So my GF cheated on me

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^ Thread's over. It can drift to whatever topic for all I care now.

Me and the GF have managed to come to peace with each other, and can remain as friends, but friends only.

^ Thread's over. It can drift to whatever topic for all I care now.

Me and the GF have managed to come to peace with each other, and can remain as friends, but friends only.

Thank you Kjas. I can't disagree with you there

Before going any further it would be useful to talk about what you think AS is, and what I think AS is. You say "AS by definition is chronic social ineptness + other symptoms". I prefer to look at the original cause, to me AS is a difference in brain structure which causes the social ineptness and other symptoms (which are actually very important, AS goes beyond social issues), like different sizes of certain parts of the brain, different wiring, different levels of neurotransmitters and neuroreceptors and so on. And when you say there is no cure for it, well, there certainly is not. The outward symptoms can be managed through coping mechanisms or choosing one's environment to a lesser or greater extent, but the underlying issues are still there, and will always be there.

You say there are things I've mastered, some of them are far from mastered. really. For starters, there is a big gap between knowing the right course of action and doing it when the moment arrives, which is something I struggle with. If I am knowledgeable about those subjects it is because I had problems with them and I seeked to solve them, an NT doesn't need to know about body language because he has it hardwired in his brain and just understands it automatically; I don't have that and therefore had to read, watch videos, observe people, think about those observations and how they related with previous observations and knowledge I already had, and all of this only works well when I focus my attention on it, otherwise I am pretty clueless. Ditto for social interaction in general, at one point of my life I read the "how to make friends and influence people" book, and I even took an university course on social psychology to understand social interaction better.

I actually do very badly in my bad days. My current strategy is to make sure I am on my "good days" as often as possible and I also have Sunday as my official "shut down" day, when I don't leave my apartment and rest from the world so I can recharge for the next week. And when that fails and I get a bad day anyway I end up locking myself in the room and skipping classes, not answering to my cellphone and having headaches when my apartment mates try to interact with me. All in all, I don't interact that much with people in the uni outside friends or good acquaintances, who don't tire me out. And if I have something like a date, I make sure I am in a good mood before going.

Having social experience at a young age is not a necessary indicator of not having AS either, there are people around who had them at an even younger age. Plus I didn't have my first girlfriend until after I made a major paradigm shift in my way of thinking, read and internalized plenty of PUA material to the point I had a better intellectual grasp of it than the friend who showed it to me, having him teach me and show me how he texted, how he thought, and doing various experiments, some of which were embarrassing failures.

I don't think I am such a child prodigy like the first example, I actually didn't start talking until I was two and a half, and had to go through speech therapy, and there was one point were my parents though I had some serious kind of mental impairment.

All in all, I have experienced shutdowns, meltdowns, and sensory overload. I have procrastination issues, four days ago I was glared at for saying the wrong thing. I am clumsy and drop objects thrown at me more often than not. My working memory is laughable, the very opposite of what should be the case of the little geniuses you mentioned. I am known for not getting sarcasm at times, and for talking too long about a single subject when I forget to keep myself in check. People think I'm odd, the best I can do is to make it odd in a good way, which is better than repressing everything all the time. I am still very much socially awkward in new situations with completely new people, I haven't gotten the hang of it yet. And I know how worse some of those issues were when I was younger, when I didn't have means to deal with them, or the knowledge to find those means. I believe I do have AS, then, and that it affects my way of life. And this is important, because I also believe I can help others with AS; this would probably be our sticking point because although I don't really take issue or am offended by whether you think I have AS or not, if you used that as an excuse to dismiss my advice and the things I have to say by answering something like "you don't have AS so what you say doesn't work and is useless for everyone else" then I'd have to take issue with that. Otherwise, thanks for your good wishes.

Hmm ok, I don't recall I've ever talked about those issues before but you were only used to talk about your positive social life/experiences - so I've made my assumption based on the previous perception, In fact I can relate to a lot of things in your post.

*scratching head* that's embarassing.

All in all, I should apologize to your doctor.

Now, let's talk about cooking and food.

No hugs please -___-

is it really peace, or pieces?

hmm maybe I need to go get the body bag.

Peace that could easily fall to pieces still, so don't hold your breath.

Will you accept a manly fistbump then?

Ok.

*cockbump*

Oops, sorry, wrong hand.

You know I still used my fist, yes? Your little mistake costed you a few minutes of agony and pain


Well Shau, do what you must. It is possible to keep seeing people as a friend after such things happen, and those friendships can still be valuable. And once one takes the decision of not hit in another person, future interactions with them become more straightforward and without so much doubts. If you think such a friendship would fill you instead of draining you, go for it.

Well Shau, do what you must. It is possible to keep seeing people as a friend after such things happen, and those friendships can still be valuable. And once one takes the decision of not hit in another person, future interactions with them become more straightforward and without so much doubts. If you think such a friendship would fill you instead of draining you, go for it.