Can we just get rid of this forum?

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Joined: 16 Sep 2011
Age: 35
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Location: Republic of Ireland

15 Dec 2011, 3:03 pm

It's truly incredible to see two people arguing over which of them is the most pathetic and inferior. Does this forum really attract people with such entrenched self hatred, justified or otherwise? I mean, relationships really aren't worth that level of angst.

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mv
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15 Dec 2011, 3:12 pm

seoulgamer wrote:

Am I considered one of those two people? Because I don't consider myself inferior or pathetic and I certainly don't hate myself. I'm trying to point out that I've identified my limitations and have still endeavored to push past them, even with failure most of the time. I'm proud of what little I have been able to accomplish, because it's the trying that's important.

MR20
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15 Dec 2011, 3:18 pm

mv wrote:

MR20 wrote:

mv wrote:

MR20 wrote:

mv wrote:

MR20 wrote:

This stuff gets on my nerves. He's been rejected and turned down by women his entire life, how the hell is he supposed to keep a positive attitude. He's most likely lonely, bitter, depressed and frustrated, it's hard NOT to be negative when you feel that way.

He's come to terms with the fact that he'll never find a mate because of how pathetic and inferior of a human being he is. (no disrespect, I'm comparing to normal "NT" people or high functioning autistics/AS)

Even if he had a "positive attitude" he wouldn't be able to get a date because of un-attractiveness and low functioning. No decent-looking women would ever go out with someone like him. (or me)

It's not women fault, it's just the fact that we were born inferior/inadequate and have to live with the loneliness/disappointments. It's unfair but it's reality. I mean who could blame you if you have a negative outlook on the world.

Guess what, though? I have accepted the fact that I will never have a mate, either. And I tried and tried and tried and tried, probably WAY more than you and LonerMutant (OP). But I'm not bitter about it. It's horrifying if you choose to look at it that way, but there is SO MUCH to life out there. Not everyone has to live your sh** attitude, even given the same affliction/circumstances.

How can you compare your situation to mine/lonermuntant. It's just appalling. You have been with TONs of people. You have dated numerous times and have even been married. You're attractive (never seen a picture, just going with how you described yourself), people enjoy your company and like being around you. You're also pretty smart. I'm sure you take pride in those things.

I am hideously ugly (tons of females have to me that) I'm not smart and I'm slow (tons of people [male and female] have told me that over the course of my life) I'm 25 and I haven't so much as a phone number from a girl/woman.

Just imagine yourself being so ugly/repulsive that any member of the opposite sex (even same sex as friends) want nothing to do with you. Just imagine haven't not dated/touched/kissed a male at all at your age (considering how hyper-sexual you are) I don't think I'm exaggerating when I say you probably would have went insane. The loneliness, depression, bitterness, despair, and frustration from not haven't had sex at all would've been to much

I just gave out an example, I don't crave sex and wouldn't want it until I'm married. I do crave love though, and the thought of someone actually wanting to be around me for an extended period of time, enjoying my company. I'd just want to experience that once in my life, however unlikely it is.

Oh and one more thing, I really resent the fact that you said I haven't tried. I have to tried to talk to tons of girls/women, and I've been rejected (also humiliated and ridiculed) every single time. I don't have any attractive qualities (don't even have to list them) and most of them view me as a repulsive weirdo. Can you blame me for being bitter/having a negative attitude?

It's just insulting that you would compare your situation to mine. It's nothing alike. People ACTUALLY want to be around you.

Hahahahaha! You know NOTHING about me! Everything I've had, I RISKED MYSELF and MY COMFORT to get, and most of the time I failed (and continue to fail). That's the difference between you and me, one of many. And I know when my failures are due to me (all of them are). I NEVER blame anyone else or society at large. That's just an excuse. A very safe one, because your situation never has to change, then. Good luck with that. I'm sure it will serve you well.

I've never blamed society for who I am. I blame myself because of how pathetically inadequate I am. It's no one else fault. BTW I have gone outside my comfort zone. I have tried to change myself and be outgoing many times in the past to no success. I put myself in numerous situations of overwhelming social pressure just make friends, and it's not like I wasn't terrified out of my mind when I talked to females, but I did it anyway so that I could date and possible have a GF.

I have tried, it's only recently (like the past 3-4 years) that I've keep to myself, never leaving my house. I got tired of getting hurt/used by people I thought were friends. BTW, I'd appreciate it if you don't talk down to me. You don't know much about me either.

This is not me talking down to you. Not even close.

