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Do people with Asperger's remain virgins for life?

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karathraceandherspecialdestiny
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02 Nov 2017, 9:04 pm

The Abdominal Snowman wrote:
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The idea that seeing a sex worker is a legitimate treatment for self-esteem issues for a young man rather than something like working through with a therapist why his self-esteem is so tied up with how many women he's had sex with is a really messed up idea.

Most interesting.
Who knows, if you're born male in your next life, you might just be in a position to make that determination.


I don`t need to be male to know that`s messed up and our culture puts unhealthy amounts of pressure on young men to value themselves by how much sex they have as a function of their masculinity, and that talking that through with a therapist is a better way to deal with it than seeing a sex worker which doesn`t address how wrong that pressure and the mindset behind it is.



TornadoEvil
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02 Nov 2017, 9:21 pm

karathraceandherspecialdestiny wrote:
The Abdominal Snowman wrote:
Quote:
The idea that seeing a sex worker is a legitimate treatment for self-esteem issues for a young man rather than something like working through with a therapist why his self-esteem is so tied up with how many women he's had sex with is a really messed up idea.

Most interesting.
Who knows, if you're born male in your next life, you might just be in a position to make that determination.


I don`t need to be male to know that`s messed up and our culture puts unhealthy amounts of pressure on young men to value themselves by how much sex they have as a function of their masculinity, and that talking that through with a therapist is a better way to deal with it than seeing a sex worker which doesn`t address how wrong that pressure and the mindset behind it is.


I’m male and I agree with what Starbuck here is saying. So there.



The Abdominal Snowman
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03 Nov 2017, 6:03 pm

Quote:
our culture puts unhealthy amounts of pressure on young men to value themselves by how much sex they have as a function of their masculinity

Um............

I apologize in advance for this bit of mansplaining but I just had to be clear ;)

You mean, of course, that the culture makes their masculinity (M) a function of their notch count (n) (i.e. their worth as a man being dependent on the amount of sex they've had) and not vice versa as you've written?

M=f(n)

You seemed to have implied instead that n=f(M)
i.e. that the amount of sex a guy has had is a function of their masculinity

Or perhaps you mean than the culture holds that a young man's future notch count can actually be predicted by his masculinity (as expressed in other ways)?



TornadoEvil
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03 Nov 2017, 6:23 pm

The Abdominal Snowman wrote:
Quote:
our culture puts unhealthy amounts of pressure on young men to value themselves by how much sex they have as a function of their masculinity

Um............

I apologize in advance for this bit of mansplaining but I just had to be clear ;)

You mean, of course, that the culture makes their masculinity (M) a function of their notch count (n) (i.e. their worth as a man being dependent on the amount of sex they've had) and not vice versa as you've written?

M=f(n)

You seemed to have implied instead that n=f(M)
i.e. that the amount of sex a guy has had is a function of their masculinity

Or perhaps you mean than the culture holds that a young man's future notch count can actually be predicted by his masculinity (as expressed in other ways)?


The function woukd be monotonically increasing so f inverse would exist, whats the problem then?



karathraceandherspecialdestiny
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03 Nov 2017, 7:17 pm

The Abdominal Snowman wrote:
Quote:
our culture puts unhealthy amounts of pressure on young men to value themselves by how much sex they have as a function of their masculinity

Um............

I apologize in advance for this bit of mansplaining but I just had to be clear ;)

You mean, of course, that the culture makes their masculinity (M) a function of their notch count (n) (i.e. their worth as a man being dependent on the amount of sex they've had) and not vice versa as you've written?

M=f(n)

You seemed to have implied instead that n=f(M)
i.e. that the amount of sex a guy has had is a function of their masculinity

Or perhaps you mean than the culture holds that a young man's future notch count can actually be predicted by his masculinity (as expressed in other ways)?


Wow, so clever, and so appropriate to the tone of the discussion. I'm very impressed and charmed.



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03 Nov 2017, 8:13 pm

Quote:
The function woukd be monotonically increasing so f inverse would exist, whats the problem then?

Surely the inverse of a masculinity function woukd be a suck-up function.



