Is a career required for a relationship?

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Why not?

And I say this coming from the perspective of someone who's health, both mental and physical, were horrendously poor & I'd have qualified for welfare. I refused to go apply for it, though, because I didn't want the stigma I'd give myself. I didn't want to feel like it was game over and I was done before I'd even really started. I got by for a while on an income of about $150/month and the charity of a friend for a roof over my head in a house that was under massive renovations - a total construction site. I intentionally didn't seek to date anyone at this time because I didn't want to burden them with the state I was in and the place I was in in life.

Now, a few years later, things are entirely different for me. I work, I've saved & invested some money, I have a car on the road, I'm mentally sharp & physically fit.. and after some really awesome conversations with my closest friend, I'm more confident than ever about beginning to date someone/others and seeing if I click well enough with anyone for a relationship. And I would not consider dating anyone that has themselves and their life in the mess of a state that I was once in, so no welfare/disability types would do. I see myself spending my life with someone at least as equally driven to do whatever their thing is as I am to do mine in my life. People on welfare aren't typically motivated, ambitious, driven, hard working, achieving & successful people. Now, if they happened to be 1 in a Billion that was on welfare as a means to survive while they pursued some passion with 100% of their time and energy, then that might be a different story.. but the probability of that is slim to none & slim just left town.

That said, I couldn't care less whether someone was once on welfare and has since gotten their life in order and put those days behind them. I'd be a total hypocrite if I said I cared about someone's past in that regard, as even though I never collected it, I know damn well that I qualified. I care much more about their present & future than anyone's past in that regard. Obviously I see no problem with this perspective. You may disagree, but almost no one that's self sufficient wants to take on a financial liability as a life partner. People want to date others that have the money that allows them the time and freedom to do things of mutual interest together, or to follow their passions as someone else mentioned. Granted, some specifically seek someone of lesser financial means because they like being the provider, but even then chances aren't very likely that someone with a provider income is seeking someone on social assistance - and not for money reasons - but rather because there's typically an underlying reason they're incapable of earning their own way through life that isn't compatible with someone's personality, lifestyle, and so on who is gainfully employed & financially stable.

I'm just calling it how I see it. You're free to disagree with me all you like. And if you do, feel free to post a rebuttal as I'm curious as to how you'd debate otherwise.

That should be enough to pay for schooling in cash & have some savings built up by the time you graduate. If you're frugal and spend only what you need to, you could be in a VERY good position in life/career start/finances etc by the time you wrap up your education.

My bankruptcy discharged 13 months ago and I had about $400 to my name. I've been living with family and working my ass off. In 13 months I'm up approx $27K CDN in cash & stocks. Recently spent some money & my income has gone down with my new job, but I'm still saving money and working towards much bigger business & financial goals in My bankruptcy discharged 13 months ago and I had about $400 to my name. If I can manage to that in 13 months, you can manage to achieve your own goals, too.

I really should watch/listen to more. I do read a LOT of motivational quotes, stories, books etc. But I should watch more videos and listen to more audio like that. It's pretty powerful stuff! I have really big goals for myself, and every bit of added positivity helps!

So there should be stigma towards welfare and people on it because you personally would not consider dating someone receiving it? And because you where some how able to manage to get by without it and then gain a more successful life situation? How about you just don't date those people, but no there should not be stigma in society towards it or people on it as there typically are legitimate reasons they need the assistance and as a society there should be resources for people who need financial or other assistance. There shouldn't be stigma just cause you don't wanna date a 'welfare bum' as I am sure you are comfortable using that term towards people on welfare.

I don't care if more well to do people don't want to date someone on welfare or someone with a minimum wage job with low income....but to say there should be stigma against it because of this is really just not cool. It's up to you what qualifications a male would need for you to consider dating them........I imagine my qualifications would look a lot different one of them does not include financial stability. But I can see how financailly stable people prefer to stay that way and date someone who is also in that position...but that also does not mean its hopeless for less successful people to still find relationships and ways of enjoying life.

Also some people don't have the chairity of a friend and what not to help them through the rough times so might not have the luxury of refusing to apply for it....

i've only heard of lower class, middle class, wealthy. where in theres a range for middle class($25,500 to $76,500). so theres lower middle class and higher middle class. 100k a year is upper or near wealthy i think. like senators here make 174k and are generally considered wealthy. in the us anyways. your class and income system might be different'

its rather simple actually you just add more debt to your debt. where as for people like us eventually the credit card companies will cut us off, the us gov is the one who decides when to be cut off so they just raise the limit when they reach it. eventually this will destroy us but politicians think in the here and now not the future as heck they might not even be in office when that happens so make as much as they can now. If I could i'd set it so no foreign aid is sent out until we manage our economy and set a path of clearing our debt. being the worlds red cross/police is what has gotten us into this trouble, time to focus on ourselves

i mean if I owed 22 grand and was always worried about losing my house I wouldn't keep giving my neighbor 500 dollars every month to help him buy food and pay his rent. I doubt Africa/middle east would send us aid money if tomorrow the us collapsed and we needed help.