Well it seemed like it. BTW in that post you responded to, I didn't mean it to say you didn't work hard to get what you got or it somehow came easy. I just tried to give you some perspective on why I feel the way I feel based on how my life has turned out. It seemed like you were a bit insensitive or didn't understand why I felt that way.

That's all.

seoulgamer
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15 Dec 2011, 3:24 pm

mv wrote:

seoulgamer wrote:

It did come across that way to me, but I see your point. I'm not exactly a shining pillar of optimism myself.

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DetestableInsect
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Joined: 26 Nov 2011
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15 Dec 2011, 3:33 pm

mv wrote:

I'm proud of what little I have been able to accomplish, because it's the trying that's important.

Um...okay. I guess that's your opinion, but I actually want to succeed at my goals. Trying and failing loses its luster very quickly in my experience.

But I don't know. I guess you can go teach people with down syndrome to be college professors, encourage little people to become NBA stars, and become this girl's modeling agent. Then they can all try, and try - and well, they'll never have to stop trying - because they'll never make any progress. Beautiful.

mv
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15 Dec 2011, 3:35 pm

DetestableInsect wrote:

mv wrote:

I'm proud of what little I have been able to accomplish, because it's the trying that's important.

Wow. SO MISSES the point I was trying to make (and obviously did not read properly what I wrote). Of course your goals have to be realistic. I don't think daily bathing is beyond anyone's capabilities. Certainly no one with opposable thumbs who can type and spell properly.

B3astM4n
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15 Dec 2011, 3:40 pm

Whether your goals are realistic or not, you NEED to try and you NEED to fail sometimes. Yeah, it blows but (And I'm not going to go with the whole, you learn from your mistakes thing here) you need it for personal growth. It's like rich kids who have beamers, live in a big houses, parents pay for everything, then suddenly they got cut off and need to get a job. I never had that, had to work and earn everything, be it better skills, money, whatever. Then I meet guys my age who have that rich kid situation and they don't know jack s**t. 25 years old, NT's, and they can't budget, save money, lazy workers, hell I could go on for pages about the stuff they can't do or don't know. All because they never had to try, and they never failed because someone was always there to pick up the pieces or bail them out.

You need to fail once in awhile, it's good for you.

mv
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15 Dec 2011, 3:43 pm

B3astM4n wrote:

Whether your goals are realistic or not, you NEED to try and you NEED to fail sometimes. Yeah, it blows but (And I'm not going to go with the whole, you learn from your mistakes thing here) you need it for personal growth. It's like rich kids who have beamers, live in a big houses, parents pay for everything, then suddenly they got cut off and need to get a job. I never had that, had to work and earn everything, be it better skills, money, whatever. Then I meet guys my age who have that rich kid situation and they don't know jack sh**. 25 years old, NT's, and they can't budget, save money, lazy workers, hell I could go on for pages about the stuff they can't do or don't know. All because they never had to try, and they never failed because someone was always there to pick up the pieces or bail them out.

You need to fail once in awhile, it's good for you.

And this is what I was trying to say, but he said it better than I could. Thank you.

MR20
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15 Dec 2011, 3:44 pm

seoulgamer wrote:

mv wrote:

seoulgamer wrote:

It did come across that way to me, but I see your point. I'm not exactly a shining pillar of optimism myself.

I'm trying to figure out something. What's wrong with me saying the stuff i say about myself? All of it is probably true, all of the evidence is there.

Most people would describe me this way if I hung out with them for extended period of time. Just about everyone I've met, hung out, or interacted with in the past view me this way.

I'm just reacting to what I see. It's not about being positive/negative, optimistic/pessimistic, it's just reality.

I can't lie to myself

DetestableInsect
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15 Dec 2011, 3:47 pm

mv wrote:

You're making assumptions about MR20, and others. Obviously if it was possible they would pull themselves out of their depression and have a good go at their objectives.

Where did MR20's idea that he couldn't bathe come from? From past failures. It's a strong point of shame for him, so he has tried to succeed, and failed. And failed. Now he's depressed and can't muster the energy or will to complete these very simple tasks.

Externally he may seem okay, his ability to write may give a false impression of intelligence and competence - but I take him at his word if he claims he can't accomplish his goals. I know because I've been there for years. Not everyone is like you, and what works for you may not work for others. It's cruel to blame a sick person for their illness, and I can only guess your hostility comes from insecurity in your own belief to control your destiny.