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03 Nov 2017, 8:50 pm

if I had access to a professional sex worker when I was young, my life would have taken on a different trajectory.



TornadoEvil
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03 Nov 2017, 9:12 pm

The Abdominal Snowman wrote:
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The function woukd be monotonically increasing so f inverse would exist, whats the problem then?

Surely the inverse of a masculinity function woukd be a suck-up function.


No, the functional inverse of the supposed sexual partners to masculinity function is the supposed masculinity to sexual partners function, provided certain characteristics of he functions are met.



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03 Nov 2017, 11:38 pm

I hope that I do. I feel that sex is overrated.


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AspieOutlaw89
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10 Dec 2017, 10:16 pm

we all do,every single one of us,based on how we appear to women upon eye contact



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13 Dec 2017, 8:24 am

If I'd had a diagnosis in childhood I think there's a good chance I'd have remained so. It was bad enough worrying about the prospect of having to tell a potential partner that I didn't have a job, that I couldn't drive a car and that I didn't like going out etc. Telling somebody I had aspergers would be like telling them I had a conviction for mass murdering my own family or something similar. It shouldn't be like that, but it would feel that way to me.

After an awkward and very difficult relationship around the age of 15, I was resigned to being alone for the rest of my life and never being able to get over the one girlfriend I'd had, but mid-20s I had a brief personality change brought on by the use of psychedelics, during which time I met somebody who I had children with.
Had I had the diagnosis before then I'm sure she would have thought twice about having children with me or even getting together in the first place. We're separated now, it was good for a while but in the long term she was not sympathetic to my problems, she just seemed to resent me for being autistic and ground me into the dirt for it. In many ways I probably have lower self-esteem now than when I did before I met her.

In many ways you are better off being on your own, but to go through life thinking "What if I just had one girlfriend, my life could be so much different" must be very difficult.



AspieOutlaw89
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13 Dec 2017, 9:05 pm

lostproperty wrote:
If I'd had a diagnosis in childhood I think there's a good chance I'd have remained so. It was bad enough worrying about the prospect of having to tell a potential partner that I didn't have a job, that I couldn't drive a car and that I didn't like going out etc. Telling somebody I had aspergers would be like telling them I had a conviction for mass murdering my own family or something similar. It shouldn't be like that, but it would feel that way to me.

After an awkward and very difficult relationship around the age of 15, I was resigned to being alone for the rest of my life and never being able to get over the one girlfriend I'd had, but mid-20s I had a brief personality change brought on by the use of psychedelics, during which time I met somebody who I had children with.
Had I had the diagnosis before then I'm sure she would have thought twice about having children with me or even getting together in the first place. We're separated now, it was good for a while but in the long term she was not sympathetic to my problems, she just seemed to resent me for being autistic and ground me into the dirt for it. In many ways I probably have lower self-esteem now than when I did before I met her.

In many ways you are better off being on your own, but to go through life thinking "What if I just had one girlfriend, my life could be so much different" must be very difficult.


same here.that's why i would rather lose my virginity to giant teddy bears,giant stuffed tigers & giant stuffed gorillas,while using them as sex toys based on how horny i feel :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart:,than lose it to nt girls & women who are not open to being with aspie guys like us,because of their negative perception,and reception of how we appear to them,upon eye-contact :x :x :x :x :x :x :x



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16 Dec 2017, 6:29 pm

AspieOutlaw89 wrote:
we all do,every single one of us,based on how we appear to women upon eye contact


We all do, except for the countless exceptions to the rule. I'm sorry to hear you've convinced yourself of this. :|


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auntblabby
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16 Dec 2017, 6:33 pm

there are so many of us and so few exceptions to the rule.



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18 Dec 2017, 12:18 am

auntblabby wrote:
there are so many of us and so few exceptions to the rule.


I'm sure there's heaps of exceptions to the rule, but I'm not one of them so it doesn't help me. :skull:



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18 Dec 2017, 12:49 am

Even though I still haven't been diagnosed to know if I have Asperger's... I'm not a virgin. And yes, I mean I actually had physical sex with someone on this planet. Though it was kind of luck to have found someone who wanted to date and have sex with me during that time.


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