19 Feb 2017, 4:44 pm
19 Feb 2017, 4:48 pm
auntblabby
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19 Feb 2017, 4:51 pm
RetroGamer87
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19 Feb 2017, 4:52 pm
auntblabby
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Joined: 12 Feb 2010
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Location: the island of defective toy santas
19 Feb 2017, 4:54 pm
19 Feb 2017, 5:10 pm
auntblabby wrote:
HelloSweetie wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
I didn't learn the necessity of it until way too late.
As long as you live you can learn.
being slow to learn, it comes a LOT harder. same for retaining what has been learnt.
I totally get that, happens to me too. It sucks.
Still even very very slow learning is still learning
One should dare to be one's biggest cheerleader though
RetroGamer87
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Age: 38
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19 Feb 2017, 6:45 pm
HelloSweetie wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
HelloSweetie wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
I didn't learn the necessity of it until way too late.
As long as you live you can learn.
being slow to learn, it comes a LOT harder. same for retaining what has been learnt.
I totally get that, happens to me too. It sucks.
Still even very very slow learning is still learning
One should dare to be one's biggest cheerleader though
20 Feb 2017, 4:49 am
RetroGamer87 wrote:
Same. I learn slow too. I'm behind but I feel like it's impossible to catch up while going at half speed. As I get older I get further and further behind my peers.
I so get that! And I am much older than you
What I have learned: letting go of comparing myself to others is another crucial step toward learning. Comparison takes a lot of effort and space in my head. I rather spend that time learning how to be more myself (aka authenticity).
It is a daily practice, it takes time and effort to just be me. Each time I catch even of glimpse of calm, I am grateful and proud of myself
20 Feb 2017, 5:04 am
RetroGamer87 wrote:
HelloSweetie wrote:
Personal hygiene is a fine self-care skill.
You might be one of the lucky ones that either was taught that or enjoy the biopsychosocial privilege to know how.
You might be one of the lucky ones that either was taught that or enjoy the biopsychosocial privilege to know how.
That means I'm privileged?
Awesome! I love being privileged!
That was no compliment
I meant privilege like this:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Privilege ... inequality)
Quote:
Privilege is a social theory that special rights or advantages are available only to a particular person or group of people. The term is commonly used in the context of social inequality, particularly in regard to age, disability, ethnic or racial category, gender, sexual orientation, religion and/or social class.[1] Two common examples would be having access to a higher education and housing.[1] Privilege can also be emotional or psychological, regarding comfort and personal self-confidence, or having a sense of belonging or worth in society.[2] It began as an academic concept, but has since become popular outside of academia.[3]
In your case
male
white
heterosexual
education
can write and read
have resources like internet (which is a luxury meaning you already have enough food, clean water, a roof over your head etc.)
Having ASD is a disability which can manifest in many ways like learning, physical issues, relationship, social and economical status etc.
Having a disability (or in my case many) taught me a few things: having empathy for those that share those disabilities and people with less privileges than me. It taught me thus a few of those important things that count in relationships like: vulnerability, kindness, gratitude, acceptance, authenticity, boundaries and self-care.
But I am still learning. As always.
It is the hard road though with lots of failure. I just chose to see failing as an opportunity to dust myself off and try again. And I count my blessings: like having a partner to share my struggles and this forum full of lovely people
Brene Brown quotes this a lot, and I couldn't agree more
Quote:
the wo/man in the arena
I have a post-it note above my desk with this reminder on it:
“At the end of the day and at the end of my life, I want to know that I contributed more than I criticized.”
It’s a touchstone for me when I’m feeling vulnerable about sharing my work in a world where it’s easy to attack and ridicule. It’s also helpful when I find myself using perfection, sarcasm, and criticism to protect myself or to discharge my own discomfort.
I also turn to this quote from Theodore Roosevelt’s speech Citizenship In A Republic, delivered at the Sorbonne (1910):
The Man in the Arena
“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better.
The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood;
who strives valiantly;
who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming;
but who does actually strive to do the deeds;
who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause;
who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”
I’m constantly reminding myself that I can’t wait until I’m perfect or bulletproof to walk into the arena because that’s never going to happen. We just have show up and let ourselves be seen – that’s my definition of “daring greatly.”
I have a post-it note above my desk with this reminder on it:
“At the end of the day and at the end of my life, I want to know that I contributed more than I criticized.”
It’s a touchstone for me when I’m feeling vulnerable about sharing my work in a world where it’s easy to attack and ridicule. It’s also helpful when I find myself using perfection, sarcasm, and criticism to protect myself or to discharge my own discomfort.
I also turn to this quote from Theodore Roosevelt’s speech Citizenship In A Republic, delivered at the Sorbonne (1910):
The Man in the Arena
“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better.
The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood;
who strives valiantly;
who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming;
but who does actually strive to do the deeds;
who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause;
who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”
I’m constantly reminding myself that I can’t wait until I’m perfect or bulletproof to walk into the arena because that’s never going to happen. We just have show up and let ourselves be seen – that’s my definition of “daring greatly.”
I wish everyone here to remember that everyday that we show up here, on this forum, sharing, being honest, being vulnerable is just so so brave
auntblabby
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20 Feb 2017, 5:12 am
Teddy Roosevelt was da MAN! 
The_Face_of_Boo
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21 Feb 2017, 9:31 am
22 Feb 2017, 2:37 am
RetroGamer87
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Joined: 30 Jul 2013
Age: 38
Gender: Male
Posts: 11,185
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07 Apr 2017, 9:52 pm
