This lady has some serious issues with Aspies

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If you tell someone who is NT that you are Autistic or Aspie they will immediately look on you as being lesser than them.
It's how humans work, we categorize and sort everything into groups, by admitting to a neurological disorder you are forcing them to assign you to a lesser group.

I've never been in a relationship with another Autistic person, lately I'm thinking that it's the best option though, I'm not interested in more of the same, I feel like Sly, previous NT relationships of being shouted at for nothing, always feeling I was in the wrong and never understanding why.

I have no interest in explaining ASD to a partner, screw that, you'd only use the wrong words and paint a picture of a monster.

Because I see a bunch of aspie women talk down about aspie men, like their better then us. It upsets me. Apsie women should be the more likely ones to like us suffering the same condition and all. I aine if some aspie men were like, eww I'd never date aspie women they so horrible.
I've never said aspie women don't suffer. But they do seem to be seen as better and I doNt get why. Certainly doesn't make me feel like disclosing my condition.

What do you mean they suffer fro. Social isolation more? Or was that a mistype?

These threads always upset me, cause the article is bad enough but then you get apsie women come in and basically agree with the article

CNN doesn't allow comments anymore either along with most media. People don't like to hear others that disagree anymore. Use to be comments allowed on almost everything

What the hell there is literally no one on this thread that agrees with the article. It hurts me to that she thinks of us this way.

Yes it has been found they are more likely to suffer from social isolation and less able to make friends due to how females make friends as well as an often late diagnosis leading to questioning of identity

I've seen very few aspie women talking down to aspie men and my fair share of both male and females talking abot their difficulties with an aspie partner

Women only hide their troubles better.

edit: such spelling errors when on a phone

You two are so cute when you mope together.


No...not really.

If you're going to be in a long term relationship, you are going to need to disclose at some point, because they ARE going to learn at some point, and if they learn you were purposely with holding it from them they are going to be pissed as hell. I think the main difference in the reactions between men and women is that autistic women are more likely to have actually been in a long-term relationship.

You don't have to lie...just give it another name , a name which is more common and understood like "I am different, "I am extremely introvert" and if you wanna go deeper "I am socially inept" , and that's it- problem solved - there's no use for that AS label. At least they wouldn't google it and find out blogs listing failed AS-NT relationships and stories of mass murdering and start associating this label to all of these stuff.

Alliekit, another BIG difference between herpes and AS.... herpes is a real medical condition, it is proven and it exists medically. As for AS, not very much so, at least not medically, the diagnosis itself only exist in psychiatric books (and as ASD in DSM 5 but....as an attempt to make the diagnosis more rigid) and none of the real medical books:
In other term, Med school students don't study about AS, only those who branched into psychiatry/psychology do - and that alone makes AS subject to a lot of stigmatization (since AS so far is just a psychiatric label).





No, read above.


It seems that I have awaken a new movement here, a movement of guys who just realized how bad is to disclose it ...to disclose it as ASPERGER's syndrome at least, we should give it a name, "The Movement of the Incognito-aspies" perhaps ?

Last edited by The_Face_of_Boo on 03 Dec 2016, 6:59 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Well seems either way I won't have a long term relationship. From what I've gathered telling will just end the relationship sooner and spare them of having to deal with the side effects of our aspergers.

I have no real friends , haven't for years now. I just end up spending all my life in my room cause I have no one to hang out with. I've tried making friends but fail at that far worse then getting dates. I've been able to get more women talk to me for dating then men for friendships. Given how much I fail at getting women to date me that should give an idea of much I fail at getting friends, I don't get how people do it and recently found out it's. It ok to mak friends at work. How do people make friends? Is it all really done at bars like in the tv shows?
I've made acquaintances which are limited to only talking about one subject and whom I never meet. That's about it. Since I can't stand doing actives alone I just end up not doing activities .

Seems like most people women and men make their friends in college and then keep those same freiends for the rest of their lives. I made no friends I. College. And all my child hood threads grew up and apart. Moving away to be in the military or just don't have any interest in me since my interests didn't change when I got year older. They stopped playing video games and moved to partying and rink lots of liquor. I kept playing video games and never have liked or saw the point in liquor . You spend lots of money on it, drink it pass out remember nothing of what happen besides being out $200 for a night. No thanks.

I dont know how either women or men make friends after college. And I stupidly focused on my studies and avoided socializing so I'd get good grades. Missed out on friends and gf cause of it I imagine

And what makes any difference if these exes were AS and disclosed it to you, how this discovery would make any difference to you?
I mean an abusive man is an abusive man and you should leave him for that; so while you're thinking he's NT you stick with him? but once he tells you he has AS you would be like "Aha! so it's useless, I leave you now"?

I am still not understanding your reasoning.

I don't get why the man disclosing it is doing you a 'favor' and make you leave a bad relationship earlier ....while you should had left it because... it is a bad relationship! Regardless of everything else.

I am both.

In social situations, particularly with friends, I am more confident, friendly, upbeat and full of life, and carefree and laidback.

