More Thought on Incels.
QFT wrote:
rdos wrote:
QFT wrote:
rdos wrote:
Chemistry is a bit special in regards to autism. I think that if you want true chemistry as autistic, you need to look for other autistic people. Which is part of the problem. This means that increasing your dating pool is not a good idea since you are likely to just add more neurotypical people. Instead, you need to change the composition of your dating pool so it becomes more autistic.
Also, it's impossible to judge chemistry (at least autistic chemistry) with online dating. You need to meet people in real-life.
Also, it's impossible to judge chemistry (at least autistic chemistry) with online dating. You need to meet people in real-life.
So you are suggesting I look for autistic s rather than nt, and I look in real world rather than online. What real-world places are you alluding to?
There are two primary methods:
1. Use the offical autism support groups and go to their real life meetings
2. Learn how to detect autistics in real life and use that to detect autistics in nornal real life settings.
If you go for 2, then you can join ordinary sub-culutures that you enjoy and that are likely to attract autistic women.
Regarding 1, does wrong planet have real time meetings? And if so, do you think I am out of luck because I whined here too much? Should I look for a different autism group where I can have a fresh start?
Look for autism/Aspie support groups on Meetup.com. Also, Google "Autism Society" followed by the name of the nearest major city, or the state you live in. Until then you'll have to settle for online meetings, many of which are happening via Zoom.
Unfortunately, in-person meeting of support groups just aren't happening until the pandemic is over with.
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I think involuntary celibate is in of itself just a condition and the reason it has a bad connotation is because of the media focusing on the minority who are wacko shooters.
And I do think it is only men who suffer from involuntary celibacy and women don't, or at least it is much less heard of.
Hollywood_Guy wrote:
I think involuntary celibate is in of itself just a condition and the reason it has a bad connotation is because of the media focusing on the minority who are wacko shooters.
And I do think it is only men who suffer from involuntary celibacy and women don't, or at least it is much less heard of.
And I do think it is only men who suffer from involuntary celibacy and women don't, or at least it is much less heard of.
Oh yeah, I don't think most people would associate incel with that, but I could be wrong. I use to consider myself incel, before it had gotten a more negative connotation.
ironpony wrote:
Well it's been said before, why don't incels just go for prostitutes. But is it because they know that the prostitutes don't really want them so the relief and satisfaction is just not there with them therefore?
Many incels object to going to a prostitute for religious or personal reasons. Some can't afford their services.
Then you have Robert Aaron Long who was a sex addict with strong sex drive who was probably angry that the only women who would sleep with him were prostitutes. He took his anger out on them.
You also have the son of Hollwood filmaker named Elliot Rodger who targeted girls in a sorority house whom he desired. He was also frustrated that he was a good looking young man who nobody had ever kissed.
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ironpony wrote:
Well it's been said before, why don't incels just go for prostitutes. But is it because they know that the prostitutes don't really want them so the relief and satisfaction is just not there with them therefore?
Maybe they're shy.
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ironpony wrote:
Well it's been said before, why don't incels just go for prostitutes. But is it because they know that the prostitutes don't really want them so the relief and satisfaction is just not there with them therefore?
I was incel* for most of my young years, and I was elated to have discovered escorts. And the relief and the satisfaction were most definitely there! I always walked away really happy, except for a few bad apples. I'm not naive; I was fully aware that they'd want nothing to do with me if I wasn't paying them. But as long as they were nice to me and delivered as promised, I could easily suspend disbelief and not really care.______
* Distinction: "incel" with a lowercase L simply means "involuntarily celibate". "Incel" with an uppercase L is a name of a movement and its members.
ironpony wrote:
Oh I see... Well when it comes to incels, what is usually the reason why women do not want them? Is it because they have intellectual disabilities, or lower IQ that is usually the driving case?
None of the above. It's not intellect, it's not IQ, it's looks. The real reason is that incel men (lowercase L) are unattractive, especially their faces. Therefore, women don't want them. I didn't look even passably good until I was 25, and I didn't look good enough to fit in with conventionally attractive people until I was 28. When I took a cruise at age 29, and three girls jumped into a picture with me photobomb-style, with arms all around each other, that was a big shock to my system. (If they had met me 10 years prior, they'd probably have thrown something at me or told their boyfriends to beat me up.)I remember going in for a plastic surgery consultation back when I was 21. The doctor used a computer program to show "before" and "after" pictures of my face. I was elated to finally look better. But the cost ($10,000) and the aftercare time (6 weeks) were more than I could afford. Plus, I lived with my parents at the time, and had to worry about their reaction too. The doctor probably took pity on me after he saw how upset I looked, because he waived the $50 consultation fee he was gonna charge me, even though he came off as a gruff, dry man in his radio ads, which is how I found out about his practice.
