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Stalk
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22 Jan 2013, 4:01 pm

I've always wondered about these women that end up marrying a guy because he is, lets say, a good provider, but she never really falls in love. She says she learned to love the guy. I think they are BS themselves, or maybe they just marry so that they don't have to be alone and can have kids as their parents probably expect of them.



The_Face_of_Boo
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22 Jan 2013, 4:09 pm

http://www.femalefirst.co.uk/relationsh ... 68977.html

Now, on the other hand, how many men you know can date 24 women a year????

THE APPLE BASKET IS NOT A FICTION.

:P



hyperlexian
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22 Jan 2013, 4:11 pm

Stalk wrote:
I've always wondered about these women that end up marrying a guy because he is, lets say, a good provider, but she never really falls in love. She says she learned to love the guy. I think they are BS themselves, or maybe they just marry so that they don't have to be alone and can have kids as their parents probably expect of them.

probably she is the mirror image of the guy who marries the woman who is the good mother for his children, the pillar of the church, the woman his parents really got along with (but that he didn't love). or the woman who was really hot. or the good provider. or whatever. people can marry for a lot of reasons other than love, i think.


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Tyri0n
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22 Jan 2013, 4:18 pm

hyperlexian wrote:
Tyri0n wrote:
hyperlexian wrote:
Tyri0n wrote:
hyperlexian wrote:
uhhhhh, do you not understand that women who wait for men to ask them out will not have the men they want asking them out? that is rejection, and it stings exactly the same way. i know, because i have been rejected both ways. and women who ask men out directly... get rejected directly.

so surprise!! !! every girl in the world knows how rejection feels too.


I really agree with this, and I can identify. I never ask women out. I expect them to ask me out because I can't read body language regarding interest, flirting, etc. So I have a similar experience. I have gotten dates this way, but it's frustrating because I never get asked out by the women I want asking me out (I'm not even really that picky), just the ones who probably have fewer options than average. It is very irritating and one reason I have almost given up on dating after tons of unsatisfying experience of going out with people I'm just not really attracted to, or have serious issues like untreated bipolar, etc. that don't work well with my autism. So I think this is how women must feel in many cases - right?

yes, i think that is exactly it!


So what's the solution? Is it easier to get braver as you get older? I have a deep-seated fear of being called creepy even though it's never happened (at least to my face)?

yeah, i have taken to calling myself creepy. i am pretty upfront about my creeperish tendencies, but that's a story for another day.

i think it might sometimes be easier to get braver because you have less to lose. people's opinions do not matter too much as you get older. but some people might disagree. i don't have any easy answers, sorry bout that. -_-


I think I've actually become more concerned about what people think of me the older I've gotten, as I've gotten more aware of what people think in general. I used to be up for almost anything socially; now, I avoid some social situations, behaviors, etc. if I think I might appear more awkward or weird. For you, did this peak and then decline at some point?



hyperlexian
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22 Jan 2013, 4:20 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
http://www.femalefirst.co.uk/relationships/Women+Date+24+Men+A+Year-268977.html

Now, on the other hand, how many men you know can date 24 women a year????

THE APPLE BASKET IS NOT A FICTION.

:P

if there are very many women dating 24 men a year, then the men are also doing a lot of dating too. otherwise the averages wouldn't work. so either there are a lot of women at home getting NO dates, or there are a lot of people all dating each other. of course, the truth is most likely in the middle somewhere, with most people getting a few dates here and there.


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hyperlexian
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22 Jan 2013, 4:24 pm

Tyri0n wrote:
hyperlexian wrote:
Tyri0n wrote:
hyperlexian wrote:
Tyri0n wrote:
hyperlexian wrote:
uhhhhh, do you not understand that women who wait for men to ask them out will not have the men they want asking them out? that is rejection, and it stings exactly the same way. i know, because i have been rejected both ways. and women who ask men out directly... get rejected directly.

so surprise!! !! every girl in the world knows how rejection feels too.


