Getting really tired of this.

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Conversely, I'm living on my ability to stay ahead of the era we're all operating in technologically.

If it doesn't kill me, it may be a living.

Otherwise maybe I'm biding my time until I can do more work with other methods.

tl:dr the future is NUTS & plz never ask me about my homework unless I am fired.

How the hell this affects my love life is subject to change. Whatever.

_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos

I guess I should point out that I'm kind of taken aback & stunned by any commonalities with users here I found though my ramblings in this thread. I wish I had better responses to that kind of stuff in the moment.

_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos

I guess what I was trying to say is that my stream of consciousness most certainly wasn't catering to anyone, so I'm surprised it turned out relatively OK. To be honest, I just got burnt out on people & deleted my maxed-out 99 text message inbox. There was nothing of relevance to me. That's either me being good about letting go of people or me being too good at it.

I'm one of those quasi-Buddhist zealots who focuses on practice more than theory, until my theory backlog intensifies, at which point I'm off the theoretical deep end learning about lasers or something.

_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos

Every time I click on this forum now I just get diverted to the bar thread by all the tasteless nonsense...

I'll be at the bar... The imaginary WP one anyway.

_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos

I guess I'm kind of on the rocks lately, theoretically I get to learn in a few hours if I'll still have a job at all in 9 days. I mean I guess I'm not lacking in qualifications, what's troubling me more is that I'm simply a weirdo. I have to sleep to get a project started too.

I'm supposed to study for a pretty serious I.T. certification program but I'd be lying if I said I had the energy while I'm also wrapping up two years of internhood. There is a totally absurd mountain of technology I need to be studying & there's basically never time.

Either all the factors that could keep me employed for now came about too late or I got enough work done all year that it doesn't matter.

I have no clue right now. Doing lots of engineering work has pretty much been my only backup plan, in lieu of most relationships.

_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos

Thanks, I guess it's nothing caffeine & take out can't eventually solve but yow am I ever confused.

_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos

Of course, the recipe for now is beer & maybe pasta.

I need to ride my bike.

It's snowing at 10:30PM. Not much though, f**k this drought I want to ski glaciers.

_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos

I guess I'll be relieved to get snowed in sooner or later regardless of whether I'm still employed by then. I applied for what looks to be a fairly challenging job testing mobile software in some robotic manner or another. I need to find out how well defined the coding environment is & learn it before I even blink but I know a pretty decent amount about the product(s). Mercifully I hopefully have just enough qualifications to get it done, I applied early & I already worked at the company almost 2.5 years, there's another job I didn't click they want to run by me, I have noodles to eat & my brain is not working anymore until I do so.

It's a big dumb sexist world in which one feels like their entire self worth is determined by some convoluted process having to do with capitalism.

I guess this means more ramblings pretty soon, stay tuned if you're that bored folks!

_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos

I'm ready for part 2 of the ramble, plz respond OP.

Well it's been a week or so & I'm finally full of enough caffeine to figure out what I was so unwittingly intent on rambling about. Perhaps it helps that I'm in this pinned Firefox tab slacking off when I should be doing my unemployment forms, or that the entire planet seems to be living in a cycle of oppression that unilaterally affects everyone in completely unpredictable, absurdly difficult ways. I'm not even on the good laptop right now, far from it, this is the little machine that needs a fan replacement. I guess I should mention that I see access to repairable electronics & internet as a human rights issue. Hopefully I just get to teach people crazy new technology for the rest of my life considering how tricky it is to be sure whether I know how to do anything else. Some people have enough money to buy all the kids on the planet free computers & they're not doing that yet, it's a weak strategy.

I mean honestly computing in it's many strange forms has been my only escape from all the nonsense that comes with HFA or whatever it's actually to be called when one is a hacker savant who seemingly has nothing else to do. I am a high school dropout who just verbatim asked to give away technology to universities for a living. Given that nobody is pretending this will magically be solved with vaccines I guess there's a lot of stuff I need to do, in no particular order, none of which I really know about.

The only meaning in the subtext here is that it's scary to think my brain is more mechanized than socialized. I suppose going to school wouldn't be as much a thorn in my side if it were ever presented as simply a good choice, rather than some extremely adverse minefield I'm supposed to survive. Everyone I know tells me I have no excuses for not getting a degree, everyone I know judges everyone on that basis. Can I just turn into hacker Oprah or something? Check underneath your seats for cooked-down intellectual property everybody.

tl;dr My accumulation of trivial social status freaks me out because I spend too much time with machines.

_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos