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Why are women so triggered by the friendzone?

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hurtloam
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15 Sep 2017, 4:13 am

sly279 wrote:
hurtloam wrote:

I guess if you love the person you will make compromises.

That's the problem with online dating. There's no heart in it. It's a box checking exercise.

I know men who would rather be alone than support a woman. It's scary to give up security of your current life and add another perspective. I think people try and be a little logical about it. Money worries can add a lot of strain on a relationship.

I think you're more idealistic than the average person. Maybe you're too good and need someone less jaded than the average westerner. I imagine you with someone sweet and homely that likes to bake cookies. She'd make her own clothes and be thrifty, maybe have a little vegetable patch.


It's not just online women box check offline too in fact all those women online exist in person too :o I've meet quite a few in person and they say the same stuff as online dating women say. I even had a female coworker who knows I'm single as me where are all the good men. Clearly she didn't see me as good since I work at same place she does :(

Seems most men have n USA will gladly support a woman. Most do. I see them every day at work. Few of the female employees are stay at home wife's who got the job for the discount for their husbands.

Who doesn't have money worries? Besides the super rich.

I could bake her cookies and she could buy clothes. I'm not a hippy. I get clothes, I have some nice things. It's not a terrible life. May not have 3 new cars, vacation hous, boat, atvs and some horses but it's not bad life being poor. You can still have fun, eat out occasionally and have nice things. I could buy her some nice clothes at work even.

But i dont know like I said elsewhere I'll never have a long term relationship. Even if a girl wants one. At some point she'd want to get me gifts or do stuff for me. I won't take them or accept it


My imaginary woman is insulted that you don't think her dressmaking skills are very good lol



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15 Sep 2017, 5:54 am

naturalplastic wrote:
FunkyPunky wrote:
Okay so lets say a guy and a girl are friends. They get to be really close friends. The guy develops feelings for the girl and would like to date her but the girl is only interested in him as a friend. The guy says "I've been friendzoned." Suddenly the guy is being attacked by a horde of angry women. They say the friendzone doesn't exist. They accuse him of being sexist and misogynistic. They say he feels entitled to sex because he's a "nice guy." They ask him where his fedora is. They point out over and over and over how a woman is not obligated to return his feelings. The guy never said or even hinted at any of these things but the women are 100% convinced that they all apply to him and that he deserves every bit of abuse they throw at him.

Why is this such a common thing?


Why do guys make dumb posts like this?

Nobody (male or female) actively "friendzones" you. Its the other way around. The nonsexual

"just friend" status is the normal common default setting.

Its the rare people who achieve attraction status who are the ones being actively placed into a special "zone".

So if you use the term "friendzone" then you are displaying a crippling lack of common sense and are showing that you think the tail wags the dog.

And further -yes you ARE showing that you are entitled to sex by the mere fact that you use the nonsensical term "friendzone". By definition the term implies that members of the opposite sex are all eager to throw themselves at you, and that they all have to make the conscious decision to not thrown themselves at you. When obviously the opposite is the case.


Well said. I think emotions control the process and the intellect makes up justifications to maintain the illusion of free will. Otherwise, I agree.

Do you know these Hordes of angry women, by any chance? I'd love to meet them.


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15 Sep 2017, 6:24 am

314pe wrote:
funeralxempire wrote:
You're right, if what you're getting at is most women don't want to gain a dependent when dating, they expect someone who's capable of being financially independent. I imagine most men do too, unless their goal is to end up with someone who can't leave them because they have no income or ability to support themselves independently.

But why is having a dependant partner worse than being a dependent partner? I don't see any rational explanation for this.

Most men can't afford to have such standard, btw. For example, in my age and income range there's hardly any women at all.


funeralxempire wrote:
Why have a dependent partner period?

For me it's better to have a dependent partner than to be alone.

funeralxempire wrote:
Why does either partner have to be dependent?

Circumstances.



hurtloam
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15 Sep 2017, 6:28 am

I'd rather be alone. It's stressful enough looking after myself. I can't run round after someone who can't look after themselves.



314pe
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15 Sep 2017, 6:46 am

It is stressful, I agree.



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15 Sep 2017, 10:46 am

Barchan wrote:
naturalplastic wrote:
Why do guys make dumb posts like this?

Nobody (male or female) actively "friendzones" you. Its the other way around. The nonsexual

"just friend" status is the normal common default setting.

Its the rare people who achieve attraction status who are the ones being actively placed into a special "zone".

So if you use the term "friendzone" then you are displaying a crippling lack of common sense and are showing that you think the tail wags the dog.

