A Self-Made-Man girl discovers that life as a man is harder

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Well yeah it's like a lot of guys want some special right to talk crap about women they want sex with.....as if its ok when they do it but wrong if anyone else does. Or they think they are entitled to sex and the woman 'owes' it to them for giving them a nice night when they made no such obligation about future relations and may have dropped many hints that they 'HAVE NO INTErESt' rather than always assuming any woman who says 'hi' and wears something you find hot is pre-occupied with your balls that is all. Crap wait, I may have forgot to wrap that all up in cotton whool.......

[quote="nurseangela"Have any of the men here tried to understand women at all? Read any books on the subject of women?[/quote]


Personally, I would not read books by women if I was in another relationship, because I don't believe most people are able to be honest about what they want. Most of the female friends I've hung out in my life have flirted with men by doing a kind of mock-aggression, mock-teasing and play-fighting, and responded to men who do this act back, yet I've found very few women who are prepared to talk about this honestly - in books, on forums, or in life.

And when I've dated women with emotional problems they were very inconsistent and confusing - like saying "when I'm in a depression just be strong and hug me, don't worry if I don't reciprocate, just be strong for me" then when I hug them in a down time they push me off screaming "I told you never to touch me when I'm like this" etc.

So, If I was going into the world of flirting again, I would read books by people who have successfully flirted with women, and If I was in a relationship, I would read books by people who have made relationships with women work, not books by women themselves. Not because I think women are purposefully deceitful, but I think we all have blind spots when it comes to ourselves flirting and attraction, and things which are too embarrassing or subliminal too talk about openly - Like why most people flirt with play-fighting and jokey arguements.

So I never agree with that "if you want to know what women want, ask them", stuff.

Norah knows well who has it harder , especially in dating, she experienced both sides.

Personally, I would not read books by women if I was in another relationship, because I don't believe most people are able to be honest about what they want. Most of the female friends I've hung out in my life have flirted with men by doing a kind of mock-aggression, mock-teasing and play-fighting, and responded to men who do this act back, yet I've found very few women who are prepared to talk about this honestly - in books, on forums, or in life.

And when I've dated women with emotional problems they were very inconsistent and confusing - like saying "when I'm in a depression just be strong and hug me, don't worry if I don't reciprocate, just be strong for me" then when I hug them in a down time they push me off screaming "I told you never to touch me when I'm like this" etc.

So, If I was going into the world of flirting again, I would read books by people who have successfully flirted with women, and If I was in a relationship, I would read books by people who have made relationships with women work, not books by women themselves. Not because I think women are purposefully deceitful, but I think we all have blind spots when it comes to ourselves flirting and attraction, and things which are too embarrassing or subliminal too talk about openly - Like why most people flirt with play-fighting and jokey arguements.

So I never agree with that "if you want to know what women want, ask them", stuff.[/quote]

Yes, observe them, don't ask them.

to be fair though, the threat of assault/stalking probably cancels out being bored by women's bad social skills or the horribleness of judged by your wealth or toughness, though I do think those are genuinely miserable things for male aspies to deal with in dating.

I am bored of this off topic, let's go to something more fun.

American ladies, you still didn't explain to me about this toilet
lid drama - how comes you fall in?

If I had the option, I would have been a woman. If the worst of my frustration and troubles only ever happened once a month, it would be like paradise. Sadly, white society favour women over men and that's the way it is. What I would like is a society where we are classed as citizens, not as 'boys and girls', where there are no gender roles (except mating) and the difference between being male or female is the same difference between having green eyes or blue eyes.

>And when I've dated women with emotional problems they were very inconsistent and confusing - like saying "when I'm in a depression just be strong and hug me, don't worry if I don't reciprocate, just be strong for me" then when I hug them in a down time they push me off screaming "I told you never to touch me when I'm like this" etc.

She does this because she doesn't think logically - rather, she only thinks about how she feels at the moment. When you get used to someone who is inconsistent and doesn't know what they actually want, you have to stop trusting what she says and act according to what she does.

Yet, when a man learns through direct observation in a stimulus-response context all he can about women in general - and NT women in particular - he gets told by those same women that his observations are not just invalid, but rude and insulting.

It's almost as if those women are more interested in the attention they receive from men than in letting those men learn the truth about them.

Women REALLY don't like it when a man states that he "understands" her.

They always say, "You'll never understand ME; don't even try!"

Women enjoy having an aura of mystery about them.

And what's wrong with that? It's natural, really.

On the Toilet Seat front: Guys, why don't you just put the seat down? It would save lots of nagging!

I could dig the part about having "good aim," too.

Ladies, why don't you just look before you sit?

I don't think it's possible to "learn all about NT women", they're a vastly varied group ranging from shy and studious to loud, dumb and aggressive. Unless it's treating them as human beings which Aspies need to learn to do with all people.

Personally, I believe it's better to focus on understanding the SPECIFIC WOMAN, rather than merely on WOMEN in general.

I have no aura of mystery about myself. I only keep secrets out of shame and fear of rejection.

I like that about you, Goofy

Why no one calls angela sexist when she say these things?

Ahh when a woman says it; she's being pragmatic.
When a man says; he's being sexist.

Personally, I would not read books by women if I was in another relationship, because I don't believe most people are able to be honest about what they want. Most of the female friends I've hung out in my life have flirted with men by doing a kind of mock-aggression, mock-teasing and play-fighting, and responded to men who do this act back, yet I've found very few women who are prepared to talk about this honestly - in books, on forums, or in life.

And when I've dated women with emotional problems they were very inconsistent and confusing - like saying "when I'm in a depression just be strong and hug me, don't worry if I don't reciprocate, just be strong for me" then when I hug them in a down time they push me off screaming "I told you never to touch me when I'm like this" etc.

So, If I was going into the world of flirting again, I would read books by people who have successfully flirted with women, and If I was in a relationship, I would read books by people who have made relationships with women work, not books by women themselves. Not because I think women are purposefully deceitful, but I think we all have blind spots when it comes to ourselves flirting and attraction, and things which are too embarrassing or subliminal too talk about openly - Like why most people flirt with play-fighting and jokey arguements.

So I never agree with that "if you want to know what women want, ask them", stuff.[/quote]

Everything that I have said has been honest. Women probably don't want to say anything because, like me, they will get shot down and told that they are a gold digger. Totally not true, I just want to protect the nest that I built for myself. I don't know why it's ok for men to want to protect their things and women don't. Since roles have changed, women have better paying jobs now and can be very independent. And that's another thing, I have been on these dating sites before and a lot of men want "a girl who is independent". What the heck does that mean when they shoot her down for being independent?

And, don't Aspies have problems with touch sometimes? I would probably say the same thing as the woman in your example, but there are certain times when I'm stressed and have a lot of anxiety and can't have anyone near me. Before hugging someone first, ask if that's what they want.