zeertheseer wrote:
Sweetleaf wrote:
Jacoby wrote:
Sweetleaf wrote:
Well the trouble is if you clearly don't fit into the typical female gender role its not forgiving at all, in my experience. Granted if anything it's improved in some ways since I've gotten older and am not stuck at public school around a bunch of social expectations and social pressure. Though I am concerned it will get in the way of work, if I get off of SSI...I mean a lot of the jobs people say a women can easily get, they mean a typical, confident women who knows how to do her make up and hair and look pretty for the customer or whatever. Not an androgynous, metalhead chick who has trouble with social interaction and doesn't know how to be 'fashionable' or whatever.
And I don't know if it would have been any easier or harder if I was male....that is too much of an if, hard to really imagine me as a guy trying to get a relationship.
I don't want to get into an argument about who has it worse, I've found a lot of your posts relateable which is why I remembered them in the first place. All I'm going to say is that male and female gender roles are both particularly hostile to men on the spectrum given what people's expectations are. Society in general is much more accepting of women that do not fit gender roles than men, that's just the truth and gender roles entail much more than just type of dress and your interests but rather things who initiates the relationship and who is the breadwinner and whether or not you are dating up or dating down and just how you interact with other people altogether. Men are expected to chase, make strong eye contact, strong handshakes, be able to provide & protect, all on top of being an "interesting fun guy", it all has an air of competition. Am I perceiving things wrongly? I don't think too many women are interested in 25 year old unemployed disabled depressed men that can't drive or do much of anything.
Yes and women are supposed to be feminine, be receptive to flirting and such, and dress 'attractively' and various things to...the ones that don't fit those sorts of norms have more trouble finding relationships. I doubt it can really be said that it's harder for either gender there are different difficulties but trying to claim one has it easier just makes people defensive and causes arguments rather than actually discussing the different difficulties.
I don't think either gender should be held to all the socially constructed molds per say, people should choose what they want to do. But I know society can make it rough on people who don't fit into them, causing a lot more difficulties for them. Also how many guys do you think would be interested in a 26 year old college drop out on SSI disability who's depressed and gloomy all the time and doesn't do anything? I mean pretty sure my boyfriend would have to move on if I was constantly miserable and just sat around in our bedroom on the bed all day and was making no efforts to improve and rejecting attempts at help. I don't think being on disability 100% bars one from dating if they're male necessarily or not driving however if you don't do anything...that could be problematic. There are probably females that would be content making more money than their S.O even if it's because the S.O is on SSI if say whilst he's at home does the housework and things like that. But if they were the main one making income and all you do is sit around when they're gone...well of course they'd take issue with that.
ok, lets make it clear then! do you put out for him? if not, does he gain anything from your company? when I said we men are simple creatures, it isn't much further. women HATE being treated like objects, yet when it comes down to it.
they act JUST like an someone attempting to sell an object would! they make themselves look pretty, they look for someone they can count on. and they make every attempt to become noticed without outright saying anything. then when the dense Motherf***er they are flirting with doesn't get it and walks away, gets depressed/mad.
You may not THINK you haven't done anything,but you had to of whether you realize it or not. Guys will say pretty much anything to keep a girl they find attractive interested in them. almost like say... a prized possession. sometimes it isn't the what is true and what is false. Rather, what is left out. in the relationship world.
He's certainly says that he enjoys my company, and being with me makes him happy and I don't get the impression he's being dishonest. The main reason I'm with him is because I feel the same towards him, also we enjoy similar activities and doing them together. He doesn't have to say anything to convince me to remain interested because, I like him specifically. It is unfortunate many females might be more concerned with a guys assets than with being with someone they actually care for...but that doesn't really describe my pre-relationship mindset.
I've never cared much for making myself pretty and usually try to be less noticed, not noticed as much as possible...I am not that social of a person. I also never picked up the skill of flirting or being receptive to it from others...I prefer more direct to the point sort of communication. Overall society however does tend to suck and promote the mindset you describe unfortunately.
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Metal never dies. \m/
02 Jul 2016, 10:04 pm