The science behind attractiveness is that attractive faces are more symmetrical. More symmetry = better looks. So the plastic surgery would have probably been done on just one side of my face, to make it match the other.
Aspie1 wrote:
[..] It's not intellect, it's not IQ, it's looks. The real reason is that incel men (lowercase L) are unattractive, especially their faces. [...]
Their faces, hair, clothing, shoes, posture ... basically, anything you would notice about a man from a single still photograph is what attracts/repels women from a distance.
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cyberdad wrote:
Nades wrote:
cyberdad wrote:
Nades wrote:
"The prostitute".......she never asks people for money and she appears to know most of the people there.
She's probably a swinger and in all honesty, .
She's probably a swinger and in all honesty, .
Where is this location....(only asking for research purposes
Well. Over the years I've heard a lot of rumours about a particular area in Wales being a type of lovers lane/dogging spot. I was heading to town after work which happens to pass through the area (a large area with a main arterial road for surrounding towns). I pulled over to make a call and there were a disproportionate number of people also pulled over heading in and out of the woods. It didn't take me long to realise what was going on.
I popped up last Saturday again but in the night
to the epicenter of the supposed mythical "social" event.
Within half an hour that woman approached me and in an hour cars started flooding in. It wasn't the wild affair the rumors suggested and was instead very discreet, no peeking allowed, keep 5 yards away but don't be shy and wait to see what happens type of thing. It was a big notch up from lovers lane but none of them were dogging or had any interest in it. They all seemed to know each other and we're all very chilled out folks. One even took me for a tour of the area.
It was amazing that this stuff was happening right on my door step by the people who on first appearance you would least suspect.
I guess I done the research for you lol.
Well then, I understand now why this lass is a very popular lady with the boys. Actually sexuality has been so vilified over the centuries thanks to puritanical christian prohibitions against sex. It's really silly that what consenting adults do is made so seedy in the eyes of a judgemental public.
This is why Houston is not a good place for dating, especially in suburban areas.
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ironpony wrote:
Well it's been said before, why don't incels just go for prostitutes. But is it because they know that the prostitutes don't really want them so the relief and satisfaction is just not there with them therefore?
And prostitution as much as it could be a short-term solution, it doesn't clear the main issue with loneliness in these men and being unable to be with somebody who is personally only for them -- I don't mean that in a pure objectifying way, but in the sense that it could be a companion who you can fulfill desires and have an intimate relationship with whenever one wants to reach. Emotionally, prostitution is not the same thing.
Hollywood_Guy wrote:
And prostitution as much as it could be a short-term solution, it doesn't clear the main issue with loneliness in these men and being unable to be with somebody who is personally only for them -- I don't mean that in a pure objectifying way, but in the sense that it could be a companion who you can fulfill desires and have an intimate relationship with whenever one wants to reach. Emotionally, prostitution is not the same thing.
In some European countries I think medical insurance will pay for sex therapy involving trained young women who will engage in companionship once a month with eligible clients providing sexual relief.
This is what I mean by removing the stigma around sex. The incel movement would vanish, mental health would improve if governments legalised these services and it would also create enriching jobs for young people which is basically no different to other professional therapists.
Fnord wrote:
Aspie1 wrote:
[..] It's not intellect, it's not IQ, it's looks. The real reason is that incel men (lowercase L) are unattractive, especially their faces. [...]
Their faces, hair, clothing, shoes, posture ... basically, anything you would notice about a man from a single still photograph is what attracts/repels women from a distance.20 years ago, online dating used to provide ugly men a respite from the shallow real world. It also provided them an alternate reality where women could get to know their real self without their looks getting in the way. Today, the opposite is true. Women on dating sites get over 100 messages a day, and only the most super-attractive alpha males have a chance of meeting a woman for a date. (And with them being super-attractive alpha males, those dates often end in sex.) At the same time, all other men get tossed aside like full trash bags on garbage collection day.
Meanwhile, real-world dating provides a more mixed medium, such that unattractive men can attract a woman in ways other than looks, like having good dance skills or telling interesting stories. That's not to say it's a panacea. Plus, men in real life also have to complete with the 100+ messages women get on dating sites. But real-life interactions carry more weight. Which makes real-life dating almost as "fair" as online dating once was.
