point.
_________________
Tis the time to melt the Ice.
He's come to terms with the fact that he'll never find a mate because of how pathetic and inferior of a human being he is. (no disrespect, I'm comparing to normal "NT" people or high functioning autistics/AS)
Even if he had a "positive attitude" he wouldn't be able to get a date because of un-attractiveness and low functioning. No decent-looking women would ever go out with someone like him. (or me)
It's not women fault, it's just the fact that we were born inferior/inadequate and have to live with the loneliness/disappointments. It's unfair but it's reality. I mean who could blame you if you have a negative outlook on the world.
Guess what, though? I have accepted the fact that I will never have a mate, either. And I tried and tried and tried and tried, probably WAY more than you and LonerMutant (OP). But I'm not bitter about it. It's horrifying if you choose to look at it that way, but there is SO MUCH to life out there. Not everyone has to live your sh** attitude, even given the same affliction/circumstances.
How can you compare your situation to mine/lonermuntant. It's just appalling. You have been with TONs of people. You have dated numerous times and have even been married. You're attractive (never seen a picture, just going with how you described yourself), people enjoy your company and like being around you. You're also pretty smart. I'm sure you take pride in those things.
I am hideously ugly (tons of females have to me that) I'm not smart and I'm slow (tons of people [male and female] have told me that over the course of my life) I'm 25 and I haven't so much as a phone number from a girl/woman.
Just imagine yourself being so ugly/repulsive that any member of the opposite sex (even same sex as friends) want nothing to do with you. Just imagine haven't not dated/touched/kissed a male at all at your age (considering how hyper-sexual you are) I don't think I'm exaggerating when I say you probably would have went insane. The loneliness, depression, bitterness, despair, and frustration from not haven't had sex at all would've been to much
I just gave out an example, I don't crave sex and wouldn't want it until I'm married. I do crave love though, and the thought of someone actually wanting to be around me for an extended period of time, enjoying my company. I'd just want to experience that once in my life, however unlikely it is.
Oh and one more thing, I really resent the fact that you said I haven't tried. I have to tried to talk to tons of girls/women, and I've been rejected (also humiliated and ridiculed) every single time. I don't have any attractive qualities (don't even have to list them) and most of them view me as a repulsive weirdo. Can you blame me for being bitter/having a negative attitude?
It's just insulting that you would compare your situation to mine. It's nothing alike. People ACTUALLY want to be around you.
Hahahahaha! You know NOTHING about me! Everything I've had, I RISKED MYSELF and MY COMFORT to get, and most of the time I failed (and continue to fail). That's the difference between you and me, one of many. And I know when my failures are due to me (all of them are). I NEVER blame anyone else or society at large. That's just an excuse. A very safe one, because your situation never has to change, then. Good luck with that. I'm sure it will serve you well.
Now now, let's not judge each other. We have no free-will, so no one is at fault for their life.
Let's just keep calm, and accept that we're all miserable failures.
Look, if someone is constantly negative and makes you feel bad about yourself you have two choices.
1) get the f**k away from them
2) stay and allow their attitude to continue to affect you negatively
Well when I was a child...I really did not have the option of getting away from my teachers or other kids when they bullied and picked on me(yes there were teachers in on it). Also my home life was not that terribly awesome either and my mom did say and do some things that were rather hurtful but being a child I could not very well move out. What choice would you say I had?
but now onto adulthood, if at all possibly definetly get away from them........but that is not always an option, or it can be a difficult option like say someones co-workers at their job treats them badly but they need the income it might not be so easy to quit the job. So while I agree its best to try and get away from negative situations/people its not ok for people to treat someone badly in the first place.
This isn't such a hard concept. No, we are no responsible for what others do/say, but we are responsible for ourselves and how we react. If you feel you're reaching your limit, back away.
But I guess it was all my fault for experiancing human emotions when pushed to that point.
Uh, I never said this was a completely black/white issue. But then, I never said anyone was wrong for experiencing human emotion either.
That's okay. I'm obviously not going to be understood or received very well. I'm done.
_________________
Still looking for that blue jean baby queen, prettiest girl I've ever seen.
Sweetleaf
Veteran
Joined: 6 Jan 2011
Age: 36
Gender: Female
Posts: 35,278
Location: Somewhere in Colorado
Look, if someone is constantly negative and makes you feel bad about yourself you have two choices.