And further -yes you ARE showing that you are entitled to sex by the mere fact that you use the nonsensical term "friendzone". By definition the term implies that members of the opposite sex are all eager to throw themselves at you, and that they all have to make the conscious decision to not thrown themselves at you. When obviously the opposite is the case.

I know, right? Just look at the language men use to describe the friend zone. They ask for advice on how to "escape" the friend zone. Even the term "friend zone" makes me think of the phantom zone, which is an interdimensional prison Superman sends his worst enemies to. It shows massive levels of entitlement; the friend zoned man suggests that he is being deprived of his "rights". This is high-level misogyny.


This everybody is the perfect example of what I was talking about. As you can observe nowhere in my first post did I say anything that they are claiming I said. The definition of the friendzone is 100% nonoffensive so these two had to lie and put words in people's mouths to make it offensive. Why are they like this? It's one of the great mysteries of the universe. But I suppose the real question isn't why they're offended by the friendzone. It's why they WANT to be offended by it.



jrjones9933
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15 Sep 2017, 10:49 am

It's terrible that people insist on talking about their real experiences instead of your absurd hypothetical scenario.


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FunkyPunky
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15 Sep 2017, 10:52 am

Jusy fyi jrjones I'm not getting into another argument with you. Every time you leave one of your smug insults I'm just going to report you.



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15 Sep 2017, 11:12 am

wanderlust77 wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
^ Men can change this reality by being more picky, to reject women on income and employment basis. If men do this in mass, things would be balanced (Women would have no choice but to adjust their financial expectations).

I think all those men movements should focus more on that part: men's standards had always been too low and forgiving when it comes to assets, we shall rise to women's levels. And also to promote the househusband/housebf role as well as an alternative life choice for men.

I keep telling similar things to guys. I tell them why women do somethings. They don't believe me, just laugh at me "they know women" alright most of them are not picky, they only want a model-looking girlfriend.

Sometimes I don't know what to think about this "men's standards had always been too low"
Is it because it is hard to get a "permanent p****"=they are being lazy, when they find and acceptable woman, they will put up with a lot of s**t
or
when a man falls in love, he loves deeper than a woman. He's got no hidden agenda.

Not sure about the househusband thing. I don't think it is for proper men. Aren't they the conquerors? Staying home seems to go against their nature.


Oooo me. I can explain this. Pre hrt I believed and knew with all my heart if I found a girl I would be grateful and do my best to make it work. Loyalty was all I cared about because it just made sense as long as I was willing to give her my all everything should be ok. Being a provider and having her to come home to each day would make it already. Waking up in bed and seeing her smile. The whole nine yards.

But now.....well I was told hrt affects the brain and I kinda belive it. I honeatly believe none of this. Nothing has changed no new experiences just that undying loyalty to a partner doesn't seem possible or real. Like I cant imagine someone making me feel that way anymore. I think and this sounds bad more materialistic? Like if I see someone I think what's the potential for them to be supportive etc rather than me do everything?

But yes I honestly believe men love harder than women and I believe it has to do with men's feelings being more of a controlled wave and less of a Rolla r coaster like women. My feelings would go up and f*****g down if I allowed them to. If I didn't have my male experiences and memories of what it felt like in the same situations back then I would think every feeling I have now is real and trust that. And that would be f*****g scary some of the ways I feel sometime.


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15 Sep 2017, 11:20 am

FunkyPunky wrote:
Barchan wrote:
naturalplastic wrote:
Why do guys make dumb posts like this?

Nobody (male or female) actively "friendzones" you. Its the other way around. The nonsexual

"just friend" status is the normal common default setting.

Its the rare people who achieve attraction status who are the ones being actively placed into a special "zone".

So if you use the term "friendzone" then you are displaying a crippling lack of common sense and are showing that you think the tail wags the dog.

And further -yes you ARE showing that you are entitled to sex by the mere fact that you use the nonsensical term "friendzone". By definition the term implies that members of the opposite sex are all eager to throw themselves at you, and that they all have to make the conscious decision to not thrown themselves at you. When obviously the opposite is the case.

I know, right? Just look at the language men use to describe the friend zone. They ask for advice on how to "escape" the friend zone. Even the term "friend zone" makes me think of the phantom zone, which is an interdimensional prison Superman sends his worst enemies to. It shows massive levels of entitlement; the friend zoned man suggests that he is being deprived of his "rights". This is high-level misogyny.


