Worst decision - okcupid

Post Reply New Topic

Of course not. That's what the "eye-contact" game is meant to be used for.

I haven't heard of one single successful long-term relationship to ever come out of internet dating, regardless of what the ads said. That said, I do know of a couple of successful relationships that have come about from people meeting as friends on the internet and then spending time getting to know one another.

You're the same age as my middle kid, so I've been dealing with relationships for a while. Here's the best advice I can give you:

1. 23 is not over the hill. You have a lot of time to build a love relationship with someone in the future. And, yes, I know it feels like it will never happen. I've been there. But a lack of patience leads to appearing desperate. Appearing desperate runs people off, and so works against you.

2. While you are working on your patience, spend that time working on your favorite hobbies. Absolutely do join clubs associated with them. It is not only a great way to indulge in something you enjoy, but also a great way to meet other people who also enjoy those hobbies--including those of the opposite gender who might like to get to know you better, especially since they already know you have an interest in common.

3. When you do meet someone, remember that it is very, very, VERY easy to turn on "boyfriend behavior" and be marvelously charming and fabulously delightful in small doses--and then go home and detox. But when the relationship progresses to living together, or to marriage, it is much harder. Start as you mean to go on, or she will wind up feeling manipulated and used, despite the fact that it is not your intent, and the relationship will fizzle out, at best, or implode.

4. It's worth saying again. Be patient.

I don't know how much I've helped, but I do wish you luck in finding the perfect lady. There are a few good ones out there still, I'm sure!

Judith

I haven't heard of one single successful long-term relationship to ever come out of internet dating, regardless of what the ads said.

I went on okcupid, I talked to this one guy , I thought he really liked me, we talked ALOT, one day, he disappeared, probably find a very beautiful woman to talk to. He did asked me to meet, we live in the same town. It really seems like when you talking to a guy, they can leave you without saying goodbye when another woman talks to him. I'm tired of blaming myself, I thought I wasn't pretty enough. I do want a boyfriend, but I don't know if I'm really ready to get one.

I've noticed most of the girls on okcupid have super high standards. If you don't have a car and aren't upper middle class, you have a hard time on that site, if you're a guy. I think a lot of girls just get on there to try and find a guy that they can hook up with and have an easy life. I think that's the case more than wanting to meet someone who you actually care about and who cares about you. So, if you're a college student and a guy, I wouldn't even bother with it. You're better off joining a site where people just got to find people to have sex with, like fetlife. That is until you meet someone in person.

IME, ND women tend to be very shy and introverted. And shy people are especially hard to read when you observe them without interacting with them and even then their body language is particularly quiet when they're in a public place or a social setting.

I've played the eye contact game and it never actually worked in terms of getting together with someone. Sometimes it just means she's friendly and wants to chat or hang out but not actually date you. If it worked for you, fine. But it doesn't work for me and I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one. Even if you don't expect to meet somebody at first, having those intentions is a dead giveaway and if there isn't anyone there who finds you attractive *and* is going to make her interest clear then don't expect anything more than friendship.

Do the girls you speak of have upper middle class lives themselves (degrees, good jobs, etc)? If yes, the expectation that their partners should have the same isn't unreasonable. If no, at least they're honest (want easy life) and you know exactly which girls to avoid!

If you wanna hookup on okc or POF (only sites I've ever used), they've got "casual sex" or "no commitment" options... and the girls who have selected them are likely receptive to advances for that kind of thing.

No. They were not just curious. They also did nasty things like throw rocks at kids who look different. Third graders did this. The only reason adults don't bully is because they are socialized to know it is unacceptable. They still think the same way underneath. They just don't show it a brazenly as kids. The vast majority of humanity is s**t. Genetically they are s**t. They are programmed to be s**t because they are monkeys. They don't think for themselves. They are incapable. They follow the herd. The vast majority of Germany supported the Nazi's. Hitler probably had a cute face as a child, while he tortured animals. Little kids are not innocent. f**k the human race.

That's not my experience. Even extremely shy girls (and probably guys too) will engage in looking at somebody they like at a distance. Some of them may use stims instead of looks, so paying attention to that will be a good idea. Also note that the eye contact thing must be done at a distance where you aren't in a social situation or talking. It has nothing to do with having eye contact with somebody you talk to (NT stuff), so in order not to mix those up it's necessary to do it when this is not a factor.

I went on okcupid, I talked to this one guy , I thought he really liked me, we talked ALOT, one day, he disappeared, probably find a very beautiful woman to talk to. He did asked me to meet, we live in the same town. It really seems like when you talking to a guy, they can leave you without saying goodbye when another woman talks to him. I'm tired of blaming myself, I thought I wasn't pretty enough. I do want a boyfriend, but I don't know if I'm really ready to get one.

I've noticed most of the girls on okcupid have super high standards. If you don't have a car and aren't upper middle class, you have a hard time on that site, if you're a guy. I think a lot of girls just get on there to try and find a guy that they can hook up with and have an easy life. I think that's the case more than wanting to meet someone who you actually care about and who cares about you. So, if you're a college student and a guy, I wouldn't even bother with it. You're better off joining a site where people just got to find people to have sex with, like fetlife. That is until you meet someone in person.

Now when it comes to women looking for a serious relationship, it shouldn't come as a surprise that they expect you to have your s**t together and be financially stable. They are, and they're not looking to support a guy who isn't. They are plenty of college girls on okcupid and POF that would be open to meeting a male college student in the same situation so if that's you then just state it openly and stop chasing after professional women.