1) get the f**k away from them
2) stay and allow their attitude to continue to affect you negatively
Well when I was a child...I really did not have the option of getting away from my teachers or other kids when they bullied and picked on me(yes there were teachers in on it). Also my home life was not that terribly awesome either and my mom did say and do some things that were rather hurtful but being a child I could not very well move out. What choice would you say I had?
but now onto adulthood, if at all possibly definetly get away from them........but that is not always an option, or it can be a difficult option like say someones co-workers at their job treats them badly but they need the income it might not be so easy to quit the job. So while I agree its best to try and get away from negative situations/people its not ok for people to treat someone badly in the first place.
This isn't such a hard concept. No, we are no responsible for what others do/say, but we are responsible for ourselves and how we react. If you feel you're reaching your limit, back away.
But I guess it was all my fault for experiancing human emotions when pushed to that point.
Uh, I never said this was a completely black/white issue. But then, I never said anyone was wrong for experiencing human emotion either.
That's okay. I'm obviously not going to be understood or received very well. I'm done.
Well I was just trying to explain why I disagree with the statement that people only make you feel bad if you let them, there are not always a lot of options to get a away or get people to stop.
_________________
Tis the time to melt the Ice.
He's come to terms with the fact that he'll never find a mate because of how pathetic and inferior of a human being he is. (no disrespect, I'm comparing to normal "NT" people or high functioning autistics/AS)
Even if he had a "positive attitude" he wouldn't be able to get a date because of un-attractiveness and low functioning. No decent-looking women would ever go out with someone like him. (or me)
It's not women fault, it's just the fact that we were born inferior/inadequate and have to live with the loneliness/disappointments. It's unfair but it's reality. I mean who could blame you if you have a negative outlook on the world.
Guess what, though? I have accepted the fact that I will never have a mate, either. And I tried and tried and tried and tried, probably WAY more than you and LonerMutant (OP). But I'm not bitter about it. It's horrifying if you choose to look at it that way, but there is SO MUCH to life out there. Not everyone has to live your sh** attitude, even given the same affliction/circumstances.
How can you compare your situation to mine/lonermuntant. It's just appalling. You have been with TONs of people. You have dated numerous times and have even been married. You're attractive (never seen a picture, just going with how you described yourself), people enjoy your company and like being around you. You're also pretty smart. I'm sure you take pride in those things.
I am hideously ugly (tons of females have to me that) I'm not smart and I'm slow (tons of people [male and female] have told me that over the course of my life) I'm 25 and I haven't so much as a phone number from a girl/woman.
Just imagine yourself being so ugly/repulsive that any member of the opposite sex (even same sex as friends) want nothing to do with you. Just imagine haven't not dated/touched/kissed a male at all at your age (considering how hyper-sexual you are) I don't think I'm exaggerating when I say you probably would have went insane. The loneliness, depression, bitterness, despair, and frustration from not haven't had sex at all would've been to much
I just gave out an example, I don't crave sex and wouldn't want it until I'm married. I do crave love though, and the thought of someone actually wanting to be around me for an extended period of time, enjoying my company. I'd just want to experience that once in my life, however unlikely it is.
Oh and one more thing, I really resent the fact that you said I haven't tried. I have to tried to talk to tons of girls/women, and I've been rejected (also humiliated and ridiculed) every single time. I don't have any attractive qualities (don't even have to list them) and most of them view me as a repulsive weirdo. Can you blame me for being bitter/having a negative attitude?
It's just insulting that you would compare your situation to mine. It's nothing alike. People ACTUALLY want to be around you.
Hahahahaha! You know NOTHING about me! Everything I've had, I RISKED MYSELF and MY COMFORT to get, and most of the time I failed (and continue to fail). That's the difference between you and me, one of many. And I know when my failures are due to me (all of them are). I NEVER blame anyone else or society at large. That's just an excuse. A very safe one, because your situation never has to change, then. Good luck with that. I'm sure it will serve you well.
I've never blamed society for who I am. I blame myself because of how pathetically inadequate I am. It's no one else fault. BTW I have gone outside my comfort zone. I have tried to change myself and be outgoing many times in the past to no success. I put myself in numerous situations of overwhelming social pressure just make friends, and it's not like I wasn't terrified out of my mind when I talked to females, but I did it anyway so that I could date and possible have a GF.
