DataSage’s Alpha Male Guide to Meeting Women (JULY UPDATE!!)

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Did you maintain the post that you
deleted? I contend that it was nothing
but a reasoned response to your post
dated Mon Jul 30, 2007 8:32 pm.

I'm not sniping it. I'm just bemused about the moderator powers given to DataSage, regardless of this argument. Is it confined to this thread, or his he a modertaor in general?

Read my previous post. It only applies to this thread.

EDIT: That said, the guide has been updated, this time with a lot of stuff. I decided to just finish it up tonight, so enjoy the new stuff guys. I'll be on to take questions here in the thread.

Hey now, what about aspie women? We don't fit the societal stereotypes of being empathisers and being good at body language either. So does that mean the alpha male guide is just for Aspie guys wanting to pick up NT ladies?

Sometimes I think aspies are better off with other aspies as there is more likely to be some common understanding of the condition between them. I went to a talk by Tony Attwood last year and he said it is common for aspie guys to go for "super NT women".

These women are generally very expressive and able to take control of organising all the practicalities of life. The big drawback is after a while she will tend to think she is doing all the "giving" and not getting much back. It's also a problem if she thinks she is going to change her guy into an NT clone.

Aspie women who do end up marrying or being in long term relationships, according to him, generally either ended up with guys reasonably close to themselves on the spectrum.

I realise it isn't possible to generalise but it seems to me that it's best for people who are fairly similar to get together ie. similar expectations from a relationship and from life. And I do worry about the level of "faking" involved in this plan for relationships although I think it is very well meant. I will not pretend to be something I'm not (and couldn't in any case) and no doubt many other aspies would feel the same way.

This relationship guide seems to me to be best suited for the borderline aspie/NT guys. I also think there needs to be consideration of how aspie guys and girls will be able to interact as the usual rules may not apply.

Which sure doesn't sound like aspies to me.
Nor do I agree that they're not jerks. The
guys who act this way are EXACTLY what
I tend to classify as such.

Guys who brag about how many "chicks" they've done it with are usually jerks. The ones who are getting plenty don't need to tell everybody.

*ouch* that update made my head hurt!

I think I might stick with solitude.

Yeah, I had trouble reading it after a while. These people's way of thinking seemed so foreign to me. Shouldn't it be called the "Alpha male's guide to dating NT girls?". Aspie girls are often far less sentimental and emotionally demanding than NT girls so a different approach might be needed for them.

Is the guide suggesting that aspie girls are not worth dating? One hopes that this isn't the case as we are already marginalised in society for being women and being aspie.

I would suggest pandora that it is merely because statistically speaking there are more NT's than AS's so a guide to meeting AS's wouldn't be all that appropriate.

Anyhow, I was very interested in this guide. But I am thinking now that I'll wait for a guide designed for AS people, rather than a guide for NT people posted on an AS forum.

I think it's worse than that. I'd suggest "Alpha male's guide to scoring - without regard
to WHAT you get." Because, those females who I'd find acceptable, NT or not, just
aren't this weak.

Izaak, I think it is only that more males get diagnosed with autism that skews the figures. As it shows up differently in females, doctors are not so likely to look for it in them and tend to diagnose mental illnesses instead. If you took all the people, diagnosed or not, with autism - the ratio I believe would be at least 60/40 male/female and maybe 50/50.

I realise DataSage means well and wants to help people but find it rather repellant that the idea seems to be "scoring" as opposed to setting up proper relationships.

Wrong. You failed to read the entire thing. This type of stuff can be used for whatever your goal, ESPECIALLY long term relationships. In that sense, it's aim is to not have people settle, which is what a lot of men do nowadays. I won't be.

What if the way you are describing isn't the normal way you act? So you attract someone using your methods... but you can't keep that up forever... then in a long term relationship they find out about the real person underneath which is completely different than the person you put forward. Then it is just going to fall apart...

I'm contending that you shan't attract the
type of person that an aspie can keep.
Maybe sometimes, but 'tis not been my
experience.

Hell, I wanted to score a lot when younger.
I actually think that I was lucky NOT to have.
It might have harmed my conception of love.

This isn't "a way" to act, it's a method of control that is supplemental to each individual, regardless of one's personality, quirks, mannerisms, etc.

Honestly, once you have true confidence in yourself (I mean, REAL confidence, to the point where things like this don't phase you anymore), this stuff will become second nature. But, if you're a miserable "woe is me" aspie who still complains because nobody understands you, and how you've never had a girlfriend, then sorry, you'll never be able to be successful anywhere in life. I would know.

And where you can delete the criticisms
which do get to you.