Look out! It's a Nice Guy! DESTROY HIM!!

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First, why fat? What does fat have to do with anything? Second:

Didn't think I'd have to repeat myself but there it is. What do you have to answer to that?



Personally, I don't think a woman I've just met would be deserving of romantic gestures from me, and if I do them in order to impress instead of because I really want to then I would be doing it wrong. And if a woman I were to date based her decision on which guy bought her the prettiest things then she wouldn't be worth dating, really.
In general though, traditionally men are the chasers and women the choosers, and that does put men in a disadvantage. But men who are in high demand can turn the tables, I've read of cases where a woman would have sex earlier than she'd have wished because she fears that if she doesn't give in then some other woman probably will, so it's similar situations but in reverse. Besides, personality and behaviour are in the end more important; I'm friends with a guy who can pull off being a jerk with women and still winning them over other men who do what you said.



Sometimes this entitlement is subconscious. Almost nobody thinks "Oh I will do x and y and then she'll have sex with me yay!", but I've heard guys complaining how after spending so much time and money on dates they get nothing in return, which is a clear-cut case. A more subtle one would be resenting being left in the friendzone because one's efforts were for nothing; I think people should give because they want to, not with the unspoken agreement to get something in return

Rules? There are NT dating rules? WTF? I had no idea! No wonder I have never had a girlfriend! ($#@$%%^&^&^&^&^^&! !! !! !! !!) No one taught me these rules...well that explains it. I am not being facetious; I am serious. And yes, I am one of those nice guys; however, I do what I want and love to do (as long as it isn't illegal or hurts anyone else), and no one is going to change me.

nice guys are not entitled to sex,yes.
just like women are not entitled to confident men.
i hear women complaining about being hit on by jerks and dating losers.
well,ladies your not entitle to good confident men.

just,because your nice and do nice thing doesn't
mean a good confident man owes you a relationship.

Last edited by billiscool on 26 Jul 2013, 10:31 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Just because a person may think that he or she is nice, that does not make them so. There is a lot more to attractiveness than "Confidence" and "niceness". There is also appearance, grooming, hygiene, health, intelligence, talent, knowledge, and just being generally interesting.

Feminists hate this woman with a passion because she speaks truth!

Fnord is right on this. For the sufficient condition, these are other criteria one may have to meet. Being nice is only just one necessary condition. Those who think they're nice may not be so. Shabat is right as well. The problem lies with definitions. What does nice mean? What does respect mean?

If one is to solve a problem one has to identify the problem first. I believe the issues lie with pragmatics. I believe there are a bunch of people out there who are misunderstanding certain pragmatics of the English language.

Why do you think you have a hard time getting a girlfriend?

Ah, that clarifies your view for me thanks. I was inclined to agree with this initially (I don't completely disagree now either). But I've given some thought to this and come to some initial conclusions. I first want to point out that I wasn't targeting your post specifically and was just generally thinking most of what was being said made no sense.

That situation can also just be someones expectations or hopes being dashed resulting in disappointment, and maybe resentments yes.. but I think resentments may not directly be for the reason that they put something in and didn't get something back.

Examples:

Someone mislead them by letting them believe they were still dating (and not just friends) and so this "nice guy" had been taken advantage of financially. I agree that if a person wants to give something then yes it shouldn't be done for the expectation of getting something back but I am inclined to see that as a sign of tenderness or just a gesture of being able to be tender later on in a relationship (so the financial aspect I think is less important). It's also OK to treat a friend to a meal but not on the pretext that it's a date.

Their date starts ignoring them and not returning calls or texts rather than just being honest about things - that is to say they should be adults about it and just be honest, that's adult responsibility and I think someone has a right to expect that (assuming they themselves behaved like an adult). If someone is honest and behaves like an adult about it then yes I think that point is valid because you can hardly resent someone for wanting to be a friend and say you're being mature about it.
[end examples]

There may be disappointments or even hard feelings and I'm inclined to be sympathetic and not label it as expectation if someone has resentments at first (that eventually fade), provided it's not outward signs of being demanding of people. I think it's also hard to judge wether or not something is an expectation as opposed to just a resentment of specific circumstances or say lack of progress in general, especially in the case of the examples above. It can also just be envy of others who are able to make progress.

But I said I don't completely disagree:

Demanding behaviours fit easily into that category.
In the extreme case a view that the world owes them something I think fits your definition.
To think "I should have been able to progress there, I don't see what their problem was with me." probably fits that definition of resentments too.

There are maybe others but this is a long post already - I just accept you do have a point here. But I don't believe this automatically goes with the definition of "nice guy" or that it's exclusive to nice guys. I think that anyone with a sense of entitlement is wrong, but I do not believe that all expectations or hopes fall into that same category. Also if we assume that this is a fine line kind of definition then maybe those people who believe they're entitled are an exception to the rule.

PS: Forgot to say I think generally people ought to be relaxed/chilled about this kinda thing with the exception that someone does make a big deal about their expectations not being met - I think it might not be inherently bad if there are no outward signs that create a problem for others, and may just be a personal problem for someone to work on.

Sounds like you just want gender conformist perfection, don't you?

So what do you have to offer?

Yeah, pics or she doesn't exist lol.

She better be smoking hot because she's always posting on here with an extreme sense of entitlement with respect to men. So if she is not at least 7/10 (70th percentile), then she is doing exactly what people are accusing the nice guys of doing.

Personally I have never been convinced by the survival of the fittest thing, and by all this about gut feeling levels of attraction. What people think and how they think does play a part in what traits they are attracted to in people. I've know women who have a list they made themselves for what they require in a partner that really doesn't have much to do with gut level attraction, and has more to do with the attitude that they can set a high standard - and still expect complete perfection and lasting happiness with such a partner (assuming they can find them) without the usual problems that go with it. Sorry but that doesn't work and everyone knows it. You only have to consider personality types to know that. [directed at nobody in particular]

I don´t necessarily want perfection, I want a nice guy that a find attractive and is confident. Almost every woman does

Irrelevant. Attractive is subjective.
What one might find a 7/10 another might find a 4/10 and another a 10/10.

Besides, everyone wants to date someone that is friendly and attractive. That goes for 4/10s too.

And almost every guy wants a skinny tall blond model (not me, but most do).

But because of society's gender double standards, everyone feels sorry for the deluded 4/10 single woman but calls the 4/10 guy an entitled prick. In fact, they are both entitled pricks.

Anyone who talks about wanting society's idea of gendered perfection without talking just as much about what they have to offer is an entitled prick. This goes for nice guy (TM) and nice girl (TM).

Hey! I like chubby girls!! !