Were does all the hate in this sub-forum come from?

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am i ok with people mocking me for the way i deal with street harassment and threats when there's more than one guy involved and i'm alone and without a cellphone?--no, i'm not ok with that. should i be?

edit* because you can say whatever you want about me being a man-hater or b***h or whatever, i can live with that just fine, but no one calls me a coward.....when there is just one guy by himself, or two if they're not significantly larger than me, i do tell them where to stick their unwanted comments or threats. when there are more than two guys, and especially if they are young men and likely to be trying to impress one another, i say nothing and walk faster. i like to think what that says about me is not that i'm cowardly, but that i'm not a f*****g idiot.

No, that's a personal safety issue. You shouldn't be ok with any threat to your personal safety ever, period. In all honesty though you brought that issue up halfway through the thread, well after it had gotten personal between you two. People say things they don't mean when they get angry. It happens, we're all only human. I'm not asking you to forgive or forget, I'm just asking you to take some time off from this thread and come back at it when you're more relaxed and thinking straight. Like I said, I've noticed in the last few weeks you've been really agitated on here-- it's just the internet, people sometimes do stupid s**t on the internet...[sarcasm] like post a can't we all just love each other thread on the love and dating forum [/sarcasm]....

I never called or implied that you were a coward. I said I thought you felt bad about not saying anything at the time so you were saying things here. There were times I didn't say something too, because I knew I'd get my ass handed to me. That's not being a coward, that's using common sense. It made me angrier later though, that I didn't have what I needed to be able to say something and by that I don't mean backbone, I meant firepower just in case.

It's natural to be mad at somebody else, or yourself and take it out on other people. Everybody does it. It's not healthy but everybody still does it, even from time to time.

I never said you were a coward. And I also gave you some suggestions on how to feel safer. Using them wouldn't mean you have to speak up to everybody who talks s**t to you. It would mean that you could walk past knowing that if they did try something physical they would be truly, truly sorry.

I'm very aware that not everybody has the same mouth on them that I have on me and not everybody is going to say something back every time. I'm simply telling you my experience of how much better it made me feel when I did say something back. Have I gotten physically hurt before because of my mouth? Oh, you betcha! Have I said stupid things and stupid times before? You've read my posts, take a wild guess. Did it stop me? Unfortunately, nope but I've learned not to say something back to a really, really big guy in a parking lot.

Most people are just bluster. Thats why you can usually safely say something back. You're always going to take a chance on running into a drunk or somebody high who isn't, or somebody who is just an a**hole and isn't. That's life and no laws or rules will stop them.

However, I never called you a coward, and my intent was never to shame you. If you took it that way, I apologize.

i don't believe you, i think this is revenge for your friend aspieotaku. you meant to make me feel weak and afraid for not always speaking up, and "running to the boys" to get help because i can't get it myself, according to you. your tone was not one of offering help, it was mocking and nasty and you know it. i didn't ask for your advice on how to deal with street harassment or threats of violence in my life, so don't offer them. you feel bad for your friend so you came into this discussion to s**t on me and i won't stand for that. have the balls to stand behind your sh***y behaviour and be honest about it, if you''re going to insist on being sh***y.

f**k it, it's my thread. I'm asking for it to be closed. There's no need to argue in a thread that I was hoping would help us discuss solutions to the problems on this forum, not create them.

I have no idea where that came from. There was no conspiring with him about any of this. I don't usually read the threads he posts on. I know him because once when I was having a breakdown I asked for someone to talk to and posted my number and he was the only one who called me. He was a very nice boy. We talked for about an hour until my phone died. I've seen him post a very few things, I don't know if he's sexist or not, but he didn't come across that way.

Whether or not you believe me doesn't change my intent or what I wrote. If I wanted you to feel weak and afraid for not speaking up I would have said you didn't have the balls to do it and made fun of you. I speak my mind. I don't ever have to use any kind of backhanded s**t. I told you exactly what I thought. If you've ever read many of my posts, you would know this, but we don't usually post in the same threads, so you probably don't know that about me.

My tone wasn't nasty and mocking. I was simply telling you what I though. If I wanted to do that, I would have used italics. As for not wanting my advice about how to handle it, it's a public forum and you mentioned that you were harrassed in the street and felt vulnerable because of it, and having been there myself I told you what I would have done and have done and suggested you try it. It's a public forum and you posted a situation on there and it's the normal thing for someone who has been there to post suggestions to you about it.

As for running to the boys, I did find that ironic and I told you that. So what? I have the balls to stand behind that and every other thing I've said, most of which were not mean.

I gave AO a hug in the forum because he was nice to me when I needed somebody to be nice to me. If I were to ever see him say something sexist, you bet your sweet bippy I would call him out on it. I don't mince words, and what you read from me is what you get and what I'm thinking. I have no reason to do anything like that. If I wanted you to feel bad, I would have said some things to make you feel bad, which would have been removed by the mods by now, but I have no reason to make you feel bad. Why should I? We disagree. This is how I debate.

Sometimes, when I'm going through a shitstorm of hell in my life, I get real sensitive like this and start looking for all kinds of ulterior motives that aren't there. That may be what's going on with you. I honestly don't know what to tell you to do about that, because usually I would go to the doc and get my antidepressants back but right now I can't and I don't know how you normally handle this when it happens to you. I'm telling you straight up that you are overreacting and seeing motives and intent that aren't there. It's up to you whether or not you choose to believe me, but I've done all I can.

I still strongly disagree with you over the whole issues we have discussed. That's not gonna change. I don't expect you to change your mind either. I just thought we could debate it like adults.

I'm sorry you're going through everything you're going through. I'm going through a lot too. Sometimes all you can do is sit back and wait for it to get better and just hope it won't get worse.

Bless your heart.

I'm trying to make things better now!

.wrong forum

Last edited by desertnomad on 24 May 2014, 12:01 am, edited 1 time in total.

In her defense, I ripped AspieOtaku harder than anyone, and I've yet to find OliveOilMom getting in my face about it.

In his honor:

So in the past hours you have managed to:

-Bully a member.
-Make said member reply with f**k you to people.
-Make OP request a lock on this thread
-Make other mods look into heavier moderation here without contacting alex, even though he said he wanted us to do the opposite


Great job everyone.

You may now move along to the next thread about nice guys