This everybody is the perfect example of what I was talking about. As you can observe nowhere in my first post did I say anything that they are claiming I said. The definition of the friendzone is 100% nonoffensive so these two had to lie and put words in people's mouths to make it offensive. Why are they like this? It's one of the great mysteries of the universe. But I suppose the real question isn't why they're offended by the friendzone. It's why they WANT to be offended by it.


Trust me when I say this. The reason for this is when men say anything regarded as women the first thintg women think is I'm not like that or I will never be like that. It's hard for girls to think in the sense they have the full capacity to do something given the circumstances thus when things happen to them it's special and it "felt" right. They are slaves to their feelings because they can't adknowledge they are. BS


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15 Sep 2017, 11:23 am

hurtloam wrote:
sly279 wrote:
hurtloam wrote:

I guess if you love the person you will make compromises.

That's the problem with online dating. There's no heart in it. It's a box checking exercise.

I know men who would rather be alone than support a woman. It's scary to give up security of your current life and add another perspective. I think people try and be a little logical about it. Money worries can add a lot of strain on a relationship.

I think you're more idealistic than the average person. Maybe you're too good and need someone less jaded than the average westerner. I imagine you with someone sweet and homely that likes to bake cookies. She'd make her own clothes and be thrifty, maybe have a little vegetable patch.


It's not just online women box check offline too in fact all those women online exist in person too :o I've meet quite a few in person and they say the same stuff as online dating women say. I even had a female coworker who knows I'm single as me where are all the good men. Clearly she didn't see me as good since I work at same place she does :(

Seems most men have n USA will gladly support a woman. Most do. I see them every day at work. Few of the female employees are stay at home wife's who got the job for the discount for their husbands.

Who doesn't have money worries? Besides the super rich.

I could bake her cookies and she could buy clothes. I'm not a hippy. I get clothes, I have some nice things. It's not a terrible life. May not have 3 new cars, vacation hous, boat, atvs and some horses but it's not bad life being poor. You can still have fun, eat out occasionally and have nice things. I could buy her some nice clothes at work even.

But i dont know like I said elsewhere I'll never have a long term relationship. Even if a girl wants one. At some point she'd want to get me gifts or do stuff for me. I won't take them or accept it


My imaginary woman is insulted that you don't think her dressmaking skills are very good lol

Lol

If a girl wanted to make her own dress that's ok I simple meant she wouldn't have to



sly279
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15 Sep 2017, 11:23 am

hurtloam wrote:
sly279 wrote:
hurtloam wrote:

I guess if you love the person you will make compromises.

That's the problem with online dating. There's no heart in it. It's a box checking exercise.

I know men who would rather be alone than support a woman. It's scary to give up security of your current life and add another perspective. I think people try and be a little logical about it. Money worries can add a lot of strain on a relationship.

I think you're more idealistic than the average person. Maybe you're too good and need someone less jaded than the average westerner. I imagine you with someone sweet and homely that likes to bake cookies. She'd make her own clothes and be thrifty, maybe have a little vegetable patch.


It's not just online women box check offline too in fact all those women online exist in person too :o I've meet quite a few in person and they say the same stuff as online dating women say. I even had a female coworker who knows I'm single as me where are all the good men. Clearly she didn't see me as good since I work at same place she does :(

Seems most men have n USA will gladly support a woman. Most do. I see them every day at work. Few of the female employees are stay at home wife's who got the job for the discount for their husbands.

Who doesn't have money worries? Besides the super rich.

I could bake her cookies and she could buy clothes. I'm not a hippy. I get clothes, I have some nice things. It's not a terrible life. May not have 3 new cars, vacation hous, boat, atvs and some horses but it's not bad life being poor. You can still have fun, eat out occasionally and have nice things. I could buy her some nice clothes at work even.

But i dont know like I said elsewhere I'll never have a long term relationship. Even if a girl wants one. At some point she'd want to get me gifts or do stuff for me. I won't take them or accept it


My imaginary woman is insulted that you don't think her dressmaking skills are very good lol


Lol

If she wanted to she could I just meant she didn't have to



sly279
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15 Sep 2017, 11:26 am

hurtloam wrote:
I'd rather be alone. It's stressful enough looking after myself. I can't run round after someone who can't look after themselves.

What? So cause someone isn't as well off as you you'd have to look after them? I think you taking dependent way too literally. I for example can handle myself just fine and pay my part of the bills with government aid. I don't want to be looked after.
Dependent here just means the person makes less then you. It's a tax thing. If a person living with you makes less you can claim them as a dependent which by the way saves you on taxes.