In solitude or just at home in general I am just laidback, quiet, etc.

It's not about me being one or the other, it's about me being either depending on the situation.

I haven't actually been in a relationship long enough to know, so I give or take it'd be 1 month before I go from Mr. A (video 2) to Mr. B (video 1).

I'm sure 1 month isn't too long.

But I'd still be Mr. A, just less so because I'm now in an established relationship.

Neither have I. I enjoy acting and it's a big part of me, but I'd never want to be an actor.

Here's the thing: Being yourself means being who you 'naturally' are, correct?

Well, naturally, I am someone who strives to always be better than what I am. Naturally, I try to be Mr. A (video 2).

Naturally, I try to be more confident, friendly, social, etc. than I actually am, while remaining myself. I stay me but exaggerate my personal qualities. 110% me.

So if that's just something I naturally always choose to do in social situations, the behavior I gravitate towards, I am being myself, correct?

It may feel a little strange to walk more confidently, to have my head up more, etc. to pretend to be N.T. It feels unnatural, but it actually IS natural because I always choose to do it and am left satisfied I did a normal social interaction and came across as normal and succeeded socially in the end.

Being a less natural but better me is natural because I naturally want to be a better me. It's still me, it's just super-me. The me I want to become.

What's that old saying? Fake confidence till you make it?

Sound confusing? Contradictory? Welcome to my life...

I agree with everything you said. I am also that way too, what you see is what you get. But yet both my abusive ex and my husband accused me of changing. My husband said I only changed a little and my ex said I changed a lot. I realize my ex was right I did change but that was because I was depressed and having lot of anxiety and lot of stress makes me regress and hew didn't like that so he acted worse about it and that made me even worse. Yeah he was an a**hole.

I have no friends. I haven't had a real life friend since I was 14, someone of my own age. I only have my husband and we are both isolated and we often do our own things. Most of my social interaction is only online while in real life everyone ignores me and rarely talks to me but at least I don't get harassed and everyone leaves me alone.

Online I've generally seen more women write negative things about their exboyfriends or about how men are bad in relationships (in their opinion anyway) than men who complain in a similar way about their exgirlfriend or about women being bad in relationships. This is not to say women complain more about men than vice versa but maybe the things they tend to complain about are different. (from what I've personally seen I don't know any statistics on this so what I'm saying is pure speculation) For example, I've seen more men complain about the women they don't get than women complaining about the men they don't get - unrealistic ridiculously high standards, selfish, unfair that kind of stuff - or men complaining in general about how illogic women's thinking is etc.
What I'm trying to say is, if women truly are more prone to complaining about their exes and to generalize this to all men or one group of men, then this together with the more common autism diagnoses in men would already lead to a lot more mean articles about male aspies than female aspies. (this doesn't mean I think most men or women do this a lot)
Secondly, not all the aspies these women complain about are diagnosed and quite likely not all of them are aspies - some might instead be introverted and quite indifferent towards their girlfriend without having any psychological disorder and in other cases it might be the women who has a personality disorder or something else. That many descriptions of Aspergers Syndrome are more tailored to how it manifests itself in males also makes it more likely that a woman stumbles across it and sees her boyfriend in this description than that a man sees his girlfriend in the description - whether or not they have it. That the stereotypical aspie is male might also make it more likely that a women looks up Aspergers to find out what's wrong with her partner than that a man does the same.
Lastly, there may or may not be a gender imbalance in how many hobby-psychologists exist who like to gather superficial knowledge about disorders and diagnose people.

I'm not saying any of this is the case or the main reason for why there are many more articles bashing male aspies than female aspies; just that based on what I've observed I deem these things plausible.

The exact manifestation of symptoms of course is also on average different in men and women and the exact expectations in relationships on men and women also differ. I'm not claiming these things don't contribute to the different numbers of negative articles about male and female aspies.


Some of my family members might be nicer and more understanding than yours but I've never had a boyfriend and I have never had friends. I'm an aspie woman and if (any kind of) relationships are a measurement for how loveable a person is I am absolutely unlovable.
The people on this forum who are extremely desperate about not being able to find a lover might usually be male but that doesn't mean that aspie-women have no trouble with socializing and it also doesn't mean that every aspie-woman who would theoretically want a boyfriend - if she didn't have her disorder - or actually wants a boyfriend can get a (somewhat compatible)boyfriend.
Although being shy or insecure or initially more passive might be more accepted in women and this might facilitate some things for some aspie-women compared to their male counterparts.
Also, no one here said you should die and I don't think that anyone thinks it.

The stuff I have seen women complain about on ASPartners about their "aspies" I have seen the same complaints on Babycenter by NT women about their NT spouses. Not everything is an Asperger issue. They are just blaming it on the condition.

I don't know if saying "I am different" is a good idea for every aspie or at least not without immediately elaborating what kind of different. Lots of people nowadays (or at least lots of young people in many parts of Western Europe and parts of North America) believes to be different and sometimes it means "I am a spoiled brat who believes to be better than everyone else and more unique than everyone else".


This is very true.