I really agree with this, and I can identify. I never ask women out. I expect them to ask me out because I can't read body language regarding interest, flirting, etc. So I have a similar experience. I have gotten dates this way, but it's frustrating because I never get asked out by the women I want asking me out (I'm not even really that picky), just the ones who probably have fewer options than average. It is very irritating and one reason I have almost given up on dating after tons of unsatisfying experience of going out with people I'm just not really attracted to, or have serious issues like untreated bipolar, etc. that don't work well with my autism. So I think this is how women must feel in many cases - right?

yes, i think that is exactly it!


So what's the solution? Is it easier to get braver as you get older? I have a deep-seated fear of being called creepy even though it's never happened (at least to my face)?

yeah, i have taken to calling myself creepy. i am pretty upfront about my creeperish tendencies, but that's a story for another day.

i think it might sometimes be easier to get braver because you have less to lose. people's opinions do not matter too much as you get older. but some people might disagree. i don't have any easy answers, sorry bout that. -_-


I think I've actually become more concerned about what people think of me the older I've gotten, as I've gotten more aware of what people think in general. I used to be up for almost anything socially; now, I avoid some social situations, behaviors, etc. if I think I might appear more awkward or weird. For you, did this peak and then decline at some point?

somewhere around age 30, i felt a bit less like i was being watched by people, i think


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The_Face_of_Boo
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22 Jan 2013, 4:28 pm

hyperlexian wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
http://www.femalefirst.co.uk/relationships/Women+Date+24+Men+A+Year-268977.html

Now, on the other hand, how many men you know can date 24 women a year????

THE APPLE BASKET IS NOT A FICTION.

:P

if there are very many women dating 24 men a year, then the men are also doing a lot of dating too. otherwise the averages wouldn't work. so either there are a lot of women at home getting NO dates, or there are a lot of people all dating each other. of course, the truth is most likely in the middle somewhere, with most people getting a few dates here and there.


Or there are a minority of men who are getting the largest part of total dates, which is most probably the case.



hyperlexian
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22 Jan 2013, 4:30 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
hyperlexian wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
http://www.femalefirst.co.uk/relationships/Women+Date+24+Men+A+Year-268977.html

Now, on the other hand, how many men you know can date 24 women a year????

THE APPLE BASKET IS NOT A FICTION.

:P

if there are very many women dating 24 men a year, then the men are also doing a lot of dating too. otherwise the averages wouldn't work. so either there are a lot of women at home getting NO dates, or there are a lot of people all dating each other. of course, the truth is most likely in the middle somewhere, with most people getting a few dates here and there.


Or there are a minority of men who are getting the largest part of total dates, which is most probably the case.

it is probably a small number of girls that are also dating that small number of men too. most women don't seem to date a lot of men.


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The_Face_of_Boo
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22 Jan 2013, 4:33 pm

hyperlexian wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
hyperlexian wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
http://www.femalefirst.co.uk/relationships/Women+Date+24+Men+A+Year-268977.html

Now, on the other hand, how many men you know can date 24 women a year????

THE APPLE BASKET IS NOT A FICTION.

:P

if there are very many women dating 24 men a year, then the men are also doing a lot of dating too. otherwise the averages wouldn't work. so either there are a lot of women at home getting NO dates, or there are a lot of people all dating each other. of course, the truth is most likely in the middle somewhere, with most people getting a few dates here and there.


Or there are a minority of men who are getting the largest part of total dates, which is most probably the case.

it is probably a small number of girls that are also dating that small number of men too. most women don't seem to date a lot of men.



I dunno, there's no clear study to prove either way.

But why don't you make some personal observation?

Based on my observation in real life, a woman who's actively seeking is usually more frequent dater than the seeker man.



hyperlexian
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22 Jan 2013, 4:36 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
hyperlexian wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
hyperlexian wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
http://www.femalefirst.co.uk/relationships/Women+Date+24+Men+A+Year-268977.html

Now, on the other hand, how many men you know can date 24 women a year????

THE APPLE BASKET IS NOT A FICTION.

:P

if there are very many women dating 24 men a year, then the men are also doing a lot of dating too. otherwise the averages wouldn't work. so either there are a lot of women at home getting NO dates, or there are a lot of people all dating each other. of course, the truth is most likely in the middle somewhere, with most people getting a few dates here and there.