But maaaaaaybe I'm wrong. Either way, no offense and have a good day. :wtg:

DetestableInsect
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15 Dec 2011, 3:49 pm

B3astM4n wrote:

Whether your goals are realistic or not, you NEED to try and you NEED to fail sometimes. Yeah, it blows but (And I'm not going to go with the whole, you learn from your mistakes thing here) you need it for personal growth. It's like rich kids who have beamers, live in a big houses, parents pay for everything, then suddenly they got cut off and need to get a job. I never had that, had to work and earn everything, be it better skills, money, whatever. Then I meet guys my age who have that rich kid situation and they don't know jack sh**. 25 years old, NT's, and they can't budget, save money, lazy workers, hell I could go on for pages about the stuff they can't do or don't know. All because they never had to try, and they never failed because someone was always there to pick up the pieces or bail them out.

You need to fail once in awhile, it's good for you.

Good speech to give at the soup kitchen during holidays :lol:

MR20
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15 Dec 2011, 3:49 pm

mv wrote:

DetestableInsect wrote:

mv wrote:

I'm proud of what little I have been able to accomplish, because it's the trying that's important.

Wow. SO MISSES the point I was trying to make (and obviously did not read properly what I wrote). Of course your goals have to be realistic. I don't think daily bathing is beyond anyone's capabilities. Certainly no one with opposable thumbs who can type and spell properly.

This is why I laugh at people who lists this as a "strength" for me (about the ONLY thing they can think of) Just about anyone can type decently. Heck my 10 year old niece can type pretty well pretty on a PC.

It's not impressive at all in any way.

Sweetleaf
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15 Dec 2011, 3:59 pm

mv wrote:

DetestableInsect wrote:

mv wrote:

I'm proud of what little I have been able to accomplish, because it's the trying that's important.

I feel daily bathing is beyond my capabilities, for one I usually just settle for a shower......but when my depression get's bad even getting up in the morning is a chore let alone having the energy and motivation to take a shower.

Both are fair points one has to try and risk failure to succeed at anything, but constant failure wont do anything for ones confidence.

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mv
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15 Dec 2011, 4:10 pm

By the way, for most (all) of you quoting me on here: I've struggled with depression for longer than you have been ALIVE. I know exactly what it's like. I'm trying to be encouraging.

I know exactly what it's like to be absolutely, completely alone in the world. Hell, I know what it's like to be all that and *still* have nonnegotiable responsibilities to other people and other things.

I know exactly what it's like to have to struggle to put one foot out of bed. And I know what it's like to do all that without the sounding board of the internet, by the way.

B3astM4n
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Joined: 27 Nov 2011
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15 Dec 2011, 4:11 pm

DetestableInsect wrote:

B3astM4n wrote:

Whether your goals are realistic or not, you NEED to try and you NEED to fail sometimes. Yeah, it blows but (And I'm not going to go with the whole, you learn from your mistakes thing here) you need it for personal growth. It's like rich kids who have beamers, live in a big houses, parents pay for everything, then suddenly they got cut off and need to get a job. I never had that, had to work and earn everything, be it better skills, money, whatever. Then I meet guys my age who have that rich kid situation and they don't know jack sh**. 25 years old, NT's, and they can't budget, save money, lazy workers, hell I could go on for pages about the stuff they can't do or don't know. All because they never had to try, and they never failed because someone was always there to pick up the pieces or bail them out.

You need to fail once in awhile, it's good for you.

Good speech to give at the soup kitchen during holidays :lol:

It's also the speech that saved me from turning into some unemployed, pill popping, never leave the basement mess. Well, at least you're fluent in sarcasm. That's a good start.

MR20
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15 Dec 2011, 4:16 pm

B3astM4n wrote:

DetestableInsect wrote:

B3astM4n wrote:

Whether your goals are realistic or not, you NEED to try and you NEED to fail sometimes. Yeah, it blows but (And I'm not going to go with the whole, you learn from your mistakes thing here) you need it for personal growth. It's like rich kids who have beamers, live in a big houses, parents pay for everything, then suddenly they got cut off and need to get a job. I never had that, had to work and earn everything, be it better skills, money, whatever. Then I meet guys my age who have that rich kid situation and they don't know jack sh**. 25 years old, NT's, and they can't budget, save money, lazy workers, hell I could go on for pages about the stuff they can't do or don't know. All because they never had to try, and they never failed because someone was always there to pick up the pieces or bail them out.

You need to fail once in awhile, it's good for you.

Good speech to give at the soup kitchen during holidays :lol:

It's also the speech that saved me from turning into some unemployed, pill popping, never leave the basement mess. Well, at least you're fluent in sarcasm. That's a good start.

just.... wow

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