21 Oct 2010, 12:51 am
21 Oct 2010, 1:05 am
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
zen_mistress wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
zen_mistress wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Greendragon wrote:
ApsieGuy wrote:
-I want an emotionally stable guy...despite not being emotionally stable myself
-I won't date an aspie.....even though im one
-I want a good looking guy even if im not good looking
Does this irritate anyone????
I know this probably won't end well though.
-I won't date an aspie.....even though im one
-I want a good looking guy even if im not good looking
Does this irritate anyone????
I know this probably won't end well though.
LOL! It is not just women on this site, dear! I can't tell you How many guys (NT) have the same complaint as you ... well replace the aspie comment with " guy with little money" and you have got the whole problem ... AND WOMEN about MEN ... it is a two way street.
WHy? Because most people of the female gender* want better than what they are in the hopes they will become better. It is not a conscious thing ... and many do not realize that they won't be any better off unless they work on themselves ... and some are aware of that but are just too broken to want to try ... and others think it is because everyone else is messed up because they can't look at themselves ...
But for those who are constantly reflecting on themself and others around them ... aware of why you think the way you do ... refocus it to be a source of amusement so you reduce your irritation and then let them just go their way. Not worth the effort of irritation even ... too many others out there who are more centered in life ... well, okay maybe not as many but definitely worth filtering ...
Corrected.
Oh? So I guess all the posts with men saying "I want a pretty girl, or a hot girl, I dont want a girl who is not nice looking" has nothing to do with wanting to increase their status via been seen with a nice looking partner. No, only women are choosy.
Do you know any male nurse married with a female doctor? or soldier with a female officer? or former male student with a college teacher? The other way around are very common in life.
As for looks, most men want hot girls for the fact that they make them excited , it's a sexual fantasy thing rather than trying to "increase their status" by being with a hot girl.
A hot well-known hooker wife would damage the guy's status in the eyes of his family and surrounding , while an ok-looking wife would do improve his status.
Donal Trump always wanted very hot women but he wouldn't marry a hot porn star since this would damage his business "image".
There are a few girls on the board who say the earn more than their partners, so yes. Many women these days have successful careers and do not need to find a high earning man.
From what I know about women in my country, income is a helpful thing, but what women like the most is someone who they can talk to, or who will be a good father, and that is one of the reasons why women look for good providers.
Having children puts you in a very vulnerable position, financially, and it is good to have someone who can provide, and be supportive too.
Men are more visual, and they are more likely to factor looks into their decision.
Some of them can be shallow to the point of being mean and sexist, just as there are some women who are gold diggers. But there are many men who are just looking for a lovely wife, just as women are looking for a man who they feel can provide.
Why do men on this board feel that it is somehow more virtuous to go for looks but women cannot decide to go for money? It is a double standard.
The reality is that dating is hard for many, and even finding a partner is no guarantee you wont go through a divorce later on.
I have been rejected quite a few times, a couple of the guys who rejected me behaved in a cruel manner. I even have one ex who badmouthed me all over Scotland, and I dont even live in Scotland.
I know , i know ...... the basis of evolutionary psychology and all this sh**.
Ironically , I had experienced this week what even a possible better "status" can magically do. It seems that there have been a rumor running around my workplace (since monday) that I will get promoted to a much higher position (which is partially true) and all of the sudden that girl who previously rejected to have lunch with me (during work time) and bluntly refused my dance advance in some event (when I was the entry level employee back then) started to flirt me left and right, complimenting my clothings , asking me what perfume I am wearing , asking me what I am doing while she leaning herself on my shoulder while I am sitting , coming all way from her office to ask me if I want some candy from the shop , sending me hi's on the internal instant messenger...... gawd, she's just a nuisance now.
and there's also that other girl that she was used to ask what's my first name for zillion times every time I talk to her , out of the blue, now she talks to me and she knows my full name! This is really miraculous : hear the miracle
The thing is though that that evolutionary psychology thing only applies to certain women and certain men.
Though there are quite a few women into income, and men primarily into looks, many arent. I remember a few of my friends dating penniless musicians, men who lived in vans, men on minimum wage jobs, or even unemployed.
Also there are a great many men who appreciate the personality of a woman and prize it over looks.
It is stupid and simplistic to reduce it all to some dumb theories some people have made about things, the fact is that human behaviour, and also animal behaviour, is more complicated than that. There are many environmental, personality and other factors that come into play.
As for these girls, well they are just 2 women who you know. Do you really think that all women are like that?
21 Oct 2010, 1:07 am
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Quote:
I even have one ex who badmouthed me all over Scotland, and I dont even live in Scotland.
