Alpha females

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Before you go, I would like to know whether you would have taken half of everything from a man like me.

To be honest, I was suspicious that you would like to be compensated for your emotional contribution, or for things, which you had done for yourself, even though you would not pledge to be loyal.

These are double-edged swords. I agree with the theory; contracts exist to keep friends friends if a business has to dissolve as well as keep a husband and wife from being made to absolutely hate each other via the connivance of their various lawyers, things stay cut and dry and no one can whisper in their ear that they should want more. The downside, it can initially feel like planning to fail, which they'd just have to know how to address the issue. Also you could be with someone who'd be offended by it but, then again, I'd also be very wary of proceeding in that relationship as it would be a sign that they either have some rather fantastic ideas about life (hopefully you'd see that long before planning a wedding though) or they really may not trust you or your intent quite as much as you had hope. If you're getting ready to marry you and still don't know you well enough or trust your intentions that's a pretty big problem (of course then again if a guy is a creep I'd phrase it the other way and ask her - why are you marrying him to begin with?).

Of course he is, I'd never ask from someone something I'm not willing to do myself. I don't believe in dominance from either side. We've been together for 8 years now, we both made sacrifices or compromises. But you know, when you really love someone, it stops being a sacrifice, it's bad for a relationship to feel you give up an important part of yourself and end up frustrated by an incomplete life. That's where I agree with you - people should look for a partner who shares their core values.





What I meant is that "stepping on toes" is highly subjective - some people cannot stand to be contradicted in any way, they always "know best".

I don't go around challenging people for the sake of it - it would be a waste of time and as I said I'm secure enough as a person not to feel the need to assert myself over others.

But if people "talk the talk but don't walk the walk" I'll call them out. If they ask from others more than they're willing to do themselves, I'll also call them out. I won't put up with anyone demanding respect based on age, gender etc - they have earn that respect.

One's duty or doing the right thing are also very subjective - they vary quite widely depending on values, culture and background.



The financial part is not so important for me - I am perfectly capable of fending for myself and I'm happy sharing my possessions with my husband - in most respects we're both rather frugal anyway. Taking a man's money because he made me suffer and treated me badly would give me no satisfaction. A prenup would do nothing for me - choosing my partner wisely and not settling for the first offer did a lot more.

Just to add - I'm not trying to change your views or argue with you - I'm just wondering if such rigid expectations won't make you miss good opportunities.

I'll be off now - it's Saturday evening here.

There are specific communities, offering the opportunities, which I consider good.

If we are to define Alpha as a pack role -- somebody who pushes others around to obtain happiness, somebody who takes advantage of others, but more importantly, someone who believes them self better than others -- I would never date someone like that. I doubt they would date someone like me, especially if said person wanted to take advantage to me.

The very role of 'Alpha', or instinctual behavior in general, is something that I'm aware of and going to do what I can to bring to extinction. As a whole, human behavior is incredibly predictable. The thing that infuriates me is that we do so little to 'free' ourselves from this social Darwinist nightmare we've created. Those who are socially fluent have caused the most damage in my life, and those who manipulate others make me sick.

I want to take you to a higher level. Knowledge reigns supreme over nearly everybody. We have logic and therefore have the ability to work against our born tendencies. I do this every day when I wake up and socialize with others. So do you. NTs should do the same thing, but don't have to learn how to do this. People are powerless when set against each other, and Alphas can manipulate this to make extreme malevolent behavior.

That is why the Spectrum disorder isn't a curse, but a blessing in disguise.

If we are to define 'Alpha' as a intelligent, career-oriented person who has a wide variety of interests and often cares about others and wants an equal relationship, I would do what I could to get a date with them. I knew a girl who was a clone of the girl from 'Juno', literally to the point that my parents would comment on her actions during the movie. But she also happened to be the nicest girl in school - - and ended up getting abused by the school's 'Alpha Male'. You can't judge where a person falls into the realm of physical-social just by initial interactions with others. You really have to know the person well before you broadly place them in certain generalized categories.

I seek out the louder girls intentionally, those who appear to others to be 'sarcastic', 'critical', 'loud' on the outside. Actually, like the girl from Juno. When you actually get to know these people (again, like the girl from Juno), they tend to be caring towards others, fun to talk to, and more understanding than the others in the room. A strong women isn't necessarily an 'Alpha' Woman. Equality in a relationship is something that's important to me. I like girls who ask me first, who take part in date planning if they intend to pay/go dutch. (though I never ask the girl to do this... I've met some who prefer this). Dating works best if the feeling is mutual.

The girl from Juno is sort of a model for the personality traits I look for in a life partner.

I don't want for my possible girlfriend to be defined or restricted by some sort of gender role. Relationship needs are very important to me, I seek girls who want an equal relationship free from the restrictions of culture. I like to cook and do really well with kids, don't mind cleaning as long as my wife isn't too obsessive about it. So if called to be a stay-at-home dad, I would jump at the opportunity.