Or there are a minority of men who are getting the largest part of total dates, which is most probably the case.

it is probably a small number of girls that are also dating that small number of men too. most women don't seem to date a lot of men.



I dunno, there's no clear study to prove either way.

But why don't you make some personal observation?

Based on my observation in real life, a woman who's actively seeking is usually more frequent dater than the seeker man.

again, the average would be the same. it would have to be!! ! so it's not like women are out dating more men, while men are dating fewer women. mathematically, it is impossible.


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The_Face_of_Boo
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22 Jan 2013, 4:45 pm

hyperlexian wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
hyperlexian wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
hyperlexian wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
http://www.femalefirst.co.uk/relationships/Women+Date+24+Men+A+Year-268977.html

Now, on the other hand, how many men you know can date 24 women a year????

THE APPLE BASKET IS NOT A FICTION.

:P

if there are very many women dating 24 men a year, then the men are also doing a lot of dating too. otherwise the averages wouldn't work. so either there are a lot of women at home getting NO dates, or there are a lot of people all dating each other. of course, the truth is most likely in the middle somewhere, with most people getting a few dates here and there.


Or there are a minority of men who are getting the largest part of total dates, which is most probably the case.

it is probably a small number of girls that are also dating that small number of men too. most women don't seem to date a lot of men.



I dunno, there's no clear study to prove either way.

But why don't you make some personal observation?

Based on my observation in real life, a woman who's actively seeking is usually more frequent dater than the seeker man.

again, the average would be the same. it would have to be!! ! so it's not like women are out dating more men, while men are dating fewer women. mathematically, it is impossible.



Yea but men and women don't necessarily have the same value of standard deviation.

What i mean by here, if you pick a man from the crowd of daters, it's more likely to pick one with a lower average of dates that a picked woman by random.



Stalk
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25 Jan 2013, 8:21 am

hyperlexian wrote:
Stalk wrote:
I've always wondered about these women that end up marrying a guy because he is, lets say, a good provider, but she never really falls in love. She says she learned to love the guy. I think they are BS themselves, or maybe they just marry so that they don't have to be alone and can have kids as their parents probably expect of them.

probably she is the mirror image of the guy who marries the woman who is the good mother for his children, the pillar of the church, the woman his parents really got along with (but that he didn't love). or the woman who was really hot. or the good provider. or whatever. people can marry for a lot of reasons other than love, i think.


What I was trying to point out, women that marry hoping that it will turn into love later. I've heard the term used, "learn to love" but that is not the same as being in-love. I would imagine that lonely guys would do the same. I don't think the man who marries a hot woman would hope that he finds love later is a mirror of what I was getting at. If you follow.



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25 Jan 2013, 7:33 pm

actual there has been study on men and women average number of partner.
and both men and women have equal amount of partner. the things is women lie about number of partner they have.
http://www.newscientist.com/article/dn3 ... -lies.html

study shows that nt men and women have more or less equal numbers of partner
but when you compare aspie men and aspie women. aspie women have way more partner than aspie men do.



The_Face_of_Boo
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25 Jan 2013, 7:34 pm

billiscool wrote:
actual there has been study on men and women average number of partner.
and both men and women have equal amount of partner. the things is women lie about number of partner they have.
http://www.newscientist.com/article/dn3 ... -lies.html

study shows that nt men and women have more or less equal numbers of partner
but when you compare aspie men and aspie women. aspie women have way more partner than aspie men do.


We were talking about dates, not partners, big difference.



billiscool
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25 Jan 2013, 9:41 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
billiscool wrote:
actual there has been study on men and women average number of partner.
and both men and women have equal amount of partner. the things is women lie about number of partner they have.
http://www.newscientist.com/article/dn3 ... -lies.html

study shows that nt men and women have more or less equal numbers of partner
but when you compare aspie men and aspie women. aspie women have way more partner than aspie men do.


We were talking about dates, not partners, big difference.


what's the difference.



Iamnothuman
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27 Jan 2013, 6:46 am

I have Aspergers and I'm in a relationship with my best friend, he's 18 and I'm 17. He's very shy and is very similar to me. His parents have also been wondering if he has AS, and I'm pretty sure he does.. so yes, I guess I do :)