Dating sites - do they actually work?

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I'd say that yes they do work, but it's definitely harder for some people than others. I live in a part of Victoria, Australia, and within 50km of me there is a grand total of about 7 people on OkCupid. Generally speaking, I'm bad at keeping a conversation flowing, I'm not a very physically attractive person and I'm very quiet. Considering a large amount of online dating is based on first impressions, this puts someone like myself in a pretty difficult situation.

That said, just over a month ago now, I met someone on OkCupid who weirdly (yes, very weirdly for me) I completely connected with. I knew what to say and we just flowed together so well. We've been talking to each other almost all day every day, and we've met probably about a dozen times now. I can't begin to understand it, I'm horrible at keeping a conversation flowing, but with her it's so natural. She thinks she has Aspergers (ASD) as well, so I think that's part of the reason we understand each other so well.

I still find it hard to believe I've met someone I connect so well with, because it's the first connection like this I've ever had. But it's convinced me that yes, dating sites do work. But it will be harder for some people than others, and if you're like me, maybe you just need to hope you find someone you connect with completely.

Oh, and don't read into those "Match %'s" too much. The person I've been talking about, we had a relatively low match percentage (just over 50%), but I feel like she's a 99.9% in reality.

Oh, the Knight of Venus strikes again!! Whenever I talk about behavioral facts in the majority of women, you get offended and you want to defend them all and prove it that you are not like them.

We get it already, you are not like them, you are speccciallll, you are unique, I swear - I believe you! I am not being sarcastic.

But seriously, to deny that the majority of women prefer men taller than themselves is too (as a must requirement).....burying head in the sand.
Look there are plenty of studies, interviews, tv debates, articles, dating sties stats, about this very fact.
And if you actually have a female-dominated social circle, you would hear it too. Go ask other women and see by yourself. There are also males' life experiences here, which you never consider them and always invalidate them: In my experience, I got disqualified quickly on that, before meeting them or on the very first date, so there was not even a chance to make them "overlook" it for other traits.

I am not inventing anything nor I am being unfair by stating this.

But Sweetleaf, seriously.....can you stop doing this frequently? To defend women every time I talk something about some women, it's a Love and Dating forum and I am straight , so normally I won't complain about men here.
When you talked about the player guys in okcupid, I didn't pop out and was like "Oh, so why are you then on Okcupid? Why do you want to date men if they are all that evil and players? I am not like this, you know! Not all men like this"

I didn't invalidate your experiences, nor I turned to Guardian of Men or something.

But on the other hand, you do this all the time, it's ridiculous.

I prefer women who are more than six feet tall but not many exist.

double post...

Last edited by Sweetleaf on 07 Feb 2017, 1:41 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I am offended? I don't feel like I am....and yes you are being sarcastic...

Also I don't think you read my post I just agreed most women may have a height preference...or at least a large enough majority for that to be a generalization. So yeah whatever most women have a preference for taller guys....most guys have a preference for shorter women to. So pay attention.

I don't question that in your experience women have rejected you for height alone, I do think those women are rather shallow if that was really their only reason regardless if you agree with that or not.

I mean unless I really am that much different than other females I would think quite a lot of them are more likely to compromise on some preferences if they find someone they hit it off with...rather than refuse anyone who doesn't fit every single one of their pre-determined preferences. Hence my example of a preference for long hair, not ending up being a requirement.

Also you do invalidate my experiences...every time I mention an experience to point out a different reaction/thought process a woman could have aside from the one you put forward, you sarcastically tell me how I am just trying to show off how unique I am or something .

Not true, studies showed, and I personally assure you, that there are more men tolerant to the idea of dating a woman taller than them than vice versa. It is not an equivalently 'balanced' thing as you tend to think.

Look for example at the guys' opinions hre: https://www.reddit.com/r/AskMen/comment ... ng_taller/

I totally agree with this comment:

Well I don't see a lot of guys under 5 feet, the one guy I've met who was shorter then that and expressed interest I did go on a few dates with but we concluded we didn't really have anything in common and went out separate ways.

Also I have mostly heard guys say they prefer girls shorter than them...and a reddit post isn't a study, if you really want to prove most guys don't prefer women shorter than them you'll have to do better than some reddit opinions.

People are far more shallow and less willing to compromise on online dating, which is what this thread is about.

Trust me, many men who've been here a while would agree much of your views are contrary to their experiences with many women.

I have to say I've heard a lot guys express that aswell, thats why I'm so self-conscious about wearing heels.

I'm not arguing that most girls dont prefer taller guys but my Dad is quite a bit shorter than my mum so it is possible for a taller woman to go out with a shorter man

http://research.similarminds.com/romant ... -women/227


And some researcher's words:




http://www.livescience.com/22179-evolut ... eight.html



and




http://www.medicaldaily.com/short-women ... ove-269037

And I am 100% sure those men do not include taller as preference, do it because they are aware that taller women won't accept them.

Women in average care way much more than men when it comes to height. Stop denying that.

But of course, you are gonna deny this too. You can't accept the idea that women in average are particularly pickier and shallower when it comes to height.

Which means, if you approach (in online dating scenario where looks matters most at first) a man who is shorter than you, there's about 20% chance he won't care about your height at all, not bad. But if I approach a woman who is taller than me, there's a 4% she would accept it - so it's not really worth it, hence why I stopped trying with taller women.

Last edited by The_Face_of_Boo on 08 Feb 2017, 4:34 am, edited 1 time in total.

What do you mean with "care"? Are you saying 4 guys on 5 would reject her because she is taller? Seriously?

That's according to the last study I posted - Still way better than 96 women on 100 rejecting him just for being shorter. don't you think?

And check the numbers, not only that, but women have greater height gap preferences than men. And unlike the popular belief, it's the short men, rather than tall men, who are more tolerant to accept taller women.

If it's almost universally accepted that shorter height is more desirable in women then why do heels exist at all? I don't know any man who wouldn't date a woman because she is too short for him.

I am sorry, but I can't really believe that 4 men on 5 would reject a woman just because she is tall, lol. That sounds stupid. And it's on a dating site, where a man is usually the one who has to start conversation. And add the fact that tall women are genereally liked, I think men in general see it as a plus.
The study seems flawed to me.

Wearing heels makes the calves, thighs and even buttocks look different, even if a guy wears them somehow the legs look... more shapely and a bit longer, so I don't think it's about the height.

I'm a bit strange about the height differences as I seek out men who are only 2-3 inches taller than me on average (and I'm pretty short) and I'm not attracted to really tall ones. Somehow looking up when I speak to someone feels very awkward and hugging someone while standing, who's of a similar height feels sooo good like our bodies match, like jigsaw pieces. I generally like similar height, similar weight, all sorts of similarities in my partners, but I'm pretty unique among my female friends who (all of them!) prefer much taller men.