most people won't consider a tree hugger ambitious. ambition is constantly climbing the promotion ladder til the top then finding a new job field to repeat. at least that is what my Google search of what women consider ambition is.

self ambition and pushing another to grow and follow their ambition are two different things. I for one always try to encourage people to follow their dreams and go for the sky etc. I just personally don't have that drive to constantly be growing. I find a stable spot and enjoy it rather then thinking yeah this spot is great but there might be a better one down the stream. what if there isn't and you come back to find teh spot before taken. every carreer has it's top. must be a said day for those with super ambition.

like the mine craft guy he can't stay on one sucesss, he has to move on to other things, project after project never sticking with one to the finish. or the muscle guys who go too far and become mostly muscle that have a hard time doing normal things where they could have stopped when they were still strong but not too far. I don't get ambition, it seems to living life just to get higher rather then living life just to live life.

even if the guy makes you supper happy and you both love each other? life should be about being happy and enjoying it. work should just be about enabling that. when work becomes the primary focus and happiness/love/enjoying becomes the forgotten past whats the point. i'd rather have a nice girl then 200 million dollars. the money would never make me happy never buy the things i wanted and when I'd die the money would still be around as i'd never be able to spend it all.

you have the right to want who you want, but i feel you're going miss out on nice guys who could improve your life in non money ways, who have just had a tougher life then you.

so say you buy a house pay it off and are set for life not issues no chance of ending up homeless. would you stay refuse a guy who is on that level? or should he have house too. this confuses me. almost seems people would be better living in two houses and just meeting up to have sex and dates. if you live in the same house then it houldn't be needed to have the same income/job status, seems to be a female things, guys haven't and still don't care as much.

yep. you right boo. seen tons of fat jobless women who demand that the guy who wants to date them must have a great job, be fit, and look super handsome. so they want more then they are willing to give, a guy who is similar to them is worthless even to them.

Jjance is a guy I think or at least that is what the profile says.

It's possible you didn't have mental illness. Low self-esteem isn't the same as depression. If you're still able to get excited and enjoy some activities you like it probably isn't depression. Low self-esteem will go away if your social standing improves. Depression doesn't always go away. No matter how good your life may seem on the outside, you may still find it hard to enjoy anything. Everything you do is overshadowed by this chemically induced emptiness. It takes extraordinary effort to do the most mundane things because you just don't feel anything. I don't care how proud you are that you managed to "self improve", your pride blinds you. Things aren't that simple for everyone. You're ignorant. You really don't f*****g get what depression is. It's similar to living in chronic pain. If you want to be a prick and stigmatize me I want nothing to do with you. Maybe what goes around comes around and your idiotic pride will bite you in the ass. Maybe you'll wake up with cancer. I wouldn't care. Now go f**k yourself.

I don't know about anyone else, but I'm finding it really hard to empathize at all with all these ungrateful arrogant jack-off types. I seriously wouldn't care if they laid dying in front of my eyes. I'd spit on them. f**k them. f**k them hard. I don't give a s**t anymore. Get me banned from this site. Go ahead. These stuck-up shitstains need to know how their words effect people.

So, you're suggesting that everyone should want to date someone w/ a rock bottom socio-economic status even though that's a critical criteria for what they're attracted to in another person?

Sorry bud, like it or not, everyone has the right to their own personal opinion on this matter for what works for them and why. I can't speak for other posters here, but as for myself I'm simply being transparent and honest about my thoughts on the matter being discussed.

I don't give a f**k who you want to date. You said you think I should be stigmatized. There's the problem bud. You say I should be stigmatized, I tell you where to shove your bigotry. I'm not required to be nicy-nice or speak to you kindly. If I met you face to face I would be even less nice. Life is hard enough without obnoxious shitstains like you. Maybe you'll get cancer and nobody will want you. Good riddance.

Last edited by marshall on 28 Oct 2014, 1:58 am, edited 1 time in total.

I still am curious to see the reasoning for why welfare and people on it should be stigmatized, just because some people who aren't on it would not date someone who is, that smells like some pretty stupid bigotry to me. Though quite certain there are people who aren't on welfare in relationships with people who are.

All I ask is for people to think before they open their goddamn mouths and spew their obnoxious s**t. People are such f*****g imbeciles. They're too stupid and self-absorbed to even know how to be decent human beings. I add more value to the world living off SSI and volunteering to help people than hustling useless BS and telling self-absorbed w*k stories about how I "pulled myself up by my bootstraps". My passion is science. I can't think of a career more boring than business or finance. I can't think of anything more boring in the entire universe.

I think women should stay far away from anyone with a stink like goldfish21. I'm sure he'd cheat or divorce his wive if she got a chronic illness and couldn't work anymore. He'd no longer be attracted if she no longer had "ambition".

lol right, and I am Easter Bunny .

I highly doubt JJ is male.