Wait! Do you mean that this echo from the sky that I just heard ".....she's a baaaad girl , she's a craaaaaaazy pets-lover" is him? or am I just getting too old?
Well it was over 10 years ago, so I am hoping he would have stopped by now.
I still dont think he would talk to me if I saw him though. Granted I was a terrible girlfriend, unempathetic and moody, but I wasnt malicious and he seemed to conclude I was.
21 Oct 2010, 1:10 am
21 Oct 2010, 2:54 am
21 Oct 2010, 3:38 pm
21 Oct 2010, 3:48 pm
21 Oct 2010, 4:03 pm
21 Oct 2010, 4:35 pm
21 Oct 2010, 4:39 pm
21 Oct 2010, 4:48 pm
21 Oct 2010, 5:07 pm
21 Oct 2010, 5:08 pm
21 Oct 2010, 5:22 pm
21 Oct 2010, 5:40 pm
[quote="The_Face_of_Boo"]
I know , i know ...... the basis of evolutionary psychology and all this sh**.
Ironically , I had experienced this week what even a possible better "status" can magically do. It seems that there have been a rumor running around my workplace (since monday) that I will get promoted to a much higher position (which is partially true) and all of the sudden that girl who previously rejected to have lunch with me (during work time) and bluntly refused my dance advance in some event (when I was the entry level employee back then) started to flirt me left and right, complimenting my clothings , asking me what perfume I am wearing , asking me what I am doing while she leaning herself on my shoulder while I am sitting , coming all way from her office to ask me if I want some candy from the shop , sending me hi's on the internal instant messenger...... gawd, she's just a nuisance now.
and there's also that other girl that she was used to ask what's my first name for zillion times every time I talk to her , out of the blue, now she talks to me and she knows my full name! This is really miraculous : hear the miracle[/quote
A naturalistic case study in action! Wish I could have been there to take notes, compare previous and current data, etc. I think maybe I am too psychology obsessed. And derailing the thread.
Has anyone heard of the university based "will you have sex with me tonight?" study. It's a good one.
21 Oct 2010, 5:43 pm
BokeKaeru wrote:
BPalmer wrote:
Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying "The woman's place is in the home", nor do I have any problem with having a boss who's female. The point is she would've known it would make me undesirable to other women; that's what made it so utterly heinous.
Jeez, and god forbid your boss, who has at least some responsibilities for making sure that the company or some part thereof functions well, gives priority to putting the best people (to her knowledge) in the most important positions over your dating life. That IS heinous, that not all women are paying close attention to the effect their actions have on your finding a partner.
In all seriousness, regardless of your sex or relationship status, you should be promoted, demoted, fired or left where you are on your merit alone, and not how badly you feel you need a girlfriend.In general... a ton of of the responses to this thread (including the OP) are making me never want to even contemplate having a romantic relationship again, and are making me glad that I'm probably too assertive and unfeminine, almost certainly too visibly disabled, and definitely too asexual (and damn proud!) to even be considered by some people. Is it that hard to get it through your heads that misogynistic douchebaggery is about ten times more unattractive than Asperger's, emotional baggage and physical ugliness combined? I mean, how much would you want a relationship with someone, romantically, sexually or otherwise, if they were constantly putting down men, or Aspies, or whatever other group you identify with, and blaming that group for all their problems?
And please, for the love of god, stop it with the sexist evo psych quackery. Women are individual people whose likes, wants and cognitive abilities today are not defined by how early humans might have lived. If evolution comes into it at all, I can hardly imagine that it has a significant impact by comparison to the culture one is born into, one's personal history, one's individual biological functioning or any other number of factors. While I don't have standing to dismiss the entire field of evolutionary psychology and am uncomfortable with the idea of doing so based on what I've seen of it on the internet, I find its use to give some supposed scientific validity to gender stereotypes very suspicious, and extremely annoying, offensive and condescending. I am sure that I and most other women are better equipped to determine how logical we are (if in fact logic vs. emotion is a proper dichotomy at all, which I remain unconvinced of), what we want and why we want it, based on our own experiences with being ourselves, than men are to make guesses based on what they guess that some people thousands and thousands of years ago may or may not have done, thought and felt.
An indispensable part of finding a decent partner is being a decent person yourself. Decency is severely lacking in many of the posts I have seen here, however, which might explain why threads like this exist in the first place.
QFT. i didn't want your wisdom to get buried. still sad you want to give up though. just remember:
WP (or any internet forum) =/= real-life
there are some very extreme opinions on here like i've never experienced with real people....