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15 Sep 2017, 11:44 am

SilverBoltsisWmax wrote:
FunkyPunky wrote:
Barchan wrote:
naturalplastic wrote:
Why do guys make dumb posts like this?

Nobody (male or female) actively "friendzones" you. Its the other way around. The nonsexual

"just friend" status is the normal common default setting.

Its the rare people who achieve attraction status who are the ones being actively placed into a special "zone".

So if you use the term "friendzone" then you are displaying a crippling lack of common sense and are showing that you think the tail wags the dog.

And further -yes you ARE showing that you are entitled to sex by the mere fact that you use the nonsensical term "friendzone". By definition the term implies that members of the opposite sex are all eager to throw themselves at you, and that they all have to make the conscious decision to not thrown themselves at you. When obviously the opposite is the case.

I know, right? Just look at the language men use to describe the friend zone. They ask for advice on how to "escape" the friend zone. Even the term "friend zone" makes me think of the phantom zone, which is an interdimensional prison Superman sends his worst enemies to. It shows massive levels of entitlement; the friend zoned man suggests that he is being deprived of his "rights". This is high-level misogyny.


This everybody is the perfect example of what I was talking about. As you can observe nowhere in my first post did I say anything that they are claiming I said. The definition of the friendzone is 100% nonoffensive so these two had to lie and put words in people's mouths to make it offensive. Why are they like this? It's one of the great mysteries of the universe. But I suppose the real question isn't why they're offended by the friendzone. It's why they WANT to be offended by it.


Trust me when I say this. The reason for this is when men say anything regarded as women the first thintg women think is I'm not like that or I will never be like that. It's hard for girls to think in the sense they have the full capacity to do something given the circumstances thus when things happen to them it's special and it "felt" right. They are slaves to their feelings because they can't adknowledge they are. BS


So what you're saying is if a woman says they don't fit a generalization a guy makes about women....they are simply in denial? Or am I misunderstanding, I do hope I am misunderstanding...


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15 Sep 2017, 12:23 pm

Sweetleaf wrote:
SilverBoltsisWmax wrote:
FunkyPunky wrote:
Barchan wrote:
naturalplastic wrote:
Why do guys make dumb posts like this?

Nobody (male or female) actively "friendzones" you. Its the other way around. The nonsexual

"just friend" status is the normal common default setting.

Its the rare people who achieve attraction status who are the ones being actively placed into a special "zone".

So if you use the term "friendzone" then you are displaying a crippling lack of common sense and are showing that you think the tail wags the dog.

And further -yes you ARE showing that you are entitled to sex by the mere fact that you use the nonsensical term "friendzone". By definition the term implies that members of the opposite sex are all eager to throw themselves at you, and that they all have to make the conscious decision to not thrown themselves at you. When obviously the opposite is the case.

I know, right? Just look at the language men use to describe the friend zone. They ask for advice on how to "escape" the friend zone. Even the term "friend zone" makes me think of the phantom zone, which is an interdimensional prison Superman sends his worst enemies to. It shows massive levels of entitlement; the friend zoned man suggests that he is being deprived of his "rights". This is high-level misogyny.


This everybody is the perfect example of what I was talking about. As you can observe nowhere in my first post did I say anything that they are claiming I said. The definition of the friendzone is 100% nonoffensive so these two had to lie and put words in people's mouths to make it offensive. Why are they like this? It's one of the great mysteries of the universe. But I suppose the real question isn't why they're offended by the friendzone. It's why they WANT to be offended by it.


Trust me when I say this. The reason for this is when men say anything regarded as women the first thintg women think is I'm not like that or I will never be like that. It's hard for girls to think in the sense they have the full capacity to do something given the circumstances thus when things happen to them it's special and it "felt" right. They are slaves to their feelings because they can't adknowledge they are. BS


So what you're saying is if a woman says they don't fit a generalization a guy makes about women....they are simply in denial? Or am I misunderstanding, I do hope I am misunderstanding...


You are. Women say I would never cheat. I love my partner too much. Then if the desire to cheat happens it must be real because I would never cheat. It's not it's normal for people to feel like cheating and I have to ignore this. It's if I feel this way despite who I am it must be true. I am falling out of love or my patner isn't treating me right.

Best example ever.

WOman walks in kithen with cup. She sees her partner around the corner she gets startled and drops the cup. She says you startled me
BUT she dropped the cup is the point.


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hurtloam
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15 Sep 2017, 12:28 pm

That's a stupid analogy he did startle her. She wouldn't have dropped the cup if he hadn't been there.

She didn't drop the cup deliberately. She had no control over dropping the cup. It's what happens when you're startled.