I have tried, it's only recently (like the past 3-4 years) that I've keep to myself, never leaving my house. I got tired of getting hurt/used by people I thought were friends. BTW, I'd appreciate it if you don't talk down to me. You don't know much about me either.
Also mv, there is more to life, for you probably.
You have children that you love and are able to pass on your ideal to. I'll probably never get that chance, as I'll probably never find a woman that'll date me, let alone mate with me.
I don't have any future. I'll be homeless probably after my grandma dies, my sister (who has schizophrenia) will be locked up in a hospital since I won't be able to take care of her.
I'm poor and can't drive. I'll never be able to visit different states/countries. I missed prom, college. I'll never be able to see my favorite bands in concert. I won't be able to take road trips with friends.
I've missed out on a bunch of stuff. I've been alone my whole life and probably will be well into the future. Can you really blame someone like me for not having a positive outlook on life?
He's come to terms with the fact that he'll never find a mate because of how pathetic and inferior of a human being he is. (no disrespect, I'm comparing to normal "NT" people or high functioning autistics/AS)
Even if he had a "positive attitude" he wouldn't be able to get a date because of un-attractiveness and low functioning. No decent-looking women would ever go out with someone like him. (or me)
It's not women fault, it's just the fact that we were born inferior/inadequate and have to live with the loneliness/disappointments. It's unfair but it's reality. I mean who could blame you if you have a negative outlook on the world.
Guess what, though? I have accepted the fact that I will never have a mate, either. And I tried and tried and tried and tried, probably WAY more than you and LonerMutant (OP). But I'm not bitter about it. It's horrifying if you choose to look at it that way, but there is SO MUCH to life out there. Not everyone has to live your sh** attitude, even given the same affliction/circumstances.
How can you compare your situation to mine/lonermuntant. It's just appalling. You have been with TONs of people. You have dated numerous times and have even been married. You're attractive (never seen a picture, just going with how you described yourself), people enjoy your company and like being around you. You're also pretty smart. I'm sure you take pride in those things.
I am hideously ugly (tons of females have to me that) I'm not smart and I'm slow (tons of people [male and female] have told me that over the course of my life) I'm 25 and I haven't so much as a phone number from a girl/woman.
Just imagine yourself being so ugly/repulsive that any member of the opposite sex (even same sex as friends) want nothing to do with you. Just imagine haven't not dated/touched/kissed a male at all at your age (considering how hyper-sexual you are) I don't think I'm exaggerating when I say you probably would have went insane. The loneliness, depression, bitterness, despair, and frustration from not haven't had sex at all would've been to much
I just gave out an example, I don't crave sex and wouldn't want it until I'm married. I do crave love though, and the thought of someone actually wanting to be around me for an extended period of time, enjoying my company. I'd just want to experience that once in my life, however unlikely it is.
Oh and one more thing, I really resent the fact that you said I haven't tried. I have to tried to talk to tons of girls/women, and I've been rejected (also humiliated and ridiculed) every single time. I don't have any attractive qualities (don't even have to list them) and most of them view me as a repulsive weirdo. Can you blame me for being bitter/having a negative attitude?
It's just insulting that you would compare your situation to mine. It's nothing alike. People ACTUALLY want to be around you.
Hahahahaha! You know NOTHING about me! Everything I've had, I RISKED MYSELF and MY COMFORT to get, and most of the time I failed (and continue to fail). That's the difference between you and me, one of many. And I know when my failures are due to me (all of them are). I NEVER blame anyone else or society at large. That's just an excuse. A very safe one, because your situation never has to change, then. Good luck with that. I'm sure it will serve you well.
I've never blamed society for who I am. I blame myself because of how pathetically inadequate I am. It's no one else fault. BTW I have gone outside my comfort zone. I have tried to change myself and be outgoing many times in the past to no success. I put myself in numerous situations of overwhelming social pressure just make friends, and it's not like I wasn't terrified out of my mind when I talked to females, but I did it anyway so that I could date and possible have a GF.
I have tried, it's only recently (like the past 3-4 years) that I've keep to myself, never leaving my house. I got tired of getting hurt/used by people I thought were friends. BTW, I'd appreciate it if you don't talk down to me. You don't know much about me either.
This is not me talking down to you. Not even close.
